November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Searched Pole To Pole

| IL, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am working at the front desk at a local grocery store when a woman who is known for being difficult walks in. I say ‘good morning’ to her only to be ignored. I go back to what I was doing and about a minute later the woman is back at the front desk banging her hand on the counter.)

Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Woman: “Where are your dried tomatoes? I have spent over twenty minutes looking all over this store and can’t find them!”

Me: “They are very easy to find. Go to aisle three, look for the big support pole in the middle of the isle, they are right across from the red fire extinguisher.”

Woman: “Come show me; I’ve looked EVERYWHERE in this store.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I am alone here right now. My coworker is on break. Let me find one of the stockers to help.”

Woman: “Never mind! I’ll find them myself…. Aisle three?”

Me: “Right, aisle three; look for the support pole.”

(She disappears for a couple of minutes, but returns empty handed and starts banging her hand on the counter again.)

Woman: “I looked EVERYWHERE and couldn’t find them! You should be ashamed you don’t know your store better!”

(By this time my coworker returned from break.)

Me: “Let me show you where they are, ma’am.”

(We walk to aisle three.)

Me: *I point up* “Aisle three.” *point to the fire extinguisher* “Red fire extinguisher on the big support pole.” *and point to the dried tomatoes* “Take your pick, ma’am.”

Woman: “This pole wasn’t here a minute ago!”

Closed Down Compassion

| OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work at a grocery store that was bought out by an out of state chain. After only three months, they decide to close almost half of the newly acquired stores. Everyone at my store is on edge and very emotional.)

Customer: “How dare you!”

Coworker: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “How dare you close this store? It’s the only one downtown; I won’t be able to shop.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, everyone that works here is upset about the situation. We had nothing to do with the—”

Customer: *interrupting* “I don’t care. You can’t close the store. Where will I shop?”

(My coworker starts sobbing.)

Me: *stepping in* “Listen. The employees here had nothing to do with this. The store managers had nothing to do with this. WE. ARE. ALL. LOSING. OUR. JOBS! I’m sure you’ll recover from the great inconvenience of having to drive an extra mile and a half, but everyone here is facing unemployment. Please consider that, and have a nice day.”

Doesn’t Have A Liquor Sense

| Northampton, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(I work in a grocery store with a liquor store attached. You can pay for groceries in the liquor store, but alcohol can only be purchased in the liquor store. A customer comes up with a bottle of liquor.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you have to pay for that in the liquor store.”

Customer: “What?! Why?”

Me: “Even though the two stores are connected, the liquor license only applies to the liquor store.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Can’t you just sell it to me?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, the register won’t let it go through. And anyway, I’m only 17 so it would be illegal for me to sell you this.”

Customer: “You know, you’d think that with the technology we have we’d have figured this out by now!”

Me: “Well, it’s not really a technological issue. It’s against the law…”

Customer: “The customer is always right!”

Cash Back Flack

| New Orleans, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I am a cashier at a local grocery store. When paying with a debit card, customers can choose to get cash back from their checking account.)

Customer: *absent-mindedly clicks through the buttons on the electronic payment keypad*

Me: “All right, here’s your $50 cash back.”

Customer: “What? I didn’t ask for that!”

Me: “You did, ma’am. You were asked if you wanted cash back, pressed yes, then the $50 amount.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t! I just kept pressing ‘yes!'”

Me: “Well, the “yes” button on the first screen becomes the “yes” button for cash back, then the $50 button for the amount. It’s an easy mistake to make if you’re just pressing it over and over.”

(I am still attempting to hand her the $50 she pulled out.)

Customer: “Well, I don’t want that!”

Me: “I HAVE to give it to you, ma’am. It’s your money from your account. I can’t keep it.”

Customer: “Well, just put it back in my account!”

Me: “That’s not how cash back works…”

A Third Of The Way To A Breakdown

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(The current sale on a certain brand of pizzas is three for $10, making the sale price for each $3.33. A customer comes through the line with two pizzas.)

Customer: “I know the sign says three for $10, but I only want to buy two of these pizzas.”

Me: “That’s fine; they ring up at the sale price no matter how many you buy.”

(I scan one pizza and show him that it rings up as $3.33.)

Customer: “NO! You don’t understand; I want the SALE PRICE.”

Me: “$3.33 is the sale price.”

Customer: “No, it’s not!”

(I’m beginning to have a line, so I pull out a calculator to show the math.)

Me: “It is, sir. Look. Ten divided by three is 3.33.”


Next Customer: “I do.”

(The first customer refused to believe me, saying that he’d pay for them just this once. He also said he’d be informing a manager about the wrong sale price. Needless to say, I did not get in trouble.)