Featured:
  • Sew Inappropriate
    (1,070 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    No ID, No Idea, Part 7

    | WV, USA | Uncategorized

    (A young man and two young women approach the lane with several bottles of wine. They are carded. The man is old enough to buy, but the girls aren’t.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell to you.”

    Customer: “Why not? I’m over 21!”

    Me: “But they’re not.”

    Customer: “They’re not the ones buying. I am!”

    Me: “Then why did you bring them in with you?”

    Customer: “Because I didn’t know what kind they liked.”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 6
    No ID, No Idea, Part 5
    No ID, No Idea, Part 4
    No ID, No Idea, Part 3
    No ID, No Idea, Part 2
    No ID, No Idea

    Language Skills Are Medi-okra

    | New Orleans, LA, USA | Uncategorized

    (I work as a demo lady.)

    Customer: “What’s this?”

    Me: “Chicken andouille gumbo.”

    Customer: “Wait…what?”

    Me: “Chicken andouille gumbo.”

    Customer: “Are…you speaking English?”

    Bucharettuce

    | Windsor, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

    (I’m ringing through a customer’s order. I put a romaine lettuce through. The customer points out a price error.)

    Customer: “The lettuce is $1.97, not $2.97.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Just to double check–it’s a romaine lettuce you have, right?”

    Customer: “No, it’s USA lettuce.”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “It’s USA lettuce.”

    Me: “Well, it’s from the USA, but it’s called romaine lettuce.”

    Customer: “No, it’s USA lettuce, not Romanian.”

    Your Query Is In Arrears

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Is Ricky the front end supervisor?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Well, he is no good! If Ricky is the front end supervisor, is there a rear end supervisor?”

    Smelling A Bargain

    | CT, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any of the regular fish oil pills?”

    Me: “No, I don’t have those. But we’ve got the odorless pills here.”

    Customer: “Thanks anyway. I really just wanted the regular ones.”

    Me: “Oh, but these are great. They’ve got no odor at all. If you take these, you won’t smell of fish!”

    Customer: “You mean I smell of fish?! Oh my God! I didn’t know! Nobody told me! I don’t believe I smell of fish!”

    Me: “Uh, that’s not what I meant.”

    Customer: “I didn’t know I smell of fish! Oh, this is awful!”

    (The customer opens his phone, dialing.)

    Customer, on phone: “Mom? It’s me. Why didn’t you tell me I smell of fish? Of course I do! The guy at the store just said I need to take the odorless pills because I smell of fish!”

    Me: *head in hands* “No, wait!”

    Customer: “I can’t believe even you didn’t tell me! I feel awful now! How long until it goes away?”

    Page 81/126First...7980818283...Last