Freak For Yourself, Part 2

| Texas, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(We have a regular who comes in for special sandwiches that are made on Mondays and Fridays only. When she comes in, it’s on a Thursday and the guy who makes them at the deli isn’t there. Instead, it’s a new guy who’s still being trained.)

Customer: “Black and blue with horse sauce on the side.”

(FYI, she wants pumpernickel bread with roast beef, bleu cheese and horseradish sauce on the side.)

New Employee: “Uh, sorry? I don’t know what that is.”

Customer: *annoyed* “I want the black and blue with the horse sauce on the side.

New Employee: “Let me get someone else. I’m new, so I don’t know what that is.”

Customer: “God, are you stupid? I want the black and blue with horse sauce on the side! Is that so freaking hard to understand?

Other Employee: *overhears* “Yes, ma’am, I’ll get that made for you right now. He’s new, so he doesn’t know about our sandwich specialties.”

(Upon hearing this, the customer suddenly turns sweet and smiles.)

Customer: “OH! You’re new? How many days have you been working here?”

New Employee: “Only two days, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, watch out for those crazies. You’re bound to get a few!”

Related:
Freak For Yourself

Someone Needs To Boof-riend Him

| Illinois, USA | Language & Words, Pets & Animals

(A man approaches me while I’m at my register.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “What does ‘boof’ mean?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “‘Boof.’ You guys have a bumper sticker that says ‘boof.'”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have no idea what ‘boof’ means.”

Customer: “The sticker is just dumb. It says, ‘My dog is my ‘boof.'”

Me: “Oh! ‘My dog is my BFF!'”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s what I said.”

Me: “It’s an abbreviation, sir. It means ‘best friends forever.'”

Customer: “Well, that’s dumb. How stupid do you have to be to have a dog as your best friend?!”

No Sense, No Sensitivity, No Service

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bigotry, Top

(I am checking out an older gay couple holding hands, who has been very pleasant, when the customer behind them speaks up.)

Me: “How are you guys doing today?”

Customer #1: “Oh, just great.”

Customer #2: “Hey! Lady!”

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Customer #2: “You’re allowed to refuse to serve people, aren’t you?”

Me: “Um, yes, I can make them go to another line if they cause problems.”

Customer #2: “Well, why are you ringing out these homos?! Kick them out of your line!”

Me: “Um, sir, these men haven’t been causing problems.”

Customer #2: “They’re f***ing f****ts! I can’t believe you’re helping them!” *to the couple* “Get the h*** out of here! She’s refusing to serve you!”

Customer #1: “We’re not doing anything!”

Me: “Please, sir, I have no problem. They’ve been very nice to me. I’m almost done checking them out, anyway.”

Customer #2: “No! No, no, no! I demand that you refuse them service!”

(By now, I’ve finished with the couple’s grocery order.)

Me: “Sir?”

Customer #2: “What?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you’re causing a disturbance. I’m going to have to refuse you service. Please move to another line.”

(He threw a fit and complained to my manager, but the gay couple spoke up in my defense and Customer #2 was banned from the store.)

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Mother Scorned

| Waterbury, CT, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

(We’re not too busy at the grocery store this night, but we still have a decent amount of customers. I have just finished a transaction for Customer #1, a lady no more then 5 feet tall who is carrying a small infant, when I notice that she has left her baby’s bottle on the counter.)

Me: “Oh, Miss! Your baby bottle!”

(My coworker, a young man, picks up the bottle and politely walks the few feet to give it to the woman.)

Customer #1: “Thank you both so much!” *takes the bottle*

(Out of nowhere, Customer #2, a man about 6 feet tall, starts screaming.)

Customer #2: “Why the f*** are you catering to her! You’re a man! She is just a fat lazy b****!”

(My coworker, a few other customers, and I stand in shock. Customer #1, however, calmly puts her grocery bag on the floor, places her infant in my coworker’s arms, and walks right up to Customer #2. With amazing speed, her hand shoots out and grabs his collar bone, and he drops to the floor in obvious pain.)

Customer #1: “You wanna go?! Come on! This fat, lazy b**** will kick your a** all over this d*** store!”

Customer #2: *meekly raises his arms in surrender*

Customer #1: “Smart decision!” *picks up her grocery bag, takes back her baby, and merrily goes on her way*

Related:
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pregnant Woman Scorned

Suddenly At A Loss For Words

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bigotry, Top

(A customer has just called one of our new employees the N-word for not bagging his groceries to his liking. The manager, a 5’4″ blond woman, runs out of the store and begins berating the customer in question.)

Manager: “How dare you call one of my clerks that! What is wrong with you?”

Customer: “F*** YOU, LADY! WHAT THE F*** DO YOU KNOW?!”

(At that moment, the aforementioned bagger’s brothers happen to be walking into the store. Both brothers are at least 6’2″.)

Brother #1: “What’s going on?”

Manager: “This a**hole called your sister the N-word.”

Brother #2: “What?!”

Brother #1: *to the customer* “HOW ‘BOUT YOU SAY THAT TO ME?!

(Seeing that customer run out of a parking lot was the best possible thing to lift our spirits on a busy day!)

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