Customer: “Something isn’t right with these two signs about the pears on sale. One says $1.00 for 1 pound, and the other says $10 for 10 pounds. Which is it?”
Me: “Actually, ma’am, that’s the same thing.”
Customer: “Excuse me, but I actually went to college. I think I can do basic math.”
Me: “Let’s look at it this way. If it’s $1 for 1 pound, how much would 3 pounds be?”
Customer: “$3.”
Me: “Yep, and how much would 5 pounds be?”
Customer: “$5.”
Me: “Awesome. How much would 10 pounds be?”
Customer: “$10.” *pause* “Those signs are misleading!” *storms off*
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3,539 Thumbs Up!)
(I’m a customer at a grocery store. We’re in a snow storm and people have gone mad in preparation, buying most of the bread, eggs, and milk.)
Customer: *inches from the cashier’s face* “MILK AND BREAD! MILK AND BREAD!”
Cashier: *stunned*
Customer: “I bet all the customers were like that today, huh? All those crazy people buying up all that stuff! But not me, I’m not crazy!” *walks away*
Cashier: *nervously laughs while looking at me wide-eyed*
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1,864 Thumbs Up!)
(We’ve just recently switched to a new system where receipts are optional.)
Me: “…and would you like a receipt today?”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “We’re now only printing receipts if you’d like one, in order to save paper. Would you like a receipt?”
Customer: “Of course I want my receipt! You know, it’s young punks like you who do all your online banking who are responsible for 9-11! You should be ashamed of yourself!”
Related:
Our Great Dumbocracy, Part 2
Our Great Dumbocracy
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1,602 Thumbs Up!)
(I’m a merchandiser working one of the stores on my route. A customer approaches me.)
Customer: “White wine!”
Me: “You want a white wine?”
Customer: “White wine!”
Me: “Okay, sir. How about this one?”
(I hold out a bottle of Chardonnay.)
Customer: “That’s yellow. I want white wine.”
Me: “Okay. How about a White Zinfandel?”
Customer: “That’s pink. White wine!”
Me: “Okay, how about this?”
(I hold out a bottle of Pinot Grigio.)
Customer: “That’s clear. I want white!”
Me: “Sir, these are all white wines I’m showing you.”
Customer: “I want a white wine!”
Me: “Sir, these are white wines. ”
Customer: “That one’s yellow. That one’s pink. That one’s clear. I want white wine!”
(This went on for another ten minutes until his friend showed up. Turns out he wanted a yellow Chardonnay.)
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1,763 Thumbs Up!)
(I am at a sample station of apple cider.)
Customer: “Oh, apple cider!”
Me: “Yes, ma’am. Would you like to try some?”
(At this point the customer picks up the bottle.)
Customer: “Oh, it’s not from concentrate. That means I can try some! I’m allergic to apples, you know.”
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1,347 Thumbs Up!)
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