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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Plan A And Plan B

    | Yorktown, VA, USA | At The Checkout

    (I’m a cashier working the night shift. It’s about 9:30 pm when a couple comes to my register.)

    Me: “Hey, how are you guys tonight?”

    Woman: “We’re just fine, thanks.”

    (I start ringing up their things.)

    Man: “We’re also gonna need–”

    Man and woman: *glance at each other* “A pregnancy test.”

    Man: “Also, the two pack deal on [cigarettes].”

    (Thinking I’ve misheard the last part, I go get the test, ring it through, and finish ringing up their groceries.)

    Woman: “Oh, you forgot the [cigarettes].”

    Me: “Right. The cigarettes. Well, here you go.”

    Please, Say No More

    | Houston, TX, USA | Rude & Risque

    (An older man, maybe late 50s with graying hair, approaches my register with a few groceries. Despite his age, he is very absorbed in his cell phone and paying little attention to what is going on around him.)

    Me: “Hi! How are you today, sir?”

    Customer: *giggles* “I’m doing exceptionally naughty things on my phone right now!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s lovely! Do you have any coupons with us today?”

    Customer: *leans in and whispers* “In the colloquial, that means I’m sexting!”

    Related:
    Too Much Information, Part 6
    Way, Way, Way Too Much Information
    Way, Way Too Much Information
    Way Too Much Information
    TMI Redux
    TMI (Too Much Information)

    Water You, Stupid, Part 2

    | Feasterville, PA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am a floral associate at a grocery store. It’s a very hot day and I am outside watering the outdoor plants we have on sale.)

    Customer: *storms up to me* “What the f*** do you think you’re doing?!”

    Me: “Excuse me?” *still watering*

    Customer: “Are you f***ing stupid or something?”

    Me: “No, why would you say that?”

    Customer: “You’re watering those things. Only a f***ing idiot would do that!”

    Me: “Ma’am, these plants need water. It’s very hot out today and we can’t let them die.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m right. You are a f***ing idiot. Everyone knows plants make their own water!”

    Me: *speechless*

    (The customer then storms off to her car and nearly hits another car in her rush to leave.)

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid

    How About A Pound Of Cherries For A Pound Of Money

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    Customer: “How much are the cherries?”

    Me: “$3.49 a pound.”

    Customer: “Okay. Well, I have a pound. How much is it?”

    Me: “$3.49.”

    Customer: “Why? Shouldn’t it be less?”

    Me: “It’s $3.49 a pound. You have a pound, so it’s $3.49.”

    Customer: “No, that doesn’t make sense. Just take them off!”

    Common Courtesies: Not For Commoners

    | California, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (I am a cashier at a locally owned grocery store that is frequented by families. A dad comes in with two sons. The younger one puts a drink in the front of their order.)

    Kid: “Don’t put this in a bag.”

    Dad: “Hey! You could at least say ‘please’!”

    Kid: “Dad, you don’t say ‘please’ to clerks, only to people! I learned it in my lesson yesterday!”


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