Prank You Very Much! Happy April Fools’ Day, readers! This week, we share five stories that show the foolish hazards of pulling a fast one!
- Impractical Jokes:
Guys, take note: a fake stabbing to freak out your wife might result in a real stabbing—by your wife!
- Bohemian Nobody:
Customer, oo-oo-oo-ooh // Didn’t mean to make you cry // If you’re not back again this time tomorrow // Go away, go away // Your pranks don’t really matter…
- Prankin’ Like It’s 1929:
This elderly caller’s prank is probably older than your grandparents, but he proves laughter IS the best medicine—especially when it’s at your expense!
- Your Prank Got Spanked, Part 2:
A caller learns the hard way that if you’re gonna prank an employee, at least be original!
- Morbid Curiosity Killed The Cat:
Note to prank callers: your cat is NOT a get-out-of-jail-free card!
PS: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!
(I’m a cashier at a grocery store and a customer comes in to return an item.)
Me: “Yes, ma’am how can I help you today?”
Customer: “Yes, I need to return these mushrooms.”
Me: “Okay, ma’am, was there something wrong with them?”
Customer: “Yes, they’re a fungus!”
Me: “Oh, they have something growing on them?”
Customer: “No! They are a fungus. I’m not eating any fungus!”
(I am behind the bakery counter and a woman goes to the bread wall and picks up a loaf of clearly marked “Whole Wheat Italian 5 Grain” bread that happens to be covered in seeds.)
Customer: *brings loaf to me* “Is this chocolate bread?”
Me: “Um, excuse me?”
Customer: “Is this chocolate bread? It’s a dark brown color like chocolate.”
Me: “It’s ‘Whole Wheat Italian 5 Grain’ bread. It’s labeled right here.” *shows her the label*
Customer: “Okay, as long as it’s not chocolate bread. My husband is on a diet and cannot have chocolate!”
(I work at the cake section of our store. A customer is asking me what some of the cake labels mean. Then, we get to the marble cake.)
Customer: “What does ‘marble cake’ mean?”
Me: “It’s vanilla cake with chocolate cake swirled into it.”
Customer: “Does it taste different?”
Me: “No, it’s just vanilla and chocolate”
Customer: “But it’s swirled. Don’t the swirls taste different?”
(I work at grocery store that happens to be running a sale on milk. I overhear another customer arguing with his spouse.)
Man: “Okay. We need a gallon of milk.”
(He reaches for the gallon jugs that are priced at $3.59.)
Woman: “Honey, the half gallons are on sale. They’re 10 for $10.00.”
Man: “That makes no sense.”
Woman: “Just grab two half gallons.”
Man: “But that’s more expensive.”
Woman: “No, they’re 10 for $10, while a gallon is $3.59. We don’t have to buy ten for the discount.”
Man: “That’s ridiculous.”
Me: “Look at it this way: You can buy a one gallon jug of milk for $3.59 or two half-gallon jugs for $2.00. It still equals one gallon.”
(The woman and I just exchange glances and shake our heads.)
Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 4
Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 3
Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2
Some Things Just Don’t Add Up