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    Practice Safe Lunch, Use A Condiment

    | Indiana, USA |

    (A very attractive woman approaches me at my office desk.)

    Customer: “Where can I find the condoms…oh, never mind. I see them.”

    (She walks over, grabs a bottle of ketchup, and checks out.)

    Saving For Savings

    | Charlotte, NC, USA |

    (A customer approaches me as I am trying leave the store after my shift.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, my son has saved over one thousand, two hundred dollars at this store. What does he get?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Don’t you have some kind of rewards program for someone who’s saved that much?”

    Me: “In the past, we’ve done some giveaways, but at the moment, I’m afraid we’re not running any long-term programs like that.”

    Customer: *annoyed* “So he’s saved over twelve hundred dollars here and he doesn’t get anything?”

    Me: “Well, there’s that twelve hundred dollars…”

    (There’s a silence as she just stares at me.)

    Customer: “You should really take better care of your customers.” *walks away*

    No Good Deed Goes Unpunished, Part 2

    | Utah, USA | At The Checkout

    Boss: “Hey, I need to talk to you for a second.”

    Me: “Is there a problem?”

    Boss: “I received a complaint about you from a customer. By our rules we have to pull you aside and tell you.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s the complaint?”

    Boss: “Um, you were too nice.”

    Me: “Come again?”

    Boss: “Apparently, you were trying too hard to be nice and doing your job bagging for her. She got offended by it, so….be more careful, I guess.”

    Me: “Wait, I’m in trouble because I was being too nice?”

    Boss: “Yeah.”

    Me: “This is a new one.”

    Related:
    No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

    Right Next To The Pee Not And Cabinet

    | California, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Do you have any gurtz-demeanor?”

    Me: “Do you mean Gewürztraminer?”

    Customer: “Yeah, gurtz-demeanor!”

    Locally Grown, Organic, Pesticide-Free Love

    | Grocery StoreMcBride, BC, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I’m working in the deli department of the supermarket. A customer approaches me with a container of our fruit salad.)

    Customer: “Hi, I have a question.”

    Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “Did you make the fruit salad?”

    Me: “Yes, I did. We make our fruit salads fresh every morning.”

    Customer: “Did you make it with plenty of love?”

    Me: *laughs*

    Customer: “Is that a yes?”

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