Parking Up The Wrong Tree

| OH, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks in to the Service Desk.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Is there something that I can help you with?”

Customer: “That car in your parking lot has been sitting there for over a week and has not been moved! Shouldn’t you guys do something about that? I live across the street and I am absolutely sick of looking at it!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, it is broken down and we have informed the Sheriff’s department about it. It will be towed if they cannot contact the owner.”

Customer: “Well, that is absolutely the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Cars that have nothing to do with the store should not be parked here! I am so angry! Where are my dinner guests going to park now?!”

Should Have Heard It From The Grape Vine

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Uncategorized

(I work the register and a young customer puts her stuff onto the belt.)

Me: “How are you doing today?”

Customer: “Good, just buying stuff for my culinary class.”

(I notice she has cooking wine, which requires a person to be 21 to buy.)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “You have to be 21 to purchase the cooking wine.”

Customer: “You mean cooking wine is actually wine?”

Love A Jedi Shall Know

| Austin, TX, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

(I was at work and I saw two girls from my college I knew as acquaintances, but not as much more than that. I had a crush on one of them as she was really pretty and seemed nice for the most part. I watched as she and her friend approached the register.)

My Crush: “No, you’re wrong! I’m telling you, he never said that!”

(I assumed they were gossiping about something until I listened a little more to the conversation.)

Her Friend: “No, he did! He totally did! We watched it last night, stupid!”

My Crush: “Obi-Wan never says, ‘I love you, Anakin’. The line is ‘You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you!’.”

Her Friend: “No!”

My Crush: *turns to me* “Oh hey [my name]! What’s up?”

Me: “Not much. I’m good. And you’re right; Obi-Wan’s line was ‘You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you’.”

My Crush: “Oh, my God, thank you!” *turns to her friend* “And you call yourself a Star Wars fan.”

(Her friend scowled, but they paid and said goodbye. I watched as they got to the automatic doors. Her friend pretended to use ‘The Force’ on them. Suddenly, my crush jumped in front of her.)

My Crush: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

(I walked over and asked her out. We got married a month ago.)

Margarinelly Insane

| Surrey, UK | Uncategorized

Old Lady: *shouting randomly* “Marge? Marge?”

Me: “Are you OK?”

Old Lady: *worriedly* “I can’t find Marge!”

Me: “OK, I’ll see if I can find someone to help you.”

Old Lady: “Please don’t go, you must help me find Marge!”

Me: “OK, what does she look like?”

Old Lady: “Who?”

Me: “Your friend Marge?”

Old Lady: “I’m looking for margarine, it should be next to the butter!”

The Lesser Of Teen Evils

| North Carolina, USA | Top

(A man and his two sons are checking out through my register. The younger of the two sons grabs a bag of Skittles from the candy selection.)

Son: “Dad, can I have some Skittles?”

Dad: “No. Teenage girls eat Skittles. And what are teenage girls?”

Both sons: *raising their little fists in the air* “EVIL!”

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