Carting Her Off To Justice

| Woodinville, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

(I am shopping at a popular grocery and am in the long line to check out. I notice a cart nearby with a kid. It starts rolling into a shelf. I grab it before any damage is done.)

Me: “Hey, whose cart is this with the kid?”

(I see a woman at the meat department with a phone, talking away. I believe she has a purse that matches the coat on the cart.)

Me: “Ma’am your kid almost rolled into—”

(She waves me off and continues talking on the phone. I sigh, reposition the cart, then get back into the line.)

Customer In Front: “Stupid woman, leaving her kid to roll off to God knows where.”

Me: “I hope the phone call is worth the—”

(I notice the cart rolling again, so I stop it. This time, the woman notices.)

Woman: “What are you doing to my kid you… you… kidnapper!?”

Me: “I was stopping the cart.”

Woman: *snatches the cart from me* “Stay away from my baby.”

Customer In Front: *laughs* “Well, least she paying attention now.”

(The woman continues glaring at me. A few minutes pass, and the customer in front is done being checked out. However, I’m surprised when the woman and two cops approach me.)

Woman: *points to me* “There he is, the kidnapper!”

Officer #1: *to me* “Alright bub, let’s go.”

Officer #2: *getting cuffs out* “I got him.”

Customer In Front: “Woah, officers! Stop! You haven’t even heard his story!”

Woman: “He tried to kidnap my baby! That’s the story!”

(The two officers talk to people in the line about what happened, and are eventually convinced about my side of the story.)

Officer #1: “Ma’am, please put your hands on the counter.”

Woman: “What! What for? I’m not a kidnapper! I refuse!”

Officer #2: “Please work with us, not against us.”

Woman: “Arrest that man for kidnapping!”

Officer #2: “Ma’am, you are under arrest for abandoning a minor, and for endangering a minor. We will contact your husband or a relative at the station to get your child.”

Woman: “I’m innocent! He was kidnapping!” *she screams all the way out*

Extremely Opinion-hated

| Springfield, MO, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Theme Of The Month

(I am on WIC (Woman, Infants and Children) support. My husband and I are having some hard times due to the fact it has been extremely difficult for me to find work. WIC covers some of the more expensive items on our food list. I’m in the store with my two-year-old daughter. There is also this older couple who are the rudest couple I have ever encountered. They are going around having something to say, loudly, about everyone they walk by. The older couple walks past a girl with maroon coloring in her hair.)

Rude Wife: “Oh god, what a rebellious b****! I bet her parents are real proud.”

(Next they come up on a young man in a hoodie, with his earphones from his iPod in. He has in his cart things to make a good dinner, but they are unimpressed.)

Rude Husband:, “Well that boy is just an immature thug with his loud music in his ears.”

(This whole time, I am being silent as they may just be having a bad day, until they get behind me in the bread aisle.)

Rude Husband: *to me* “Get out of the way!”

Rude Wife: “Yes, I really wish she would just pick out her welfare bread and get gone!”

(Thankfully, at this point another older lady speaks up.)

Older Lady: “Honey, she has WIC; it’s very different from welfare. Also, did you think that maybe this young woman has that because she is down on her luck and needs it?”

Me: *to the older lady* “Thank you!”

This Round He Lost (In Translation)

| New York, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month

(I’m from the UK and have a surprisingly posh accent. Whilst studying in America, I’ve become somewhat competent in several languages including French, German, Mandarin and Welsh. A rather rude customer arrives at my checkout where I work and has been openly mocking my colleagues during his time in the store.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. How might I be of service?”

Customer: “Oh, look! This one reckons he’s some posh c***.”

Me: *ignoring the remark and still smiling* “Can a scan through those items for you?”

(The customer drops the basket on one of my hands, laughing as I wince in pain.)

Customer: “You’re all a bunch of failures and drop-outs. Bet you barely even know English properly.”

Me: “Sir, I was born in Manchester, England.”

Customer: “Whatever, you fake c***.”

(At this point the customer begins to swear slowly, and with a smile on his face, in French and German)

Customer: “See, I’ve got a real education. I speak two different languages fluently and I’m not stuck in some dead end s***-hole.”

(I finish scanning through his items, and he pays with cash.)

Me: *flawless French* “My pardon, sir, but you’re short 50 cents.” switching to German* “Do you have correct change?” *switching to Welsh* “If not you may need to return some of these items or pay using a different method.”

(The customer stares blankly for a few seconds, he then demands I repeat myself. I do, this time in English explaining that I’m translating the French, German and Welsh I just spoke. Once he seems to understand this, he sheepishly pays via debit and rushes off, nearly forgetting his bag.)

Me: *in French again* “Sir, don’t forget your purchase!”

Attack Of The Killer Tomato Customers

| South Tampa, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I am cashiering on the first express lane with one of our new hires on the second express lane. I’m cashing out a customer when I hear an outburst from the new girl’s line.)

Customer: “What are you doing?! Don’t touch my tomatoes! Leave them in the bag!”

New Cashier: *turns around, looks at me* “Help me, please?”

Me: *walks over* “Good afternoon, sir. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought these tomatoes, and she is taking them out of the bag and ringing them up separately! I want them rung up together!”

Me: “Well, sir, it looks like you bought 3 different tomato varieties.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Each variety is a different price per pound. To keep our inventory counts accurate, we have to weigh and ring these up separately.”

Customer: “I don’t want you touching my tomatoes!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it is store policy.”

Customer: “I want to see a manager!”

Me: “Sure.”

(I flag down a supervisor, who is female.)

Supervisor: “What can I do for you, sir?”

Customer: “No! I want to talk to a manager!”

Supervisor: “I assure you, I’m a manager.”

Customer: “No! A man!”

Supervisor: *sighs* “I’ll be right back.”

(She returns with the store manager, who is male. He walks off with the now-livid customer.)

New Cashier: “Did he really pitch a fit over tomatoes?”

Me: “Yep. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he got them for free now.”

New Cashier: “No way.”

(15 minutes later, the supervisor returns.)

Supervisor: “Well, [store manager] just gave our angry customer his tomatoes for free.”

New Cashier: “What!?”

Me: “I told you!”

App-ology

| Houston, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

Customer: *to friend* “I wish there were some kind of app that could tell you where stuff is in a specific store.”

Me: “What was it you were looking for?”

Customer’s Friend: “Oh! Soda?”

Me: “Soda’s on aisle 10.”

Customer’s Friend: “Ha, I guess she’s the app!”

Me: “Just call me Siri!”

Customer: *suddenly very sour* “Well, I could, but that would be stupid.”

Me: “Heh, yeah, I guess.”

(I proceeded to go on about my business, and put the exchange out of my mind. A couple weeks later, the same customer comes back.)

Customer: “Hey, last time I was here, you helped me out and I was kind of rude to you. I just wanted to let you know I didn’t even realize it until my friend told me I was being a jacka**, and I’m sorry.”

(I thanked him and told him he was forgiven. If only all rude customers had friends like that!)

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