November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Very Slow Burn

| Victoria, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I am working in a large grocery store on a busy Saturday. Each till has at least eight people in line, and I can’t even see the end of the queue. I am scanning items as quickly as I possibly can and have not made any mistakes. My next customer is a lady with two overflowing carts of groceries, so I greet her and start scanning her items at my usual pace.)

Customer: “SLOW DOWN!”

Me: *startled* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “SLOW DOWN! I don’t like it when you scan my items so quickly.”

(I double check her bill but see no mistakes.)

Customer: “And I like to watch you scan every item so don’t touch another thing until I’m done unloading!”

(The line up is still quite long behind her, and she has barely unloaded any items onto the belt. No amount of reasoning will convince her to let me start scanning her items until she has unloaded each product, one by one.)

Me: *resumes scanning*

Customer: “I said not so fast! Do I have to report you to your manager?”

(In the end I had to scan her items at a snail’s pace, several people change queues, and when she finally pays and leaves she’s still muttering about reporting me to my manager.)

Next Customer: “Please scan my items as quickly as you’d like. I don’t mind!”

Credited With Having No Children

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Technology

Me: “Enter your PIN, sir.”

(He does, and then removes card straight away, not waiting for the machine.)

Me: “Sir, it looks like you pulled out early—”

Customer: “Story of my life! It’s why I don’t have kids.”

(The next customer and I burst out laughing.)

Getting Sour Over The Sauerkraut

, | GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(Our spicy mustard is clearly labeled spicy mustard, and I generally clarify, when someone asks for deli mustard, that they want the spicy and not something else. No one has EVER had a problem with this. Our reuben sandwiches – which are half size, even for a “whole” – are also premade except for a little cup of sauerkraut and thousand island, which is also premade.)

Customer: “I want two reubens.”

Me: *looking for the kits underneath the sub station*

Customer: “Oh, and I want one half turkey.”

Me: “We can’t split meats, and the reubens aren’t very big to start with.”

(I put one on top of the station.)

Customer: “That’s not what I want! I want it on the foot long roll!”

Me: “Sure, we can do that.”

(I verify with the manager that we’d charge as a special order, instead of the reuben. It actually ends up cheaper.)

Customer: “Actually, I want one of them turkey.”

(I slice the meats, get her bread, and start with mayo or mustard as the usual, which is not standard on a reuben.)

Customer: “Mayo on the roast beef, mustard on the turkey.”

Me: *reaching for the yellow mustard, about to squeeze it on* “I’m sorry, did you want a roast beef instead?”

Customer: “Deli mustard! No, I want corn beef!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Spicy mustard? And we have corned beef here. I thought you said roast beef.”

Customer: “Well, everywhere else calls it deli mustard.”

Me: “Sure miss, I understand. Our label just says spicy mustard, see? I just want to make sure I get the right thing on your sandwich. Sauerkraut and thousand island?”

Customer: “Yes, a lot of sauerkraut and a little dressing. On the reuben, not the turkey.”

(Unwilling to make another comment that might upset her, I use the sauerkraut dressing kits on the reuben, and go to toast both sandwiches.)

Customer: “You didn’t put the sauerkraut on the turkey!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I thought you said you didn’t want any on the turkey?” *I get the kits and put it on the turkey as well*

Customer: “We don’t seem to be communicating very well. You got very upset that I called the deli mustard ‘deli mustard’ and insisted I call it spicy mustard and even shoved it in my face! And you didn’t hear me say about the sauerkraut!”

(Note at this time, she’s changed her mind half a dozen times on bread, cheese, meats, mayo/ mustard, and now the sauerkraut but she seems completely unaware that she keep changing her mind, and clearly believes everything is my fault for not knowing what she meant when she says something different.)

Me: “My deepest apologies, ma’am. I’m sorry I’m just a bit confused. You changed your mind a few times so I want to make sure I get your order right.” *I get the sandwiches out and take them to the veggie station* “What would you like?”

(At this point, we go through a dozen veggies, where I keep having to clarify both sandwiches, or which sandwich, and she’ll tell me to put something on that I’ve already put on, almost like she can’t see it at all, even though she is staring intently at it.)

Customer: *at the end, I’m about to wrap it up* “You didn’t put thousand island on it!”

Customer #2: “Hey, is there someone else that can help me! I’ve been waiting here forever!”

Me: *to the first customer* “Yes, I did, ma’am, it was mixed in with the sauerkraut kits I put on earlier.” *to Customer #2* “Miss, we all have customers right now but we will be with you as soon as we can.”

Customer: *mumbles* “Well, I didn’t want the dressing.”

Customer #2: *glares*

Me: “The sauerkraut kits were premade and out of my control. That’s what comes on a reuben sandwich, and you said you wanted dressing earlier and just asked me why I didn’t put it on.”

(I wrapped up the totally disgusting looking reuben and turkey/sauerkraut with loads of veggies sandwiches  before she can mutter another word, and I hit the button for the more expensive brand and hand them off. She glared at me, opened her mouth and started complaining that they weren’t labeled reubens (which at that point, they weren’t). I heard her yelling about it to the air as I helped Customer #2, who as it turned out just wanted something for the self-serve hot case, but apparently didn’t notice the lack of glass front. I went around to the back and promptly burst into tears at getting yelled at over spicy mustard.)

Canola Or Can’tola

| Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I work in something of a high end grocery store as a cashier. Most of our customers are great but every once in a while I come across one who thinks we aren’t high end enough. As part of my job I always try to ask the customers if they found everything they were looking for, and if not to then help them get it when that’s possible. A woman walks up to check out with a couple of items.)

Me: “Hi there! You find everything all right?”

Customer: “No, actually. I was disappointed you don’t have rapeseed oil. I really figured you would and I need it for a recipe. I think I’m going to have to go to a specialty store to get it now.”

Me: “You know, I could be wrong, but I think canola oil is another name for rapeseed oil. If you want I could page our grocery section to double check and see if we have any?”

Customer: *as though I don’t know what I’m talking about* “No, no, no, I don’t think so. I’ll just go to a specialty store.”

Me: “Are you sure? Because I’m pretty sure companies avoid calling it rapeseed oil because of what it sounds like. I think most use another name and I think it’s canola oil.”

Customer: “Yes, I’m sure!”

Me: “All right, well, have a good day and I hope you find it!”

(I looked it up later and I was right. Canola oil is another name for rapeseed oil. We definitely sell canola oil at our store.)

Can’t Put A Price On A Priceless Reaction

| OR, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I work in a small store, all of our pricing is done with pricing guns that print stickers to the product. We have six+ different pricers, and occasionally mistakes are made, the same item ends up with two different prices, etc;)

Customer: “Look! These are the same thing, one is $1.25, one is $1.50! Why is that!?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Sometimes things get mis-marked by mistake. But the correct price is $1.25.”

Customer: “I don’t want any, just wanted to know WHY they were different!”

Manager: “Well we have several different pricers. Sometimes they just go off of memory or forget the latest update. I’m sorry for any confusion.”

Customer: “Ah, thank you! I think some of them need to go back to kindergarten, yeah?” *laughing, he gestures towards me*

Manager: *without laughing, stares, unmoving at the customer…*

Customer: *slowly stops laughing, gets uncomfortable and leaves*