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  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
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  • Not Being Paid To Navel Gaze

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

    (My customer is an old friend I have not seen since high school.)

    Customer: *showing off her belly* “Seven months! The baby kicks sometimes, do you want to feel?”

    Me: “Sure!”

    (I finish with my customer, and move on to the next customer in line, an older man.)

    Customer: *rubbing his belly and grinning* “Mine growls sometimes! Wanna feel mine too?”

    Knocked It Before He Thai’d It

    | St. Paul, MN, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Uncategorized

    (Our store has a hot lunch station, which includes soup made in house.)

    Customer: “Is there a schedule for the soups? Like, is it the same thing week after week?”

    Me: “It is right here.” *pointing to this month’s soup menu*

    Customer: “It seems like the soups lately have all been kind of, well, leftish fringe. All red lentils and stuff.”

    (He scrutinizes the menu, muttering to himself.)

    Customer: “Ha! ‘German Sausage and Potato’. That’s normal. Who knows what the h*** is in ‘Thai Curry’."

    Not Quite Streets Ahead

    | USA | At The Checkout, Funny Names, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

    (I am checking out a customer and taking their details.)

    Me: “Ma’am, what is your street name?”

    Customer: “I don’t really have one of those. I usually just go by Shanice.”

    Me: “Uh, ma’am, I meant the street name where you live.”

    Customer: “Oh, I knew that!”

    Source: Pope Michael

    Don’t Take Customers At Face Value

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Uncategorized

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “You look like a serial killer!”

    Me: “Um… I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you look exactly like you’ve killed a someone, then locked them in your basement. But maybe that’s just the kind of person you look like. I don’t know, I’m not here to judge.”

    Love Thy Culturally Homogenous Neighbor

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Religion, Uncategorized

    Me: “I hope you’ve found everything to your liking!”

    Customer: “Oh, thank you, I have! It’s so nice to meet a polite Christian girl nowadays! You know, it’s always best to love thy neighbor.”

    Me: “Oh, actually, I’m not Christian. But yes, I agree.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, as long as you love Jesus our savior!”

    Me: “Actually, I’m Muslim and Jewish.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Well, my mother is Jewish and my father is Muslim.”

    Customer: “Oh. When I said ‘love thy neighbor,’ I didn’t mean you!”

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