Taking His Sweet Time

| LaGrange, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(A mother is shopping with her 5 year old son is lagging behind.)

Mother: “C’mon! We’re in a hurry!”

Son: “Mama, I was looking at the chocolate pudding. You know, you’re not supposed to bother me while I’m looking at the chocolate pudding.”

Weeding Out The Truth

, | MS, USA | Uncategorized

(The cigar shop sells hookahs and tobacco for it. It’s called sheesha.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for hookah tobacco. It’s called…uh…ganja?”

Me: “This is the only hookah tobacco we sell.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

(As I am ringing him out, it suddenly occurs to him what he had asked for.)

Customer: “Oh my God! Did I just ask you for weed?”

Related:
Weeding Out The Good Customers

Customers Cause A Pounding Headache

| Bensalem, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like a pound of Tilapia, please.”

Me: “No problem.”

(I put 3 pieces on the scale, and the weight comes to 1.02 pounds.)

Me: “Is that good?”

Customer: *sighs, then sounding utterly dejected* “Good enough.”

Parking Up The Wrong Tree

| OH, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks in to the Service Desk.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Is there something that I can help you with?”

Customer: “That car in your parking lot has been sitting there for over a week and has not been moved! Shouldn’t you guys do something about that? I live across the street and I am absolutely sick of looking at it!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, it is broken down and we have informed the Sheriff’s department about it. It will be towed if they cannot contact the owner.”

Customer: “Well, that is absolutely the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Cars that have nothing to do with the store should not be parked here! I am so angry! Where are my dinner guests going to park now?!”

Should Have Heard It From The Grape Vine

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Uncategorized

(I work the register and a young customer puts her stuff onto the belt.)

Me: “How are you doing today?”

Customer: “Good, just buying stuff for my culinary class.”

(I notice she has cooking wine, which requires a person to be 21 to buy.)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “You have to be 21 to purchase the cooking wine.”

Customer: “You mean cooking wine is actually wine?”

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