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    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 5

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Money

    (I work at grocery store that happens to be running a sale on milk. I overhear another customer arguing with his spouse.)

    Man: “Okay. We need a gallon of milk.”

    (He reaches for the gallon jugs that are priced at $3.59.)

    Woman: “Honey, the half gallons are on sale. They’re 10 for $10.00.”

    Man: “That makes no sense.”

    Woman: “Just grab two half gallons.”

    Man: “But that’s more expensive.”

    Woman: “No, they’re 10 for $10, while a gallon is $3.59. We don’t have to buy ten for the discount.”

    Man: “That’s ridiculous.”

    Me: “Look at it this way: You can buy a one gallon jug of milk for $3.59 or two half-gallon jugs for $2.00. It still equals one gallon.”

    Man: *confused*

    (The woman and I just exchange glances and shake our heads.)

    Related:
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 4
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 3
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

    Can Never Have Too Much Can

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout

    Customer: “Why would you do this? You’re an awful person. Why would you think this is acceptable?”

    Me: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “You put seven cans in the same bag! Why would you do that? It’ll be too heavy!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there are only three cans in there, but I can take some out if you would like.”

    Customer: “No! You’ve already ruined my day! Why would you ever do this to me?” *storms off*

    Sweetness Is Infectious

    , | Illinois, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (Our store has a coffee bar that sells pastry items that are made in house and is usually staffed by a barista. The bakery is located directly behind the coffee bar. I am working in the bakery. I hear a strange noise behind me and turn around to find an elderly gentleman standing at the coffee bar jingling his keys to get my attention.)

    Me: “Yes, sir? May I help you?”

    Customer: “What is the difference between these and these?” *points at cupcakes and muffins* “Why is one more expensive than the other?”

    Me: “Those are muffins and those are cupcakes. Cupcakes have more expensive ingredients and take more time to make; that’s why they cost more.”

    Customer: “But what’s the difference between a muffin and cupcake?”

    Me: “Cupcakes have icing and are generally sweeter.”

    Customer: “Why do they all have icing on them? Don’t you know there’s a diabetes epidemic! Sugar is dangerous!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t make the cupcakes; I’m one of the bread bakers. If you have questions, the pastry bakers are here in the afternoon.”

    Customer: “Why is there sugar in everything!? Don’t you know that sugar is bad for you?!”

    Me: “I don’t make the pastry items, sir. The pastry bakers are here in the afternoon if you’d like to call and ask questions.”

    Customer: “Diabetes is everywhere! You shouldn’t put icing on everything! It’s dangerous!” *walks away*

    Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Points

    | Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout

    (A customer approaches my register with a few items. While talking loudly with her friend, she smiles at me briefly, but does not acknowledge me through the rest of the transaction. She is speaking loudly and popping her gum.)

    Me: “Did you find everything all right?”

    Customer: *nods at me and continues talking*

    Me: “Would you like to use a [savings] card today?”

    Customer: *continues talking on the phone*

    Me: “Did you have any coupons today?”

    Customer: *completely ignoring me at this point*

    Me: “If you don’t have any coupons, your total will be [$$]. Are you using cash or card today?”

    Customer: *turns and slides her card*

    (I prompt through the card and wait a few seconds to see if she will sign the screen.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, you need to sign the screen to verify your purchase.”

    Customer: “Well, okay.” *signs screen and keeps talking to her friend*

    (The receipt prints and I hand the customer her bag and the receipt.)

    Me: “Have a nice day!”

    (I continue to the next customer, who is actually acknowledging me and talking to me. Meanwhile, the previous customer has finally stopped talking with her friend and is reading receipt.)

    Customer: “Wait a minute! I had coupons for these! Why didn’t I get a discount? And I have a [savings] card! Why didn’t I get any points?”

    Me: “Excuse me, but I asked if you have any coupons and you didn’t answer. I’m sorry…if you go up to customer service they can give you a refund and get you your points.”

    Customer: *getting angry* “But I had the coupons in my hand! You should’ve seen them and taken them! Now I have to go to customer service because of you! This is bulls***!” *storms off*

    Current customer: “I don’t think she deserves a refund!”

    Fake It ‘Til You Make It

    | Hackney, London, UK |

    Customer: “Hey, do you work here?”

    Me: “Yes, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Where is the pasta?”

    Me: “I’ll show you…it’s this way.”

    (He follows me to the correct aisle. As we approach, I see another girl in the aisle.)

    Customer: “S***, that’s my ex! Quick, pretend you’re my new girl!”

    Me: *surprised* “Wha—”

    (The customer grabs me, puts his arm round me, and practically drags me over to the girl.)

    Customer: *to ex* “Yea, I got a new girl. I’m over you.”

    Ex: “Um, okay? Great.” *walks away shaking her head*

    Customer: *to me* “So, since you’re my girl, do I get to use your staff discount now?”

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