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    No ID, No Idea, Part 7

    | WV, USA |

    (A young man and two young women approach the lane with several bottles of wine. They are carded. The man is old enough to buy, but the girls aren’t.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell to you.”

    Customer: “Why not? I’m over 21!”

    Me: “But they’re not.”

    Customer: “They’re not the ones buying. I am!”

    Me: “Then why did you bring them in with you?”

    Customer: “Because I didn’t know what kind they liked.”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 6
    No ID, No Idea, Part 5
    No ID, No Idea, Part 4
    No ID, No Idea, Part 3
    No ID, No Idea, Part 2
    No ID, No Idea

    Language Skills Are Medi-okra

    | New Orleans, LA, USA |

    (I work as a demo lady.)

    Customer: “What’s this?”

    Me: “Chicken andouille gumbo.”

    Customer: “Wait…what?”

    Me: “Chicken andouille gumbo.”

    Customer: “Are…you speaking English?”

    Bucharettuce

    | Windsor, ON, Canada |

    (I’m ringing through a customer’s order. I put a romaine lettuce through. The customer points out a price error.)

    Customer: “The lettuce is $1.97, not $2.97.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Just to double check–it’s a romaine lettuce you have, right?”

    Customer: “No, it’s USA lettuce.”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “It’s USA lettuce.”

    Me: “Well, it’s from the USA, but it’s called romaine lettuce.”

    Customer: “No, it’s USA lettuce, not Romanian.”

    Your Query Is In Arrears

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    Customer: “Is Ricky the front end supervisor?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Well, he is no good! If Ricky is the front end supervisor, is there a rear end supervisor?”

    Smelling A Bargain

    | CT, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any of the regular fish oil pills?”

    Me: “No, I don’t have those. But we’ve got the odorless pills here.”

    Customer: “Thanks anyway. I really just wanted the regular ones.”

    Me: “Oh, but these are great. They’ve got no odor at all. If you take these, you won’t smell of fish!”

    Customer: “You mean I smell of fish?! Oh my God! I didn’t know! Nobody told me! I don’t believe I smell of fish!”

    Me: “Uh, that’s not what I meant.”

    Customer: “I didn’t know I smell of fish! Oh, this is awful!”

    (The customer opens his phone, dialing.)

    Customer, on phone: “Mom? It’s me. Why didn’t you tell me I smell of fish? Of course I do! The guy at the store just said I need to take the odorless pills because I smell of fish!”

    Me: *head in hands* “No, wait!”

    Customer: “I can’t believe even you didn’t tell me! I feel awful now! How long until it goes away?”


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