Common Sense Has Checked Out

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I finish a customer’s order, and they ask for a pen so they can write a check.)

Me: “Oh, sure. But you don’t need to fill it out.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(The customer continues to write the check.)

Me: “You can just fill out the information you need, but you don’t need to fill out the check. You can leave it blank if you’d like to.”

Customer: “What’s the date today?”

Me: “It’s the 30th, but you don’t need to write it down, unless you need to.”

(The customer completely fills out the check. I run the check, and when the transaction’s complete, I give the customer her receipt and check back.)

Me: “There you are. Have a great night!”

Customer: *looking at the check in her hand* “Oh, you didn’t need this?”

Me: “Nope, it’s run electronically.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you say anything!?”

Some Customers Are A Blessing

| AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Religion

(I am a cashier, helping a customer. She sneezes.)

Me: “Bless you!”

Customer: “Are you a priest?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Are you a priest?”

Me: “Um… no. I am a cashier at the moment.”

Customer: “Well, then you have no right to bless me!”

Me: “Okay… my apologies?”

About To Get A Slice Of Life

| ON, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to get this cake, please.” *points at one*

Me: “Sure, would you like anything written on it?”

Customer: “Yeah, can you put ‘Happy Birthday Daddy’?”

Me: “Daddy?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

Me: “Sure, just one second.”

(I get my icing bags.)

Me: “Okay, so that was ‘Happy Birthday Daddy’?”

Customer: “Actually… could you just put ‘Happy Birthday Tom’?”

Me: “‘Tom’?”

Customer: “Yeah…” *pauses* “…I’ll tell him eventually.”

(My heart melts. I don’t know how to react, so I just write on her cake and send her on her way. I never did find out how things turned out for that woman, but I wish her all the best.)

Shaming Special On The Pre-Wedding Aisle

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I am in a grocery store with my two-year-old nephew. I am 22, and wearing my engagement ring.)

Other Customer: “Hey, you!”

Me: “Me?”

Other Customer: “Yeah, you. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Me: “What?”

Other Customer: “It’s bad enough that teenagers like you seem to think you can just sleep with people. Then you have kids and try to act like you could raise them!”

Me: He’s—”

Other Customer: “It’s things like this that show me that you have absolutely no respect for this country! The entire country is going down the tubes. It’s appalling to think that you would ever even consider having a child outside of wedlock.”

(An employee comes into the aisle to stock things, but overhearing the other customer’s comments speaks up in my defense.)

Employee: “Hey, are you going to even let her talk? She doesn’t have to, but I think she’s entitled to respond to the things you’re saying.”

Other Customer: “You keep out of this. There is nothing she can say to make it any better.”

Me: “Actually, there is. One, this is my nephew. Two, I’m 22, which means if he were my child, I would have been twenty when he was born. Third, his parents are married and have been since before he was even conceived. Fourth, before you start flying off about unmarried people, you may want to check their ring hand.” *I hold up my hand* “I’m engaged, but you couldn’t know I wasn’t married. Fifth, even if I was 17, and this was my child, and I wasn’t married, why would it be any of your business?”

(The customer doesn’t say anything, and slowly walks away. I turn to the employee.)

Me: “Thanks.”

Employee: “No problem. That actually turned out as well as it possibly could have. I was mostly saying it so you could just say, ‘None of your business’. It’s even better that none of the things that she was accusing you of were true.”

I Yam Not Impressed

| New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Customer: “Don’t put the apples in the bag with the potatoes! They’ll get bruised!”

Me: “The apples are in top, ma’am.They won’t get bruised.”

Customer: “But the potatoes are heavy; they’ll bruise the apples! Geez, don’t you know anything!?”

(I put the apples in a separate bag. I’m careful not to put anything in with the potatoes, as they might get bruised. The other bags are pretty full, and the last item is a bag of loose lettuce.)

Me: “Would you like this in a separate bag?”

Customer: “No, that can go on top of the potatoes. There’s plenty of space.”

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