November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

When The Not Blind Lead The Blind

| Sydney, Australia | Uncategorized

(I work in a shop with several shelves of vitamins and herbal products. A man walks into the store and straight up to my counter.)

Customer: “Vitamins.”

Me: “What kind are you looking for?”

Customer: “Eyes.”

(He starts to scan the shelves with admirable inefficiency.)

Me: “These ones?”

(I point at the supplements specifically for eyesight.)

Customer: “No.”

(He scans shelves some more.)

Customer: “I can’t see them! You’re useless!”

(He throws his hands in the air and storms out of the store.)

Limited Only By Your Intelligence

| Iowa City, IA, USA | At The Checkout, Money

Customer: “Is there a limit to the cash I can get back?”

Me: “Yes, the limit is 50 dollars.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. It says I can put in a number rather than one of the options?”

Me: “Yes, that’s true.”

(The machine pops up an alarm saying that the cash back limit has been passed.)

Customer: “I asked for 60 back. Did that confuse it?”

Me: “Yes, the limit is 50 dollars.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought that by putting in my own number, I could bypass the limit.”

Me: “No, ma’am, the limit is always 50 dollars.”

Customer: *re-swipes card* “I see. The limit is 40 dollars.”

Me: “No, ma’am. The limit is 50 dollars.”

Customer: “But the options given only go up to 40.”

Me: “Yes, but you can put up to 50 dollars in the custom number option.”

Customer: “No, that doesn’t work.”

Me: “Yes, it does but you have to put less than 50. 50 is the limit.”

Customer: “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about and I–”

(The transaction finishes processing.)

Me: “Here’s your 40 dollars. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Unfortunately, Stupidity Is Forever

| Pennsylvania, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Top

(I have reddish brown hair with the underside dyed teal. Today, my hair is up in a clip, which makes it very visible.)

Customer: “Ugh, why would you do that to yourself?”

Me: “I’m sorry, do what?”

Customer: “Dye your hair that awful color! Are you that desperate for attention?”

Me: “No, teal is just my favorite color, and it makes me happy. And the great thing about hair is that it isn’t permanent.”

Customer: “I don’t get you rebellious teenagers.”

Me: “I’m 24 and very happily married. I’m not trying to rebel against anyone or anything. I just like teal, ma’am.”

Customer: “What are you going to tell your kids when they ask why mommy has blue hair?”

Me: “Oh, it’ll definitely be gone by then.”

Customer: *walks out with a big tramp stamp sticking out from the bottom of her shirt*

Perverted Product Previews

| Connecticut, USA | Food & Drink

(I am a food service specialist in a deli.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “I want a quarter pound of American cheese.”

Me: “How is this sliced?”

Customer: “Don’t show me the slice! And I don’t want a sample, either!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it’s just our policy.”

Customer: “Well, that’s a stupid policy. If I were the manager, I would get rid of that.”

Me: “Well, most people like to see the slice so they can make sure it’s what they like.”

Customer: “What did you say? Most people want to see the slice? Well, that’s just sick!”

Self-Serve Sashimi

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work at a co-op food store and it’s not uncommon for people to eat an apple or something while they shop and pay for it at the register. A woman comes to the check out line and I notice an empty raw fish package.)

Customer: *trying to be discrete* “Oh…um…I’m also paying for this.”

(She holds up the empty raw fish package.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me, did…did you eat that?”

Customer: “Keep it down! I don’t want the entire store to know!”