November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

How To Deflate The Bag

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

(I work in the produce section of a grocery store. I have just witnessed a customer pretty much destroy our bagged-salad section. The customer is just pulling bags out of their holders and dropping them where ever, and quite obviously on purpose. The customer has no idea I’ve been watching her. After she stops her destruction, I head over to put it back together. The customer comes back, and starts a conversation.)

Customer: “It’s just a shame that someone would do that to you! I can’t believe some people!”

Me: “Bah, it’s not really a big deal.”

Customer: “…not really a big deal?”

Me: “No, not at all. I look at it this way: If a customer has to get their kicks by coming into this grocery store and trying to get a rise out of the employees by messing up a portion of the store, then that customer’s life is obviously more pathetic than mine.”

Customer: *open mouthed stare*

Me: “So, was there anything else you needed tonight?”

Customer: “No… thanks…”

Scamming In Full Bloom

| Bolton, England, UK | Liars & Scammers

(I am a supervisor working a 10-hour shift on the hottest day of the year. As it is the evening shift, there are only two of us on. I have sent my colleague on her break so I am at the till.)

Customer: “Can I speak to the manager please?”

Me: “Both the Store Manager and Team Manager aren’t here, but I am the supervisor if you have any problems.”

Customer: “Well I bought some flowers yesterday. They were for a friend who has cancer. When I got home I noticed they were in terrible condition. Probably caused by the heat.”

Me: “Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, do you have the flowers with you?”

Customer: “No. I threw them out.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry; I can’t do anything without either of those two things. How much did they cost?”

Customer: “£10.”

(I find this odd, because we only sell £10 flowers during occasions like Mother’s Day or Christmas.)

Me: “Well, there is nothing I can do without the proof of purchase and the product itself. I need to be able to scan the product to refund it. I can’t just give you £10 out of my till.”

Customer: *patronizing tone* “Look, sweetie, you don’t really know how retail works. If a product is bad, you get a refund. You probably became a supervisor by sucking your way up the food chain. Now give me my money, or I’ll call head office on you!”

Me: “Please don’t say things like that. And by all means, call them! They will tell you exactly the same thing I’m telling you. They’ll also tell you that the flowers in question haven’t been sold at this store for nearly two months.”

Customer: “Listen here, you little piece of—”

(My coworker returns from break.)

Coworker: “What’s going on here?”

Me: “I was just about to give this gentleman this phone so he can ring head office, and tell them what a terrible cashier and supervisor I am. Also, out of curiosity, what time did you buy these supposed flowers yesterday?”

Customer: “I bought them yesterday afternoon!”

Me: “[Coworker], did you sell flowers that we don’t even stock that cost £10 to this man yesterday?”

Coworker: “Nope!”

Me: “Neither did I. And since we are the only two people on after midday, I think I’ll call the police.”

(I had no intention of calling the police, but the customer bolted out all the same. Instead, I called all the company stores in the area and told them to watch out for him. It turned out he had already caught out a young impressionable Saturday worker. Eventually, I heard the police caught up with him!)

No Produce Reduce

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(The customer in question is our grocery store’s former produce manager. She was encouraged to ‘retire’, because she was caught raising the prices of the produce so her sales would be better. She has a return and a few items, so I do her return and scan her items to balance out the difference in which she only owes me one cent.)

Me: “Okay, your total is one cent.”

Customer: “That’s not right. The onions are ringing up wrong.”

(I look at my screen, and the onions she bought were ringing up 68 cents a pound.)

Me: “They’re only 68 cents.”

Customer: “They are supposed to be 99 cents a pound! That’s what the sign says.”

Me: “Those are for large onions. You bought medium ones.”

Customer: “Well… I guess I’ll take them for that price, but your new produce manager needs to learn how to price things right.”

(She storms out in a huff, and my manager walks over.)

Manager: “Did she just… want to pay the higher price?”

Me: “Yes… and while you’re here, I’m reaching into my pocket to get the penny that she forgot to pay me for her stuff.”

In Line And Out Of Line

| Durban, South Africa | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money, Top

(I’m in line to pay. Customer #1 in front of me is about in his 40s, and very well-dressed in a suit and tie. Customer #2 in front of him seems to be a single mother with her child. I’m 25, and pretty shabbily dressed; wearing only faded jeans, an old, novelty Star Wars shirt, and have my long hair almost covering my eyes.)

Customer #1: “Lady, can you hurry up! Some people are important and actually have places to be!”

(Customer #2 is fumbling with her money. In her cart she only has basic groceries and what appears to be a birthday cake for her child. She mumbles something about not having enough money, and decides to leave the cake behind.)

Customer #1: “Don’t waste everyone’s time if you can’t even pay for your s***! Or maybe you need another government handout that comes from my taxes?!”

(At this point, I feel like I’ve got to step in.)

Me: “Hey man, that’s enough!”

Customer #1: “Who do you think you are? I’ll have you know I’m the [high profile position] at [large shipping company], and no one ever talks to me like that.”

(Suddenly, I become much more respectful.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir. I had no idea you were so important. Would you mind if I asked you for your business card?”

(Customer #1 smugly hands me his card. I see he is, indeed, who he says he is.)

Me: “And here’s my business card.”

Customer #1: “Why the h*** would I want your—”

(Customer #1 suddenly goes pale, as he notices that I am co-owner of [large shipping company].)

Me: “Now that I know your name, I’ll be sure to phone your supervisor to ensure you’re put on probation. One more act like this and you’re fired.”

(Customer #1 stammers for a bit, before practically running from the store. I end up paying for the mother’s cake, and even gave them a bit extra to buy the kid any toy from the store.)

They Should Have Stolen Some Intelligence

| CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Top

(Three shoplifters run out of the store with a bunch of liquor. Our Loss Prevention agent has been watching them, and manages to catch the one holding most of the liquor, but the other two get away. Later in the night, the police come. One officer goes upstairs with the shoplifter, while the other takes quick statements from us. Suddenly, the two other shoplifters who had run off earlier came back inside.)

Shoplifter: “Hey, is our friend still here?”

(I quickly look at the cop right behind me.)

Me: “Uh, yeah, he’s upstairs.”

Shoplifter: “Sweet, can one of you guys go upstairs to get him or something? He has our pot.”

(The cop and I share an incredulous look, while the two shoplifters just stand there.)

Cop: “I think you’re gonna need to come with me.”

(The officer took the shoplifters upstairs, where they were all arrested for possession.)