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    Supply And Demand For Dummies

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Do have any more [brand name] chicken noodle soup mix?

    (The shelf is empty, so I look around to see if we have any hidden on the shelf.)

    Me: “There is none here. Let me go check the backroom.”

    (I go check and come back a few minutes later)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we do not have any left.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? Who runs out of chicken noodle soup in the middle of winter?”

    Me: “Well, it is the middle of winter…”

    Hard Times Hit Hard

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Top

    (I’m stocking soup when a man approaches me.)

    Customer: “Where’s your bacon bits?”

    Me:*looking up* “Down at the end of this aisle, on the right, at the bottom.”

    Customer: “Hold on…aren’t you [my name]?”

    Me: “Yes. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m [name]! We went to high school together. Wow, you sure must have had it rough, huh?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “Well, you know, all this time and you’re just stocking shelves…”

    Me: “I’m the owner of this and two other stores. I went to business school for years and invested in the stock market.”

    Customer: “Oh! Well, nice to see you again, then…”

    (I found out later that he was a janitor.)

    Now I Help You, Now I Don’t

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada |

    (The customer service desk at the small store I work at is not manned at all times. It’s pretty much just where we store lotto and cigarettes. Most customers realize pretty quickly that they can go to any till to get service. This time I have seen a lady standing there, saying nothing for ten minutes.)

    Me: “Can I help you with anything, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I need to talk to someone in customer service.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have anyone just in customer service, but I can help you with anything you need.”

    Customer: “No! I must speak to someone in customer service.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, that’s not possible. This is a small store, so we all work at the customer service desk.”

    Customer: “I’m not leaving until I speak to someone from customer service.”

    (I go to the back, take my glasses off, put on a hat, and go back, this time behind the desk.)

    Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes, finally! One of your stupid supervisors was saying that–”

    (She sees my nametag, stops, turns red, and leaves.)

    Practice Safe Lunch, Use A Condiment

    | Indiana, USA |

    (A very attractive woman approaches me at my office desk.)

    Customer: “Where can I find the condoms…oh, never mind. I see them.”

    (She walks over, grabs a bottle of ketchup, and checks out.)

    Saving For Savings

    | Charlotte, NC, USA |

    (A customer approaches me as I am trying leave the store after my shift.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, my son has saved over one thousand, two hundred dollars at this store. What does he get?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Don’t you have some kind of rewards program for someone who’s saved that much?”

    Me: “In the past, we’ve done some giveaways, but at the moment, I’m afraid we’re not running any long-term programs like that.”

    Customer: *annoyed* “So he’s saved over twelve hundred dollars here and he doesn’t get anything?”

    Me: “Well, there’s that twelve hundred dollars…”

    (There’s a silence as she just stares at me.)

    Customer: “You should really take better care of your customers.” *walks away*

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