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    Skimmed Milk, Skimmed Brain

    | Toronto, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Excuse me, I need 2% milk.”

    Me: “Yes, it’s just right there on the shelf behind you.”

    Customer: “No, not that. That’s the 2% PARTLY SKIMMED milk. I want just the regular 2% milk.”

    Me: “Oh, but all 2% milk is partly skimmed. That’s what it means.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? I don’t want that light stuff. I want just regular 2% milk.”

    Me: “All 2% milk is partly skimmed. That’s what is means.”

    Customer: “No! I buy regular 2% milk all the time at [competitor].”

    Me: “Well, you probably just never noticed the label before, but I’m sure if you do, you’ll see it says partly skimmed.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe they don’t have regular 2% milk here. What kind of grocery store is this?!”

    Forever Seeing Conspiracies

    | Arvada, CO, USA | Bizarre

    (I work at the customer service desk of a grocery store. A small old woman approaches the desk.)

    Me: “Hi, there! What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “I need some stamps.”

    Me: “Would you like a book of 20 or a different amount?”

    Customer: “A book.”

    (I pull out the book of stamps and lay them in front of her as I ring in the order.)

    Customer: “Are those the forever stamps?”

    Me: “All we carry are the forever stamps.”

    Customer: “This design was created to support Al Qaeda!”

    (I look at the stamps, and what do I see? An American flag with Lady Liberty’s face on them.)

    I Think We’ve Found The Grinch

    | Stayton, OR, USA | Bizarre

    (I am a courtesy clerk and volunteered to work on Christmas. While getting the carts from the parking lot, a man who is in his mid-20s is exiting to the store.)

    Me: “Happy holidays, sir.”

    Customer: *turns his head, flashes an evil grin, laughs maniacally, and continues walking to the car*

    Coworker: “I’m scared for you.”

    On Our Side For Once

    | New York, NY, USA | Crazy Requests

    (A customer left her shopping cart in front of my register. Another customer is walking up before I can move it. This is a huge pet peeve of mine.)

    Customer: “Did they leave that there so I would trip?”

    Me: “No, she left it because she was lazy.”

    Customer: *completely seriously* “You’re so nice!”

    Me: “Thank you?”

    Customer: “You’re just as nice as everyone else who works here. Do they only hire nice people here?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, they try to only hire nice people here.”

    Customer: “Well, you tell your manager to start hiring some rude people!”

    Me: “Excuse me, Sir?”

    Customer: “Yes! Hire some rude people! Keep us on our toes!”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll let someone know.”

    Supply And Demand For Dummies

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Do have any more [brand name] chicken noodle soup mix?

    (The shelf is empty, so I look around to see if we have any hidden on the shelf.)

    Me: “There is none here. Let me go check the backroom.”

    (I go check and come back a few minutes later)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we do not have any left.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? Who runs out of chicken noodle soup in the middle of winter?”

    Me: “Well, it is the middle of winter…”


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