I had just finished playing a few hours of “Demon’s Souls” when my Min Pin [Miniature Pinscher] started to beg for some attention. It was around 3:00 pm, so she was probably hungry. I grabbed my keys and drove a few blocks to my local [Supermarket Chain]. I just needed puppy food and a bottle of Tapatio hot sauce to complete my shopping for today.

I grabbed the puppy food first and then headed for my hot sauce. As luck would have it, there was only one left, but it was on the top shelf, and in the back corner. I’m 5’10”, and I have a pretty good reach, but this one was a bit too far for me. I looked around for an employee but could not find one. I decided to just hang tight and simply ask a normal customer who was tall if they would not mind lending me a hand. The first guy who walked by my area happened to be tall, and I decided to ask for help.

Me: “Hi. Sorry to bother you—”

Guy: *Cutting me off* “I don’t work here.”

Me: “Sorry, I know you don’t work here. I was just wondering if you would be so kind as to lend me a hand. You are taller than me, and I am not able to reach a bottle. Would you be able to assist me?”

I figured that if I told him I understood that he was not an employee and that I was simply asking for a quick hand from another human being, he might be cool with it. Wrong.

Guy: *In the d****iest way possible* “H*** no.”

Me: “Okay, no worries. Thank you.”

I figured he was under no obligation to help me, so don’t be rude, and don’t say anything else.

The next time a person walked by, I asked the same question, and they said sure, no sweat, and handed me the bottle. I thanked them for the help, and off I went to pay for everything.

The fifteen-items-or-less line was long, so it took me a bit to get out of the store. When I got to my car, the tall guy from before was struggling to open the trunk of his car and not drop all his groceries; he had tried to carry a bunch of bags in both arms and also carry a few boxes on top, using his chin to hold them down. He was a few moments away from toppling over and losing his eggs and fruit bag when he noticed someone nearby — me.

Guy: “Quick, I’m about to lose my grip! Please help.”

I stopped. I am guessing he knew what was coming from his expression.

Me: “I don’t work here”

I unlocked my car, and as I was getting in, I heard something hit the ground and the guy started yelling something. I don’t know what he said because I was too busy not giving a single F about that p***k. I did see in my rearview mirror that his eggs were splattered on the ground, and some fruit was rolling away under some nearby cars.

You don’t want to help a person? That’s fine; just don’t expect help in return.

Related:
Turnabout Is Fair Play

I work in the front checkouts of a grocery store. We’re required to ask all the customers who come to the checkouts if they’ve found everything they need. Many people take the opportunity to joke about how they couldn’t find, for example, a winning lottery ticket or a bag of cash, but this is one exchange that still stands out in my mind.

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “I couldn’t find inner peace.”

I actually had to pause for a moment because I was not expecting such a philosophical conversation at a cash register.

I wake up with some really bad flu-like symptoms. I don’t have to work until tonight but I know I’m going to have a rough day, so I call in.

Manager: “No. Unless you’re dying, you’re coming in.”

Me: “You can hear me coughing, right? You want me to work a checkout like this?”

Manager: “You come in tonight or you don’t come in at all.”

As much as I wanted to tell him to shove it, I was young at the time, and I didn’t know any better. I tried my best to sleep through the rest of the day and drink lots of water, but somehow by the time I get into work I am feeling even worse.

I feverishly start scanning a customer’s groceries and have a violent coughing fit over her produce.

Customer: “What are you doing! You ruined my greens! You shouldn’t come into work so sick!”

I am coughing too much to talk, so I press the ‘call manager’ button. The manager who demanded my presence is still here!

Manager: “What’s the issue here.”

Me: *Between coughs.* “This customer… would like an explanation… as to why I came into work so sick.”

I make sure I stare pointedly at him as I get the words out. He glares at me, but he knows however he spins it he is going to look an idiot.

Manager: *To the customer, laughing nervously.* “I guess our staff love working here so much, they can’t stay away!” *To me.* “[My Name], go home and don’t come back until you feel better.”

Me: “Gladly!” 

I let that pr*ck tackle the explanation while I grabbed my coat, clocked out, and took a week off to recovery. I went to the doctor to get a note and he gave me another week for good measure.

When I was back at work my manager wasn’t around. He was off with the flu…

A large regional grocery store chain owns convenience stores that have gas pumps. The chain has loyalty cards that allow you to get a few cents off at the pumps. And, if you buy other company gift cards at the grocery store, you get points for additional savings — up to a dollar a gallon for up to thirty-five gallons.

I often bought gift cards for restaurants where my wife and I regularly ate for the gas points and paid for the meals with the cards. I was saving quite a bit on gas.

The first time my wife and I both drove to our local [Convenience Store] to get gas, I pulled up on one side of the pump and she on the other side. I filled my truck with about twenty gallons and proceeded to insert the nozzle into her car.

A clerk came running out to the pump yelling at us.

Clerk: “You can only fill one vehicle with points!”

Me: “Where does it say that on the pumps, the marquee, or anywhere on the building?”

Clerk: “Well, that’s the rule. You can’t fill another vehicle at the same time.”

Me: “Unless you can show me where it says that, get out of my face.”

Clerk: “I will call the police.”

Me: “Do it.”

He went back inside. The police never came. We kept doing that same format until the grocery chain eventually sold off their convenience stores and the loyalty cards no longer worked.

It was good while it lasted.

I always have this ridiculous idea that, when I go to a store, it truly is just to get a few things. I refuse to get a cart and use only my reusable shopping bag to put my things in. 

As usual, I fill up my bag, and I have three or four items in my arms, including one heavy item. I get in a short line to check out. The woman in front of me has put her items on the conveyor belt, and the person in front of her is still working through their order. The woman turns to look at me and then offers to let me go in front of her. I’m not in a hurry at all, so I decline.

Customer: “No, really! Get in front of me. I don’t mind. You only have a few things.”

Me: “No, really, it’s fine.”

Customer: “No, I insist!”

Me: “I don’t think I can fit in front. It’s fine, it’s not a long line.”

Customer: “No, really!”

She pushes her items back a bit on the conveyor belt to leave a small space clear for me.

At this point, it’s easier just to go along with her kind intentions. The problem is that I have a full bag plus the few items in my arms, and the little space she’s cleared is nowhere near enough for my stuff. I awkwardly try to squeeze in front of her and then even more awkwardly try to stack up my fifteen or so items in the eight-inch gap she’s left me.

Customer: “Oh… I didn’t realize you had all that.”

Me: “That’s why I kept saying no.”

I shrugged and carried on. No sense in trying to squeeze back behind her now! I ended up handing the cashier items directly from my bag since there was not enough space on the belt.

I was so glad to get out of there! I know she was trying to be kind, but just accept the “No, thank you”!