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    Bad Parenting Just Hit The Motherlode

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I am 16 years old and working at a local grocery store, collecting carts outside. I notice an man standing next to a van with its door wide open and two young girls inside. The man informs me that one of the girls is having a nosebleed, and I notice a puddle of blood on the ground.)

    Me: “Little girl, who are you here with?”

    Little Girl: “My mommy is in the store, but she leaves us in the car.”

    Me: “I’m going to go inside and look for her. What’s her name?”

    Little Girl: “Mommy.”

    Me: “Okay, uh, what’s your last name?”

    (The girl tells me and I go inside while a coworker goes out to watch the girls. I explain to another coworker at customer service what is going on and she pages the mother.)

    Coworker: *over the intercom* “Mrs. [Name], please report to the service desk.”

    (We wait for five minutes and no one shows up. My coworker pages again. Five more minutes pass and still nothing. The mother is paged a third time. 20 minutes after that, a HALF HOUR after the first page, a woman uses the self-checkout and then comes up to the desk asking what they want. They inform her of the situation.)

    Woman: “That little brat better have not bled on the car. She knows she’s supposed to lean out the window.”

    Me: *after a pause in utter disbelief* “Ma’am, you continued shopping while your child could be in need of medical attention?!

    Woman: “She does this all the time, but I know it’s just for attention. I’m not gonna miss a sale because of that.”

    (She left with my coworker and me staring at each other, open-mouthed with shock. I looked out the front window to see the man who originally noticed the girls yelling at her. Going outside to make sure there wasn’t a fight, we heard him yelling about protective services and writing down her license plate number as the woman jumped into her car and sped away.)

    Overly Expressing Herself

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am the cashier for the express lane of the store. The express lane has a clearly posted sign that says twelve items or fewer. Unfortunately, a lot of customers come through with as many as twenty items. I still check them out, but I ask them to take larger orders to the regular checkout lanes in the future. In this case, a woman brings about 20 items through my lane.)

    Me: “Ma’am, in the future, if you have more than 12 items, please go to one of the regular lanes.”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “No?”

    Customer: “Express is faster.”

    (I just stare at her as she pays for her groceries and leaves.)

    Next Customer: “No shame.”

    Me: “Yeah…”

    Just A (Cast The First) Stone’s Throw Away From A True Christian

    | AL, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Religion

    (I live in the Bible belt of America, where homophobia is the norm. I’m a gay man and was outed by a previous coworker, so now I deal with two or three bigots per week. This takes place an early Sunday morning.)

    Me: “Hello. Did you find everything today?”

    Customer #1: *a bigot who frequents my lane just to insult me* “Everything except a good, god fearing cashier!”

    Me: *scanning items and not paying attention* “Your total is $48.50, sir. Would you like to pay cash or credit?”

    Customer #1: “You’re going to Hell, you know! You and all your godd***** f*****! Pick up a Bible and learn how to be a Christian!”

    (He then proceeds to throw his credit card at me. I check him out while enduring his verbal abuse, as usual. Finally he’s gone to bag his groceries while the next customer comes up. He’s an elderly man, around 60, wearing a sweater and a large prominent cross. I fear the worst but he hands me a gift card.)

    Customer #2: “Bless you, son. I’d like you to have this to make up for those of us who are less then their best.”

    (Customer #1 has heard Customer #2 and starts yelling.)

    Customer #1: “You’re going to Hell for supporting this f**! Learn how to be a good Christian!”

    (Customer #2 removes his sweater to reveals he’s a priest. Customer #1′s eyes widen in shock.)

    Customer #2: “Well, if I’m going to Hell I don’t believe there’s much hope for any of us now, is there?”

    (He was the new pastor for the church and one of his first sermons was on spreading love instead of hate. I thank you, good sir, for reminding me what a real Christian is like.)

    Knowledge On Fizzy Is Fuzzy

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (The store is relatively quiet and empty on this evening. A customer enters and approaches me quickly, seeming angry. She slams an open 12-pack of caffeine-free soft drinks on my counter, which I remember I had sold to her earlier.)

    Customer: “False advertising!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You sell products that are advertised falsely!”

    Me: “Um… okay. How? Did you get overcharged?”

    Customer: “These are marked as ‘caffeine free’ but they AREN’T! I demand a refund!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we have no control over the caffeinating. That would be something to contact the soda company about. May I ask, how do you know it has caffeine in it?”

    Customer: “Watch!”

    (She proceeds to open a can. I hear a ‘tsssshhhhh.’)

    Customer: “THERE! See? You don’t hear that noise unless it isn’t caffeinated! There is caffeine in these!”

    Me: “Oh! That isn’t because of caffeine—”

    Customer: “Don’t try to protect them! I DEMAND A REFUND!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s CARBONATION. Not CAFFEINE.”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “CARBONATION is what makes the drink bubbly; CAFFEINE is a stimulant. Furthermore, like I said, that would be an issue to take up with the soda company. Not us.”

    Customer: “… oh. Oh!” *gathers up her drinks and hurries out, clearly embarrassed*

    Going Bananas Over The Bread

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

    (I’m at the self-checkout, and I can hear a woman yelling about her own self-checkout order to the cashier.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe you would just let someone bag their own groceries! How was I supposed to know bananas would flatten my bread? I want a new loaf of bread, and I want it free!”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, we can’t just give you free groceries for your own errors. As we told you last week, putting heavy things on top of light things will cause problems. We’ve suggested you take your items to a cashier to be bagged properly, and—”

    Customer: “I don’t care what you said last week! There is no sign here telling me the bananas will squish my bread! I want it free!”

    Supervisor: “No. I told you, you can’t get any more free groceries.”

    (At this point, I decide to intervene.)

    Me: “Ma’am, can I help you with something? Do you need money?”

    Customer: “What the h*** do you mean by that? Do you even work here?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I don’t work here. I just thought given the fuss you were making over a two dollar loaf of bread, you probably needed the money. Let me write you a check; how much do you need?”

    Customer: “I don’t need anything! It’s the principle of the thing!”

    Me: “And what principle is that?”

    Customer: “Well… I… These people need to learn their place!”

    Me:“They make minimum wage, and I’m sure many of them have second jobs. I’m sure many of them know ‘their place’ in YOUR version of society. So you mean to tell me you’re just being mean to make others feel inferior?”

    Customer: “Well… I…”

    Me: “In that case, I’ll buy you a free loaf of bread just to get these poor employees some peace!”

    Customer: “Well, I never met someone so rude!” *storms out of the store with her squished bread*


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