Grocery Store | Seminole, FL, USA
(I was a cashier at a local grocery store one summer. At 9 o clock every night, it was the bagboy’s duty to clean the store…which included vacuuming the rugs in front of the automatic doors. One night, about 8-8:30, an elderly lady comes in and sits by the doors.)
Me: “Hello! How are you tonight, do you need any assistance?”
Lady: “No, I’m fine, I’m just going to sit here.”
Me: “Okay, then.”
(She sits there until about 9 o clock until a bagboy comes out with a vacuum cleaner…he proceeds to do his job.)
Lady: “AAAH!!! What is that? What is that horrible noise? I can’t take it! I can’t take it!” *Walks up to the bagboy* “What are you doing? Stop it! Stop it!”
Bagboy: “I’m just vacuuming the rugs…”
Lady: “Stop it! I can’t take this noise! Why are you doing this?!”
Me and the other cashiers: “…”
(She goes back to sit down and doesn’t leave until late. Our managers come out and forbid the bagboys from vacuuming while she is there. She then proceeds for a couple more times that week to come in at 8 o’clock and if some bagboy even brought out the vacuum cleaner, unaware of who she is, they get an earful about the horrible noise that afflicts her.)
Grocery Store | Bellingham, WA, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how may I direct your call?”
Lady: “Can I get your Orient kitchen?”
(I put her on hold, page the kitchen. 30 seconds later, the phone rings.)
Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how may I direct your call?”
Same lady: “Yeah, I was holding for the Orient kitchen, I think I got disconnected.”
Me: “Just a sec.”
(I put her on hold again, page the kitchen again. 30 seconds later, phone rings again.)
Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how may I direct your call?”
Same lady: “You keep hanging up on me! Every time I call for the kitchen, you hang up on me.”
Me: “Ma’am, I am putting you on hold.”
Lady: “No, you keep hanging up on me. You say hold and then there’s silence.”
Me: “If I was hanging up on you, you would hear a dial tone. The silence is you being on hold. So if you wait a minute, I will get the kitchen for you.”
Lady: “Okay.”
Me: “Now, there is going to be silence. This isn’t me hanging up on you. You are being put on hold. Just wait and someone will pick up the phone. ”
Lady: “Thank you.”
(I put her on hold and turn to see my co-workers laughing at me behind my back. I question the state of humanity.)
Grocery Store Deli Counter | Philadelphia, PA, USA
Me: “Hi there ma’am, what can I get for you today?”
Customer, with her young son: “Yeah, could I have a piece of that bologna so my son can taste it?”
Me: “Sure, would you like to try it too?”
Customer: “Oh no thanks. I just want to see if my son is allergic.”
Me: “…”
Grocery Store | Salem, NH, USA
(I’m working at the cigarette counter. I wear glasses–this is critical.)
Me: “How can I help you today?”
(Customer is clearly not from this country and speaks in broken English with a thick accent.)
Customer: “Glasses!” *points at my face* “Glasses!”
Me: “You like my glasses?”
Customer: “No glasses. No glasses!”
Me: “You don’t like my glasses.”
Customer: “Not you. No glasses.”
Me: “Not me? No glasses? You want someone without glasses?”
Customer: “Yes. No glasses!”
(I look over at another cashier and a nearby register who heard everything and have her switch with me. Meanwhile everyone around us is cracking up laughing.)
Grocery Store | Old Bridge, NJ, USA
Customer: “I’d like to return these ice pops.”
Me: “Ok, I just need to see your receipt.”
(I take the box of ice pops.)
Me: “…this is an empty box!”
Customer: “Well, we ate them. Some of them taste good, but some of them had a weird taste, so we threw them out.”
Me: “I can’t give you money back on something you already ate.”
Customer: “Why are you so difficult?! I’m never shopping here again!”
Grocery Store | Bellingham, WA, USA
(Referring to the payment terminal)
Customer: “It’s not working. Whats wrong with it?”
Me: “What does it say?”
Customer: “It says, ‘Please slide card again’.”
Me: “Well, then slide your card again.”
Customer: “Oh, okay.”
(She slides her card. It works.)
Customer: “Hey it worked!”
Grocery Store | Colorado, USA
Customer: “Do you have burrito wrappers?”
Me: “Do you mean tortillas?”
Customer: “Well I guess you could call them that.”
Grocery Store | Kansas, USA
(A customer comes to the bakery and asks me if we sell some ointment.)
Me: “Sorry, but we don’t sell that here.”
Customer: “Where can I get it?”
Me: “I would suggest one of the local pharmacies.” *I name a few, including B & J’s Pharmacy*
Customer: “Is B & J’s Pharmacy…a pharmacy?”
Me: “Yes…”
Deli | Michigan, USA
Customer: “I’d like 5 pork chops, wrapped in twos.”
Me: “Do you mean two packages?”
Customer: “No, I want 5 pork chops, wrapped in twos.”
Me: *blank stare*
Customer: *heavy sigh* “5 chops, wrapped 2, 2 and 1. See, wrapped in twos.”
Grocery Store | Boston, MA, USA
(I begin to ring up a customer’s purchases at the register)
Customer: “Wait! When you ring up the bagged bulk items don’t put them on the part the laser shines through. Weigh them on the metal, please.”
Me: “Is it a problem if I scan everything else?”
Customer: “No, it’s just that the bags are clear and the laser gives you cancer.”
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