• A Pain In The Nugget
    (1,372 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Man, What A Woman

    | MI, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m female, but due to my height, my short hair cut, and our gender neutral uniforms, I’m often mistaken as male.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

    Me: *turns around* “Yes, sir?”

    Customer: *blinks* “Oh, I’m sorry! I thought you were a man! Well, I mean, it’s not that you look masculine. Not that you look weak either! You’re very beautiful. I just saw short hair and a ball cap. Not that girls can’t wear ball caps! Or have short hair! I like short hair on women. It’s very nice! I mean, ah, your hair is. Some women can’t pull it off. I like your eyes!”

    (The customer turns red and I am trying not to laugh.)

    Me: “Thank you very much, sir. Can I slice you some lunch meat?”

    Customer: “Yes. And then just toss it in the hole I tried to dig myself out of, would you?”

    Me: “Not a problem. We cater to stranger requests.”

    (As the customer is leaving, he gives me a very large smile.)

    Customer: “You know something? You really ARE quite beautiful. Have a nice day!”

    (I did have a nice day, and all because of him!)

    Animal-Hating, Manner-less And Bigoted, Oh My

    | NV, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m helping a couple of regulars with finding ingredients for a new recipe. One of them is blind, and has his guide dog with him. Another customer stomps up to us while I am showing them different spices.)

    Customer #1: “Excuse me! I need your help.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, but you’ll have to wait until I’m done helping these gentlemen.”

    Customer #1: “No, I need help now!”

    Me: “Then if you’d like, I can call one of my coworkers over and they can help you.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t want you to call someone else.”

    Me: “Then you will have to wait.”

    (I turn back to the regulars. The rude customer shoves her way between me and them, stepping on the guide dog’s tail in the process. The dog gives a shrill yelp.)

    Me: “Ma’am, please! You could have seriously hurt his dog!”

    (Customer #1 shoves the dog aside with her foot.)

    Customer #1: “I’m the customer! You have to serve me!”

    Regular Customer: “Miss, she has explained to you that she’s busy, and has offered to call someone else to help you. Don’t shout at her, and please don’t abuse my husband’s guide dog.”

    (Customer #1 turns to him. The regular customer has an obvious Italian accent, but he isn’t difficult to understand.)

    Customer #1: “Get out of here, you d*** foreigner! Don’t come back until you learn some f****** English!”

    Me: “Ma’am, he is speaking perfect English. Now if you don’t calm down, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    (Customer #1 shoves me. I lose my balance, and fall. Immediately, the regular customer, who is a well-known boxer in the local area and quite strong, literally picks up customer #1 and carries her out of the store. She screams profanities and slurs at him the whole way. His partner helps me up, and I pay for their spices myself. I also get the guide dog a large steak bone, for when she is out of her harness. The best part? We found out later that the rude customer was wanted for armed robbery, and that she was arrested that day!)

    Self-Scanning And Self-Aware

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout

    (My fiancé and I are at the self-service checkout at the grocery store. We scan our one item, and we get an error message. I try again, but still get the same error message. An employee comes up to us to help out.)

    Employee: “Can I help you?”

    Me: “Yes, thank you! Every time I scan my item, I keep getting this error message.”

    Employee: “Oh! You have to scan your store card.”

    Me: “I will, but I can’t get past this error.”

    Employee: “No, sorry, you have to scan your store card first.”

    (The employee scans the store card, then our item, and it works.)

    Me: “Thanks! I never would’ve figured that out!”

    Fiancé: *to me* “They should put up a sign, or something.”

    (The employee gestures to the TWO signs in front of us that explain all store cards need to be scanned first.)

    Me: “Oh, my God! After years of not working in retail, I’ve turned into one of those customers.”

    Employee: “Oh, it’s okay. You didn’t blame me for it, so you’re still a step ahead!”

    A Sweet For The Not-So-Sweet Old Lady

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (I am a cashier in a grocery store that has a basket of free suckers at each register. They’re supposed to be for kids, but every now and then an adult will ask for one. We usually don’t mind. An elderly customer and her middle-aged daughter come through my checkout lane.)

    Elderly Customer: “Oooh, suckers! Are they free? I want a sucker!”

    Daughter: “No, those are for kids.”

    Elderly Customer: “I. WANT. A. SUCKER!”

    Daughter: “No, mom, they’re for little kids. You’re not a little kid, are you?”

    Elderly Customer: “YES I AM! NOW GET ME A GOD-D*** SUCKER, B****!”

    (I just hand the elderly customer the basket, and back away slowly.)

    His Magnetic Personality Won The Day

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Health & Body, Love/Romance, Top

    (I am an African-American male. When I was 13, I was in a car accident that has left me with a little bit of a limp since. I have two metal rods in my leg from the accident. An elderly customer comes into my lane for checkout.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you today ma’am? Did you find everything you were looking for?”

    Elderly Customer: “Actually, I couldn’t find this brownie mix.”

    (The customer shows me a coupon for the mix.)

    Me: “Oh, I can get that for you! Just a moment!”

    (I start to walk away. My limp is showing, as it always is. I hear the woman speak up from behind me.)

    Elderly Customer: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Elderly Customer: “I know that you guys like to walk like that, but could you hurry? I’m in a bit of a rush!”

    Me: “What do you mean, ma’am?”

    Elderly Customer: “The way you young lazy n****** walk these days. I’m surprised your pants are even up!”

    (Now I get what she’s saying, and I feel I should show her something. We keep fridge-magnets for sale near the checkout. I call out to a nearby coworker)

    Me: “Hey, [coworker], can you toss me a magnet?”

    (My coworker tosses ones to me, and I stick the magnet to my leg.)

    Me: “My mother and I were hit by a drunk driver when I was 13 years old. I am lucky I can even walk, since my leg is held together by metal rods.”

    (The customer is now screaming incoherently; the only words that could be made out are racial slurs and shrieking. My manager walks up.)

    Manager: “Excuse me, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store immediately. You cannot speak to my employees like that.”

    Elderly Customer: “Fine! I don’t care! I wouldn’t buy anything any n***** touched anyway!”

    (The customer continues screaming the whole way out, slowly being drowned out by people cheering her out. When I look at who has been behind her in the line the whole time, I see the girl from the coffee shop next door. I have had a little crush on her for a while. She says that was the most amazing thing she has ever seen, and asks me out!)

    Page 46/130First...4445464748...Last