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    More Than Mildly Confused

    | Ontario, Canada | Top

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to buy some sausages.”

    Me: “Okay. We have about 15 different kinds, so which would you like?

    Customer: “What’s the difference between the mild, medium, and hot?”

    Me: “You mean in the price?”

    Customer: “No, in flavor.”

    Me: “One is mild, one is medium, and one is hot.”

    Customer: “So, which is the hottest?”

    Me: “The hot.”

    Customer: “…and the mild is hotter than medium?”

    Me: “No. The mild is the least hot, the medium is a bit hotter than that, and the hot has the most pepper.”

    Customer: “So the mild is mild?”

    Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    (I am checking out a man with a thick southern accent.)

    Me: “How would you like to pay for that?”

    Customer: “Oh, darn. I must’ve forgotten my credit card at home. All I got is money.”

    Me: “We do take cash.”

    Customer: “It’s American money. I know you folks don’t take that.”

    Me: “We take American money. This is America.”

    (The man’s mouth literally drops open.)

    Customer: “No fooling? When did that happen?”

    Me: “When Illinois became a territory of the United States of America?”

    Customer: “America took land from the Canadians? I must’ve missed it on the news.”

    Related:
    Yukon See It On A Map

    That Would Be A Mis-Steak

    | Adelaide, Australia |

    Customer: “Does this honey baked ham contain real honey?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s a honey glaze.”

    Customer: “Oh, I won’t get it then. It was for my daughter, she’s vegan. She can’t have honey, as she doesn’t believe in eating any animal products.”

    Blind To Reason, Part 2

    | Texas, USA |

    (Note: I’m bagging groceries.)

    Me: “So, are you going to make a pies?”

    Customer: “What did you say?!”

    Me: “Um, I noticed you’re buying a lot of stuff to make pies with. I asked if you were going to make some.”

    Customer: “Stop looking at my groceries!”

    Me: “Okay.” *I resume bagging*

    Customer: “I said to stop looking at them!”

    Me: “Um, okay.”

    (I close my eyes and attempt to bag them without seeing them.)

    Customer: “Stop mocking me!”

    Related:
    Blind To Reason

    Why Cashiers Should Rule The World

    | Arlington, VA, USAArlington, VA, USA | Top

    (I’m a customer in the check out line. I’m buying a box of tampons for my mom, who is bedridden after surgery. One of the two customers standing behind me in line speaks up.)

    Other customer: “Ha-ha what a p****. He’s buying tampons.”

    (I ignore the two and move forwards to the cashier. She’s an attractive girl of about 20 years old.)

    Cashier: “$5.71 after the discount.”

    (I have no idea what discount she’s talking about, but I pay her and get my change.)

    Cashier: *with a smile on her face* “Here you go baby, I’m taking my break now and I’ll see you at home at 8. Just leave the tampons in my car, please.”

    (She leans over the counter and kisses me on the cheek. She then turns the light off on the register number and walks off towards the other side of the store. The two customers watched her with their jaws open and angrily walk off to another register.)

    Related:
    Why Barkeeps Should Rule The World, Part 2

    Why Barkeeps Should Rule The World

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