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    The Grapes Of Telepaths

    | Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Uncategorized

    (I’m a merchandiser working one of the stores on my route. A customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “White wine!”

    Me: “You want a white wine?”

    Customer: “White wine!”

    Me: “Okay, sir. How about this one?”

    (I hold out a bottle of Chardonnay.)

    Customer: “That’s yellow. I want white wine.”

    Me: “Okay. How about a White Zinfandel?”

    Customer: “That’s pink. White wine!”

    Me: “Okay, how about this?”

    (I hold out a bottle of Pinot Grigio.)

    Customer: “That’s clear. I want white!”

    Me: “Sir, these are all white wines I’m showing you.”

    Customer: “I want a white wine!”

    Me: “Sir, these are white wines. ”

    Customer: “That one’s yellow. That one’s pink. That one’s clear. I want white wine!”

    (This went on for another ten minutes until his friend showed up. Turns out he wanted a yellow Chardonnay.)

    Concentrate Harder

    | CT, USA | Uncategorized

    (I am at a sample station of apple cider.)

    Customer: “Oh, apple cider!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. Would you like to try some?”

    (At this point the customer picks up the bottle.)

    Customer: “Oh, it’s not from concentrate. That means I can try some! I’m allergic to apples, you know.”

    Taking His Sweet Time

    | LaGrange, GA, USA | Uncategorized

    (A mother is shopping with her 5 year old son is lagging behind.)

    Mother: “C’mon! We’re in a hurry!”

    Son: “Mama, I was looking at the chocolate pudding. You know, you’re not supposed to bother me while I’m looking at the chocolate pudding.”

    Weeding Out The Truth

    , | MS, USA | Uncategorized

    (The cigar shop sells hookahs and tobacco for it. It’s called sheesha.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for hookah tobacco. It’s called…uh…ganja?”

    Me: “This is the only hookah tobacco we sell.”

    Customer: “Thank you!”

    (As I am ringing him out, it suddenly occurs to him what he had asked for.)

    Customer: “Oh my God! Did I just ask you for weed?”

    Weeding Out The Good Customers

    Customers Cause A Pounding Headache

    | Bensalem, PA, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I’d like a pound of Tilapia, please.”

    Me: “No problem.”

    (I put 3 pieces on the scale, and the weight comes to 1.02 pounds.)

    Me: “Is that good?”

    Customer: *sighs, then sounding utterly dejected* “Good enough.”

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