A Time Sheet To Every Purpose

| MN, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a large grocery store in the bakery department in a town that gets a lot of tourists. I am leaving the bathroom when I am met by a customer.)

Customer: “Oh, good. You are here to clean the bathrooms. They really need to be done.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t clean the bathrooms. If you would like, I could get someone from maintenance to clean them for you.”

Customer: “No. You work here in this store. You clean the bathrooms.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I work in the bakery department. I don’t clean the bathrooms, but I can get someone who does it to clean them for you.”

Customer: “No, you should. You work here. You clean them.”

Me: “Ma’am, what do you do for work?”

Customer: “I’m an accountant.” *looks rather proud of herself*

Me: “Do you clean the bathrooms there?”

Customer: *scoffs and walks off in a huff*

She Has A Real Problem

| FL, USA | Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am at my regular grocery store at the checkout. The bagger is a sweet man with a mental disability, who is carefully bagging my items.)

Bagger: “You want this one?”

(He holds up one of my canvas bags, which I see has a hole in it.)

Me: “No, use another. Thanks.”

Woman behind me: “God! Hurry it up!”

Me: “I just finished paying. He’s fine.”

Woman behind me: “Oh, so you’re slow like him too? God all you special people need to stop interfering with normal people.”

Bagger: *looks offended* “Ma’am, she’s not not-smart. She goes to [University].” *points to my university logo on my sweatpants* “She’s real smart.”

Me: “And he’s the best bagger here! He’s very careful, ma’am, which is a good thing with groceries.”

(My bags are done. Since he knows I walk back to my dorm, the bagger just hands them to me and helps me shoulder them.)

Woman behind me: “God, he won’t even help you take them to your car? What a delinquent. I want to see a manager about this!”

Me: “I walk, lady. You want to call a manager over something I have intentionally asked him to do many times?”

Bagger: *to me* “Have a nice day!”

Woman behind me: “Retard.”

(The cashier, who hasn’t said a word through the whole thing, looks at the woman calmly.)

Cashier: “Refusal of service for massive discrimination towards a valued employee, as well as a regular customer. You may leave your items here; we’ll shelve them later. Please leave.”

(She instead decides to cause a massive disturbance, eventually breaking a shelf, and needing to be physically restrained while the bagger leads me and another customer behind the cigarette counter for our safety. We have to wait for a cop to come.)

Bagger: “Still… coming next week?” *he looks worried*

Me: “Yep.”

(His smile made me really happy for the rest of the day.)

An Extra Bag Of Hot Air

| Helsinki, Finland | At The Checkout, Top

(I’m serving a customer at the register, with items well into a triple digit total. He’s staring at the price display like a hawk. Even though there’s no line, I’m scanning as fast as I can.)

Customer: “I think you charged me three bags.”

(I look and see that one of the two carrier bags he had had indeed scanned twice. I void the extra bag.)

Me: “Oops, sorry about that!”

Customer: “There really should be a training program for you people.”

Me: “I’ve been trained for this, sir.”

Customer: “Well sure as s*** doesn’t look like it. How hard could it possibly be to scan each item once and only once?”

Me: “It happens. I fixed it, as you can see from the display.”

Customer: “But you’ve wasted my time with your incompetence!”

(My manager is walking by, sees the commotion, and approaches.)

Customer: “You really should be fired. I don’t think it’s too much to f***ing ask for you people to do your jobs properly. Perhaps if you had paid attention in school and not fooled around all the time, you wouldn’t be doing this s*** now. Moron!”

Me: “I apologize for the error.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not really good enough, s***head! This happens every time! The only reason I don’t go to the other store across the street is because they’re even more f***ing idiotic over there!”

Me: “I’ve corrected the mistake now. You will only pay for the items you’re actually buying.”

Customer: “But how the f*** can I be sure of that now?! I only get the f***ing receipt after I’ve paid! I’m left trusting potheads and morons like you to handle this s*** properly, but I guess you can’t even do that! Un-f***ing-believable!”

(At this point, my manager comes over and speaks up.)

Manager: “You make an excellent point, sir. I will fire this employee immediately, and your purchases today are free of charge.”

Customer: “Really?!”

Manager: “No. F*** off!”

(With that, my manager closes my register and motions me to follow him. We leave for break, leaving the customer standing there, stunned.)

Bags Of Laughs

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

(It’s been a long night, with a higher than average number of annoying customers. A couple comes through the till.)

Wife: “Oh, no. Don’t put the chips with the pop! It’ll get crushed.”

Husband: “Geez, don’t put the chips with the bread.”

Wife: “Oh, and keep the pickles away from the cans.”

Husband: “Can you double bag everything?”

(I finally sort through their numerous demands, they pay and leave. The next customer and last in line is buying just a few things, and has listened to the previous conversation.)

Customer: “Oh… can you put the bacon in a separate bag from the chips and pop?”

(I do.)

Customer: “Oh, and can you separate the chips and pop?”

(I do.)

Customer: “Can you double bag everything? It’s all pretty heavy, you know.”

(I stare, not sure if he’s serious.)

Customer: “And, can you put the receipt in a separate bag?”

(I smile at this point, and he laughs; it’s clear he was just joking. Everything goes in one bag. From this point on, ‘put the receipt in a separate bag’ becomes a euphemism for anyone making a series of ridiculous requests.)

Stamping Out Equality

| Traverse City, MI, USA | Bigotry

(I am working a slow late night at the service counter. A snobbish woman comes up for some stamps.)

Customer: “I would like a book of forever stamps.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. That’s $9.00.” *hands woman stamps*

Customer: *looking disappointed* “Is this the only design you got?”

Me: “Yes, is there a problem with this design?”

Customer: “Yes, these quotes on them… I don’t like the fact that say equality. I don’t believe in equality.” *walks away*

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