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    Self-Disservice Checkout, Part 2

    | Grand Junction, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I make a quick stop at a grocery store one afternoon. I am using the self-checkout when I can’t help but overhear a couple at the self-check stand behind me.)

    Lady: “Why isn’t it working?”

    Man: “I don’t know. Just set it on the scanner.”

    Lady: “It still isn’t doing anything. Why won’t it scan?”

    (My curiosity finally gets to me and I turn to see what the problem was. The couple has a bell pepper, without any barcodes or stickers on it, and are trying to figure out why the scanner can’t read it. I just stand there staring at them in shock when the attendant walks up to assist them.)

    Attendant: “Oh, here, I’ll show you. There’s no barcode on that. You have to find the code.”

    Lady: “What!?! Why does it need a barcode?”

    Related:
    Self-Diservice Checkout

    Common Sense Isn’t In The Cards

    | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a grocery store that has a club card for ‘extra’ savings. Two customers come up with a six-case of wine. I ring them up.)

    Me: “Ma’am, do you have a club card?”

    Customer #1: “What is this?! You are charging me too much! Fix it!”

    Me: “If you just swipe your club card, the price will drop. Do you have one?”

    Customer #1: “You are overcharging me! Give me my money!”

    Me: *calmly* “Do you have a club card?”

    Customer #1: “I said give me the correct price NOW!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you need to put in your club card number for the discount. Do you have—”

    Customer #2: “Listen, girl, just give us the correct price!” *begins screaming in unison with friend*

    Me: *being interrupted every other word* “I cannot give it to you without a club card. Would you like to sign up for one?”

    (Eventually, I beckon my manager over and end up using one of our spare cards to show them the discount. He smoothes things over, but not before one of them tells him that I should be more polite. He pulls me aside to ask what happened.)

    Me: “They wouldn’t let me even explain that they needed a club card for their discount.”

    Boss: “Well, next time, just swipe it. And remember, just because you and I have common sense doesn’t mean they do.”

    Bad Parenting Just Hit The Motherlode

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I am 16 years old and working at a local grocery store, collecting carts outside. I notice an man standing next to a van with its door wide open and two young girls inside. The man informs me that one of the girls is having a nosebleed, and I notice a puddle of blood on the ground.)

    Me: “Little girl, who are you here with?”

    Little Girl: “My mommy is in the store, but she leaves us in the car.”

    Me: “I’m going to go inside and look for her. What’s her name?”

    Little Girl: “Mommy.”

    Me: “Okay, uh, what’s your last name?”

    (The girl tells me and I go inside while a coworker goes out to watch the girls. I explain to another coworker at customer service what is going on and she pages the mother.)

    Coworker: *over the intercom* “Mrs. [Name], please report to the service desk.”

    (We wait for five minutes and no one shows up. My coworker pages again. Five more minutes pass and still nothing. The mother is paged a third time. 20 minutes after that, a HALF HOUR after the first page, a woman uses the self-checkout and then comes up to the desk asking what they want. They inform her of the situation.)

    Woman: “That little brat better have not bled on the car. She knows she’s supposed to lean out the window.”

    Me: *after a pause in utter disbelief* “Ma’am, you continued shopping while your child could be in need of medical attention?!

    Woman: “She does this all the time, but I know it’s just for attention. I’m not gonna miss a sale because of that.”

    (She left with my coworker and me staring at each other, open-mouthed with shock. I looked out the front window to see the man who originally noticed the girls yelling at her. Going outside to make sure there wasn’t a fight, we heard him yelling about protective services and writing down her license plate number as the woman jumped into her car and sped away.)

    Overly Expressing Herself

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am the cashier for the express lane of the store. The express lane has a clearly posted sign that says twelve items or fewer. Unfortunately, a lot of customers come through with as many as twenty items. I still check them out, but I ask them to take larger orders to the regular checkout lanes in the future. In this case, a woman brings about 20 items through my lane.)

    Me: “Ma’am, in the future, if you have more than 12 items, please go to one of the regular lanes.”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “No?”

    Customer: “Express is faster.”

    (I just stare at her as she pays for her groceries and leaves.)

    Next Customer: “No shame.”

    Me: “Yeah…”

    Just A (Cast The First) Stone’s Throw Away From A True Christian

    | AL, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Religion

    (I live in the Bible belt of America, where homophobia is the norm. I’m a gay man and was outed by a previous coworker, so now I deal with two or three bigots per week. This takes place an early Sunday morning.)

    Me: “Hello. Did you find everything today?”

    Customer #1: *a bigot who frequents my lane just to insult me* “Everything except a good, god fearing cashier!”

    Me: *scanning items and not paying attention* “Your total is $48.50, sir. Would you like to pay cash or credit?”

    Customer #1: “You’re going to Hell, you know! You and all your godd***** f*****! Pick up a Bible and learn how to be a Christian!”

    (He then proceeds to throw his credit card at me. I check him out while enduring his verbal abuse, as usual. Finally he’s gone to bag his groceries while the next customer comes up. He’s an elderly man, around 60, wearing a sweater and a large prominent cross. I fear the worst but he hands me a gift card.)

    Customer #2: “Bless you, son. I’d like you to have this to make up for those of us who are less then their best.”

    (Customer #1 has heard Customer #2 and starts yelling.)

    Customer #1: “You’re going to Hell for supporting this f**! Learn how to be a good Christian!”

    (Customer #2 removes his sweater to reveals he’s a priest. Customer #1′s eyes widen in shock.)

    Customer #2: “Well, if I’m going to Hell I don’t believe there’s much hope for any of us now, is there?”

    (He was the new pastor for the church and one of his first sermons was on spreading love instead of hate. I thank you, good sir, for reminding me what a real Christian is like.)


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