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  • An Accidental Hero

    | WI, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a grocery store. I see two teenage boys come in and grab a few things.)

    Teenager #1: *slightly dazed * “Hey… can I ask you a question?

    Me: “Um… sure?”

    Teenager #1: “Do we look bad?”

    Me: “Bad? How do you mean bad?”

    Teenager #1: “Like, you know, accident-bad?”

    Me: “Well, I did notice you two are a bit scuffed up.”

    Teenager #1: “We flipped our four wheeler when some guy tried to run us off the road.”

    Me: “Oh my gosh! Are you both alright?”

    Teenager #1: “We think so. All we want to do is just get our stuff for tonight and head back home.”

    (Just then, the other teenager promptly keels over. I call my manager and we get an ambulance to store. The EMTs check out both and report that they are both good and that the second one only passed out from the shock that settled in. Once the EMT gets the other teen to come around I used my house account to get them some water and a snack bar to help settle them. I then offer to take them home since I lived near by once they told the EMT where they lived. At first they didn’t want to because the first teen didn’t want to leave his four wheeler, but my manager says that it can be put in the back of my truck; and they seemed to be alright with that. About a week later, I get called to the service desk by the same manager.)

    Me: “Yes?”

    Manager: *smiles some* “You have two people who want to see you.”

    (I look and it’s the two teenagers from that night and they hand me a carnation, a lottery ticket, and thank me for what I did!)

    I Don’t Work Here, Actually Worked Here, Part 3

    | Cape Cod, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I don’t work at the store, but my uniform is similar to the store I’m at. An elderly man asks me for help and even though I’m not an employee I help him with his list. I eventually finish my shopping and step into a line. I see the old man step up behind me, so I casually step out of line so he can check out his fewer items first.)

    Elderly Man: “Did you stop out of line so I could get in front of you?”

    Me: “Nope, I was looking at this magazine over here.”

    Elderly Man: “Well, you get right back in front of me.”

    Me: “No, that’s okay; you’ve got less items than I do, so you’ll go through faster.”

    Elderly Man: “Now you listen here, young lady: I’m older than you and you have to respect your elders. Now, respect me and get ahead.”

    (I still refuse and because it’s his turn to check out, he has no choice but to unload his items. I unload my things behind his while the man hands the cashier clearly too much money.)

    Elderly Man: “You see that insufferable young lady right there? I want you to use this money to pay for her things. Stupidly I thought she worked here, and even though she doesn’t, she helped me find all of my items and then let me go ahead of her. I want you to use that money but give her a condescending look for being such a nice girl.”

    Cashier: “You want me to scold her for being kind?”

    Elderly Man: “No, I want you to scold her for not listening to her elders. You give her a nice smile for being kind.”

    (The man then leaves and I’m checked out.)

    Cashier: “That was really the most interesting conversation I’ve ever had, and if he hadn’t paid for your items, I would have for being such an outstanding customer!”

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Actually Worked Here, Part 2
    I Don’t Work Here, Actually Worked Here

    Marked Down But Not Giving It Out

    | Helsinki, Finland | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (It is the 1990s. We have ‘marks’ as our currency. I work in the grocery store, and my duty is to sell fish and other seafood. A women approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you change this thousand mark bill into one 500, four 100′s,one 50, four 10′s and ten coins of 1 mark?”

    Me: “I’m sorry madam, I can’t. I don’t have a cash register here at all and I’m afraid that even cashiers aren’t allow to change a thousand mark bill, because it is early in the Saturday morning and we need to have small change in our cash registers. But there’s no harm asking; the cash registers are over there.”

    Customer: “No, no, I meant that can you change this from your own money?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m a college student and work here only part time and since I’ve just paid my rent, I don’t even have that kind of a money in my bank account.”

    Customer: “I’m not interested what you have or don’t have in your bank account. I want you to change this for me. Take the money from your pockets.”

    Me: “Well, as I don’t have that kind of the money in my bank account, unfortunately I don’t have that kind of money in my pockets, either.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe you. Show me your pockets!”

    Me: *showing* “As you can see, the only thing in my pocket is this handkerchief.”

    Customer: “But you are a woman, you surely have a hand bag, don’t you?”

    Me: “Well, yes I do.”

    Customer: “So, where is it?”

