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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Paging All Psychics To Aisle Three

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Themed Giveaway

    Customer: “Hey! I need help finding a product.”

    Me: “What are you looking for?”

    Customer: “I saw it on a commercial and know your store sells it.”

    Me: “Is it a beverage, food, or cleaner? Can you describe it or what kind of package it came in or the color of the package?”

    Customer: “I have no idea, but I know your store sells it and I want it now!”

    Makes You Want To Hit The Bottle

    | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Themed Giveaway

    (I am bagging groceries for an elderly woman.)

    Customer: “Now, don’t forget to pack those bags light, young man. I can’t carry like I used to.”

    Me: “Of course, ma’am. No problem.”

    (I have packed all her groceries in plastic bags, handing her each one over the counter.)

    Customer: “Young man! This bag is way too heavy! Please repack this.”

    (I look inside. There is a single two-liter bottle of soda in there.)

    Me: “Um, ma’am, I can’t split a bottle of—”

    Customer: “Just do it!”

    (I shrug, take the bottle out of the plastic bag, put it in another identical plastic bag, and hand it back to her.)

    Customer: “Ah, see? That’s much better. Why couldn’t you do that the first time?”

    A Bad Hair Day

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (It is Christmas Eve. I have just finished a very difficult 13-hour shift, with a 2-hour commute to the small town I live just outside of. I am picking up milk. My hair is cropped short, and though I am very skinny, my uniform is shapeless except for the back brace I am wearing. As I get in line, a very drunk customer behind me turns to another customer.)

    Drunk Customer: “Can you believe this [lesbian slur]? Look at her! She can at least clean herself up before coming into our town! What a fat useless c***! She’s wearing a d*** girdle! Ha! That fat will melt right off when she goes to Hell!”

    (The drunk customer continues berating the way I look, and throwing insults over his shoulder. Finally I have had enough. I set my milk on the conveyor belt and spin around to face the man.)

    Me: “Let’s get a few things straight! First, this is a back brace, not a girdle! I wear it because I was born with a deformed pelvis and spine, and I can very easily paralyze myself with improper body mechanics. Secondly, I have been with my MALE fiancé for five years. But at least you are right about one thing. I would look a h*** of a lot better with my hair long. I used to have long, beautiful, full curls. So beautiful, in fact, my six-year-old niece would cry every time I visited her because she lost all of her hair when she started chemo for her leukemia. So for Christmas, I cut off all of my long feminine curls and have had them made into a wig so she doesn’t have to feel ugly when she goes to school. I just thank God she lives two towns over, because after what you’ve said about me, I can’t imagine what you and the rest of the people here like you would say to a sad, sick little girl!”

    (The next time I went back to pick up a few things, the manager approached me. It turned out the entire staff had donated to my niece’s cancer treatment!)

    Self Checkout Is Soul Destroying

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Technology, Top

    (I am working the control center for the self checkouts when I overhear a customer having a conversation with the self checkout machine.)

    Self Checkout: “Are you using your own bags?”

    Customer: “NO. I’M USING THE SOULS OF SMALL CHILDREN. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?!”

    Self Checkout: “Please place the item in the bagging area.”

    Just Checking

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (An older customer comes through my line. She is paying with a check, and the register tells me to check her ID.)

    Me: “May I please see your ID?”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t have one.”

    Me: “…you don’t have an ID?”

    Customer: “Well, I have a driver’s license. Is that an ID?”


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