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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Brand Spankin’ New Employee

    | Richfield, MN, USA | At The Checkout

    (This is my first job. A customer walks up to my register to check out his items. However, my register is malfunctioning and I can not scan more than 15 items.)

    Customer: “Hello there, young’un. Just these for me today.”

    Me: “I do apologize sir, but I cannot scan more than 15 items today.”

    (I turn my head to see if there is another register open when I feel a hard pull on my collar. Suddenly, the customer pulls me over the register.)

    Customer: “I’ll teach you to disrespect your elders!”

    (He starts spanking me with his cane right by my aisle in view of my manager.)

    Manager: “I’d stop this, but it is really entertaining.”

    Young And (Alcohol) Free

    | MI, USA |

    Customer: *holding a bottle of wine* “Are you old enough to sell me this?”

    Me: “Yes, I am.”

    (I reach out to take the bottle, but he refuses to hand it to me.)

    Customer: “Are you sure that you’re old enough?”

    Me: “Yes. I wouldn’t be a cashier otherwise. I’m pretty sure you only have to be eighteen.”

    Customer: “Are you eighteen?”

    Me: “Nineteen, yes. Would you like me to sell you it?”

    (The customer finally releases his hold on the wine. I begin to scan.)

    Customer: “Are you sure you’re allowed to? You look pretty young.”

    Me: “I’m old enough.”

    Customer: “Do I get a discount for calling you young?”

    Peppered With Mistakes

    | Richmond, BC, Canada |

    Customer: “Is that chicken?”

    Me: “No, they are stuffed jalapeños.”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s pork?”

    Me: “No, it’s a stuffed jalapeño.”

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: “A pepper.”

    Customer: “Is that so?”

    (The customer’s husband approaches and sees the stuffed jalapeños.)

    Customer’s husband: “What is that?”

    Me: “Stuffed jalapeños.”

    Customer’s husband: “Oh, so it’s fish?”

    His Argument Will Lose Him Ground

    | Beaverton, OR, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I don’t understand what this sign says.”

    (The customer points to a sign above the organic section. It indicates that all produce needs to be washed thoroughly.)

    Me: “It means that before you eat any product, you should wash it.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Because there might be dirt or other things on the item.”

    Customer: “But these are organic!”

    Me: “Organic means they were grown only with natural substances.”

    Customer: “Dirt isn’t natural!”

    Not Economically Gifted

    | PA, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Customer: “Do you sell gift cards that can be used anywhere?”

    Me: “Do you mean something like a gift card that can be used in a certain mall?”

    Customer: “No. Gift cards that can be used wherever someone wants to use them.”

    Me: “Do you mean money?”

    Customer: “Yes. Just like money…only a gift card.”


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