    Me: “It’s in my locker, in our locker room.”

    Customer: “So, why won’t you go to your hand bag and fetch the money from there?”

    Me: “I’m afraid I can’t leave, because I’m the only seller here right now, and it wouldn’t be any use anyway. I can assure you that I don’t have 1000 marks in my purse either.”

    Customer: “So, why do you work here if you can’t even help a customer by changing my bill into a smaller bills and coins?”

    Me: “I work here because I need to finance my studies.”

    Customer: “Some fine financing! I can’t believe you won’t be able, or willing, to help me out!”

    I Don’t Work Here, Actually Worked Here, Part 2

    | WV, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am a customer at the grocery store a week before Christmas, dressed very casually in a hoodie, jeans, and t-shirt. I’m waiting in the candy aisle for an employee to return, as I’ve asked her to find a specific brand for me. While I wait, I decide to be nice and help clean up fallen candy in the aisle. As I do so, a woman enters the aisle and stands 15 feet away from me but says nothing. After a minute, she finally speaks.)

    Customer: “Bridge mix.”

    Me: *completely baffled* “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t know what that is.”

    Customer: “It’s got chocolate and nuts.”

    Me: “Well, chocolate is down at that end of the aisle.”

    Customer: *goes down, comes back* “It’s not there.”

    Me: “Well, I don’t know, ma’am, I’m sorry. I don’t work here.”

    Customer: “You don’t work here?”

    (I smile and nod and go back to hanging the candy back up, thinking the exchange is over.)

    Customer: “You’re stocking.”

    Me: “Oh, no! I don’t work here! I’m just cleaning up the mess until the woman who is helping me gets back.”

    Customer: “You don’t work here.”

    Me: “Right.”

    Customer: “But you’re cleaning up the shelves?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (After a few moments she goes back down towards the chocolate section of the aisle to check again. I happen to look up and notice, on the highest row of candy, several bags of bridge mix.)

    Me: “Ma’am? I found it!”

    Customer: *comes scurrying over; sees it* “I need it about ten times bigger than that.”

    Me: “Well, there are more than ten bags here.”

    Customer: “What’s the price say?”

    Me: *stands on tiptoe to see* “The thing is blank, so, free?”

    Customer: “Typical.”

    Me: “Well, I hope you find it. Happy holidays.”

    Customer: “You learned something today!” *heads off*

    (Eventually the employee woman came back with my candy, and I was able to go off to do the rest of my shopping. However, I kept running into Bridge Mix Woman, and every time, she would tell me, ‘You learned something today!’ That’s why I gave the woman who ACTUALLY worked there a big hug!)

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Actually Worked Here

    His Translation Is A Sham(rock), Part 2

    | Gaithersburg, MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Top

    (I am a customer checking out at a grocery store I shop at every week. There is one customer ahead of me. Paper and plastic bags are 5 cents each.)

    Cashier: “Would you like a bag for your items, sir?”

    Customer: *unintelligible grunt*

    Cashier: “I beg your pardon, sir?”

    Customer: *grunts again and waves*

    (The cashier starts to put the groceries in a plastic bag.)

    Customer: “What?! What the h*** do you think you’re doing?! I said no!

    (He starts into a loud, abusive tirade about how stupid the cashier is.)

    Me: *to the cashier* “Just tell him ‘Pogue Mahone’ (póg mo thóin). It’s an Irish saying that people say when they want to end an argument.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not! I know exactly what it means! I read notalwaysright.com!”

    Me: *smirks* “Do you really?”

    Customer: “Yes! Yes, I do, you stupid b****!”

    Me: “Oh? Then why are you acting like a customer who belongs on there?”

    (The customer turns bright red and shuts up. He is silent for the rest of his transaction. As he is getting ready to leave, he turns to me.)

    Customer: “Any chance this can stay just between us?”

    Me: *grins and laughs* “Not a chance in h***!”

    Customer: *scowls* “B****!”

    (He finally leaves.)

    Cashier: “This is going on notalwaysright.com, isn’t it?”

    Me: *still grinning* “You bet!”

    (She ended up convincing her manager to give me an employee discount on my groceries because I got one of the rudest regulars to shut his mouth.)

    Related:
    His Translation Is A Sham(rock)

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