October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

A License For Understanding

| Bothell, WA, USA | Awesome Customers

(I’m the customer in this story. I’ve recently moved to a new state and applied to transfer my driver’s license. As such I’m having to use a temporary paper license until my new one is mailed to me.)

Cashier: *seeing I have a bottle of wine among my purchases* “Sir, can I see your ID for the alcohol?”

Me: “Sure.” *shows him the temporary license I have*

Cashier: “Umm, sir, that’s no good on its own. I need to see your old license, too, if you have it.”

Me: “Really? Umm… can I quickly dash out to my car and grab it? I’ll only be a moment.”

Cashier: *eyes me suspiciously* “You actually have it in your car? Not playing me here?”

Me: “Nope, swear to God. I have my old license right out in my car. If you can put my stuff aside I promise I’ll be right back.”

Cashier: *still suspicious* “Okay.”

(I run out, grab my old driver’s license, and run back inside. I join the back of the line at the cashier’s register, but upon seeing me he does a double take and gestures for me to come to the bagging area.)

Cashier: “Wow, you actually came back?”

Me: “Yep, here’s my old license. Really sorry if I held you up there. I’ve never had to transfer my license before so I didn’t know how it works if you only have a temporary one.”

(The cashier checks my ID, then looks at me with an odd expression. He looks to the wine, then just picks it up and puts it with my other stuff without ringing it up.)

Cashier: “Here, have a drink on me for being the one customer who actually acted sensibly when told there was a problem with his ID.”

Me: *amazed* “Uh… wow, really? You don’t have to do that.”

Cashier: “Sir, I wasn’t exaggerating there when I said you are the only one who didn’t throw a fit, or complain. Consider it a ‘gentleman’s discount.'”

(I made sure to enjoy that wine to the utmost. To that cashier, your gentlemanly customer empathizes with your plight and was glad to prove an exception to the rule.)

We All Scream For The Wrong Ice Cream

| NE, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I’m stocking product in an aisle while two older gentlemen are browsing through it. One is practically shouting into his phone.)


Customer #2: “GELATO!”

Customer #1: *on phone* “GELATO ICE CREAM?”

Feeling Bad For Jimmy

| Waukesha, WI, USA | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

(It is 1995. I am 18 and working as a third shift stocker at a major grocery store chain. I am approached by an 18-20 year old white male.)

Customer: “Hey, man, you got any Jimmy Hats?”

Me: “…and they are?”

Customer: “You know man! Jimmy Hats! I need to get my Jimmy Hats. They are for my girl.”

Me: “Are they a type of candy? If so, aisle four, far end on your left.”

(The customer leaves off in that direction and I continue stocking. The customer comes back.)

Customer: “Hey, I couldn’t find them. I need to get the Jimmy Hats my girl wants.”

Me: “Okay, I will come look. Do you know what the packaging looks like?”

Customer: “Yeah, they are Jimmy Hats.”

(I walk him over to the candy aisle and start looking with him and he also looks through the candy.)

Customer: “See, man? I don’t see Jimmy Hats here anywhere.”

Me: “Okay, do you want me to page someone else for assistance?”

Customer: “No man, I just need the Jimmy Hats.”

Me: “Do you know what they look like?”

Customer: “Yeah! They look like Jimmy Hats.”

(This goes on for a bit like this in a horrible circle.)

Me: “Okay, I can’t help you. Let me page someone else.”

Customer: “Okay, hopefully they can help me find the Jimmy Hats.”

Me: *on intercom* “Customer in need of assistance in [aisle].”

(One of my coworkers comes over.)

Customer: “I need a box of Jimmy Hats for my girlfriend and he can’t find them.”

Coworker: *looks confused* “And they are?”

Customer: “JIMMY HATS! My girlfriend wants me to get a box of JIMMY HATS!”

(The customer suddenly looks embarrassed that he yelled that. Starts looking around nervously. A grandmother and her grandkids have now come into the aisle and start going through the candy.)

Coworker: “We might not carry that type of candy.”

Customer: “But they are Jimmy Hats. She said she got them here before!”

Coworker: “We might be out of stock.”

Customer: “But I need to get Jimmy Hats for my girl.”

(I go and get a female cashier to try and help him. The customer turns red.)

Customer: “Um. I just need them… you know…” *gestures downwards*

Me: *realizes* “Condoms?”

Customer: *he just blinks and nods*

Me: “Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t candy when we were searching this aisle? You even looked at the candy.”

Customer: “Well, I am hungry…”

(I take customer to the proper area and he gets his condoms.)

Cashier: “Okay, one bag of Twizzlers and your Jimmy Hats.”

Customer: *just turns red, pays, and walks out*

Not Sue-ted To Parenting

| Pasco, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I’m in my check-stand when I see a customer’s child is standing on the cart’s seat.)

Me: “Sir, you really shouldn’t have your child standing on the seat.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because he could fall and injure himself.”

Customer: “It’s okay. I can just sue you guys if he falls.”

(The customer then proceeded to shop with the child standing on the seat. Luckily the child didn’t fall.)

A Grocery Error Of Judgement

| USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work in a popular grocery store. It’s a very busy Sunday afternoon, and I am monitoring the six self-checkout machines, which is basically like paying attention to six things at once, while answering questions of customers passing by. A man and his three- or four-year old daughter walk away from their machine and come up to me.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I left my credit card in the car. Can you watch my groceries while I run out and grab it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but as you can see, it’s very busy at the moment so I can’t hold your machine. However, I can suspend your order while you get your card, and you can finish checking out when you get back.”

Customer: “I’m parked just right outside. Can you please just hold it for a minute?”

(People in line are already getting irritated that this guy is talking to me instead of checking out, but this continues for another couple of minutes. Finally, I just give in.)

Me: “Okay, but please try to hurry. There is a long line.”

Customer: “Thank you so much! I’ll be right back.”

(He takes his daughter by the hand, presumably to take her out with him. A few seconds later, she comes walking back up to me.)

Me: “…Hi. Where’s your dad?”

Girl: “He told me you would watch me while he went outside.”

(This guy left his very young daughter with me, while I was running six cash registers at once on the busiest day of the week. He was gone for about fifteen minutes (way more than “a couple”) and when he returned, he smelled like he had been chain smoking the whole time he was gone. I ended up calling one of my supervisors over to help watch the kid while I did my job. All of the customers who were around kept asking if I knew the guy and his kid, and when I said no, the looks of shock and disgust that he left a complete stranger to babysit her were priceless.)

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