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    To Conjugate A Thief

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

    (Although I don’t look like it, I am fluent in Japanese and Korean. I am working at a register, checking out a Japanese family that is buying snacks.)

    Father: *in Japanese* “Son, when the cashier isn’t looking, put the candy bars in your pockets so we don’t have to pay for them.”

    (Hearing this, I add the candy bars to the purchase. The family pays and leaves. Two minutes later, the father returns.)

    Father: “Why did you charge me for four candy bars?! I didn’t buy any candy bars! You just charged me to make extra money! I want to see your manager!”

    Me: *in Japanese* “Maybe you should come up with your plans to steal 89 cent candy bars BEFORE you come up to the register.”

    (The father was stunned. He apologized and left embarrassed.)

    Your Mood Speaks Volumes

    | Berlin, VT, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (A customer obviously having a bad day comes through my line. She throws her stuff down on the belt.)

    Me: “Did you find everything—”

    Customer: “JUST DO YOUR JOB!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    (I give her the total, and she all but throws her money at me and rips her change out of my hand.)

    Customer: “TOOK LONG ENOUGH!”

    Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

    (The next day, the same customer comes through my line. I greet her and start putting her items through.)

    Customer: “Look, I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I was having a bad day and had no right to treat you that way.”

    Me: “That’s alright, ma—”

    Customer: “NO! IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT ALRIGHT!”

    We Love To See You Smile

    | North Carolina, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am having a terrible day at work, and haven’t smiled once. I have just finished ringing up an older couple’s order.)

    Me: “Have a good day.”

    Older Customer: “Do you have any paper?”

    (I give the customer some receipt paper. He gets a pen, quickly scribbles something on the paper, and hands it to me.)

    Older Customer: “Everyone deserves to smile.”

    (The customer then walked away. I looked at it and he had drawn me a flower. I still have it. :) )

    This Sale Has No Future

    | Bensalem, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Time

    (Note: It is a Sunday afternoon.)

    Customer: “How much is a bag of mussels?”

    Me: “They’re $2.99.”

    Customer: “Are they on sale?”

    Me: “Yes, they are.”

    Customer: “How long are they going to be on sale?”

    Me: “They’re on sale until Saturday.”

    Customer: “So, do you mean next Saturday, or yesterday?”

    Do As I Say, Not As I Don’t Say

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout

    (I’m cashing when an elderly customer comes to the till.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: *mumbles*

    Me: “Do you have a rewards card today?”

    Customer: *waves his hand indicating no*

    Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

    Customer: “Look, just stop asking questions. That’s what they do at [competitor], not here!”

    (I’m a bit shocked, but I put his groceries through the till in silence.)

    Me: “That’ll be [price].”

    Customer: *says nothing while he uses his debit card*

    Me: “Have a good night.”

    Customer: “It would be better if you weren’t so rude. You need to try and interact more with customers!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    Do As I Say, Not As I Say

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