Only Drunk On Victory

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

(I’m working an overnight cashier shift at a 24-hour grocery store. Since I’m not used to sleeping during the day, I haven’t gotten the best sleep, but I’m still functional. It’s about 6 am and a well-dressed customer comes to my register with coffee and bakery goods.)

Me: *stifling a yawn* “Good morning. How are you?”

Customer: “I’m good, and yourself?”

Me: “Tired.”

Customer: “Well why is that? Didn’t you sleep last night?”

(I think he’s joking.)

Me: “No, not at all. I’ve been up all night, but—”

Customer: “And who’s fault is that?”

Me: “Well, I guess I could blame my boss for scheduling me for this shift—”

Customer: “No! It’s yours!”

Me: “Um… what?”

Customer: “That’s what’s wrong with you kids these days! You party all night, even though you know you have work early in the morning. Now you expect me to have sympathy for you because you have to work right after a party!”

Me: “No, sir, I think you misunderstood—”

Customer: “No! You listen to me, missy! I bet you’re still buzzed from that party!”

Me: “I’ve been here all—”

Customer: “I will be calling your store manager! I’ll tell them you came in for your shift drunk from that party you attended right before work! What do you have to say for yourself now?!”

Me: “Well, I was trying to tell you before that I’ve been here all night long, working since 10:30 last night. I don’t do parties. To be honest, I’m not used to sleeping during the day. I am normally a morning person, so with my sleep cycle a little out of whack, coupled with the fact that I’m on the last hour of my eight-hour shift, I feel my tiredness is warranted. Is there anything else I can get for you today?”

(The man instantly shuts up, and mumbles an apology. He doesn’t make eye contact with me as he cashes out and leaves. As tired as I am, the argument victory makes my last hour go by faster!)

Even A Ninja Has To Work

| Manhattan, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

(I’m waiting in line. The customer in front of me has two unruly boys.)

Boy #1: *to his brother* “Is this for us?”

Boy #2: “I think so!”

(They proceed to stuff candy from the shelves into their pockets.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry; you need to pay for those.”

Boy #1: “Poop!”

Boy #2: “Don’t say that. It’s a dirty word.”

(They empty their pockets.)

Boy #1: “What if I just take one?”

Cashier: “You still have to pay for it.”

Boy #1: “Poop!”

(He pulls an orange from his mother’s shopping cart. He throws it at the cashier, who catches it without looking up.)

Boy #2: “How did you do that?!”

Cashier: “Oh, all the staff here are ninjas.”

(Panicked, the boys take a few more pieces of candy out of their pockets. As he starts ringing me up, I hear him muttering to himself.)

Cashier: “Don’t play baseball, they tell me; it’s a waste of time. Just get a job, they say! That’ll teach you what’s important.”

O Dear

| Anchorage, AK, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

(I’m working at the self-checkout area. I watch over the customers, and help them if they seem lost. One customer has a bunch of green onions, and is looking for them in the ‘No Barcode’ area, under ‘G’. This is a common mistake, so I go to help.)

Me: “‘O’, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, what?”

Me: “No, ‘O’. It’s under ‘O’.”

Customer: “It’s under oh what? What’s it under?”

Me: “‘O’.”

Customer: “Oh, what? What’s it under?”

(I walk over to her and tap the ‘O’ button.)

Me: “No, it’s under ‘O’. ‘O’ for onion.”

Customer: “Oh. Oh, ‘O’!”

Me: “Yeah, ‘O’.”

Customer: “Oh, okay!”

Real Sugar Can’t Be Beet

| WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(A customer comes up with two packages of[energy drink].)

Customer: “Is this sugar free?”

Me: “Nope, afraid not. The sugar free usually has a lighter coloring on the box.”

(The customer repeats his question twice more, and I repeat my answer twice more. Finally, he decides to buy the two packages of normal [energy drink].)

Me: “All right, here’s your receipt!”

Customer: “Wait here. I’ll go get the sugar free…”

(Puzzled, I keep an eye on his groceries. When he returns, he takes the normal [energy drink] out of the bag, putting the new packages in the bag.)

Me: “Sir, didn’t you want to purchase those, too?”

Customer: “No! I told you, I was going to get sugar free! You rang me up for them!”

Me: “Sir, I told you three times that you were buying the regular kind. If you want those instead, you’re going to have to do an exchange.”

Customer: “No! I told you! I wanted sugar free! I have no time for this!”

(I call over my supervisor.)

Supervisor: “What’s up?”

(I explain the situation, calling it a slight problem in communication.)

Customer: “I told her; I’m very busy! I have no time for this!”

Supervisor: “Sir, in the time it took me to walk over here, you could’ve had this done and been on your way. I’ll take care of this on another register.”

(Without a word further, my supervisor takes the customer’s groceries and brings them to another register. A regular customer is behind the other customer, and has witnessed the whole thing.)

Regular Customer: “Geez! People sure are awful, huh?”

Disabling The Able Disabled

| Wichita, KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I have been in a wheelchair since age three. Despite this, I can push my own cart just fine while wheeling myself around. A customer in the store notices me.)

Customer: “Ma’am, do you need help? One of my kids can help you push your cart.”

Me: “No, thank you; I am doing just fine.”

Customer: “But you’re disabled! You can’t do anything on your own!”

(The customer tries to grab the cart. I hold onto it.)

Me: “I can do it just fine on my own, thank you!”

Customer: “See, that’s the problem these days! You people not accepting help!”

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