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    App-ology

    | Houston, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    Customer: *to friend* “I wish there were some kind of app that could tell you where stuff is in a specific store.”

    Me: “What was it you were looking for?”

    Customer’s Friend: “Oh! Soda?”

    Me: “Soda’s on aisle 10.”

    Customer’s Friend: “Ha, I guess she’s the app!”

    Me: “Just call me Siri!”

    Customer: *suddenly very sour* “Well, I could, but that would be stupid.”

    Me: “Heh, yeah, I guess.”

    (I proceeded to go on about my business, and put the exchange out of my mind. A couple weeks later, the same customer comes back.)

    Customer: “Hey, last time I was here, you helped me out and I was kind of rude to you. I just wanted to let you know I didn’t even realize it until my friend told me I was being a jacka**, and I’m sorry.”

    (I thanked him and told him he was forgiven. If only all rude customers had friends like that!)

    Unloading More Than Just Shopping

    | AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (A customer is singing ‘Call Me Maybe’ really loud and obnoxiously while unloading items. I’m in line behind her. People behind me are complaining. The owner sneaks up behind her.)

    Customer: “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy…”

    Owner: “…but you’re in my store, so SHUT UP MAYBE!”

    (I will shop there for the rest of my life!)

    Causing Infractions

    | Iowa, USA | Math & Science, Top

    (I work in a grocery store meat department. I’m helping a customer who is wanting items packaged specifically, like six steaks in two packages of three. She has been talking to me with a very condescending tone like I’m stupid. I am a science major in college.)

    Customer: “Can I get two packages of four rib eyes?”

    (I wrap the steaks in two packages and give them to her.)

    Customer: “You can add, subtract, and multiply, but can you divide?”

    Me: “I can divide, differentiate, integrate, and do logarithms, just to name some of what I can do.”

    (Her face goes pale and her tone completely changes the rest of the time I have to deal with her. She leaves in a hurry.)

    Someone’s Been Pumpkin At The Gym

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Bigotry

    (I work in a grocery store, and we’ve just gotten some very large pumpkins for the fall season. I am a female.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, is there a man working here who could help me out?”

    Me: “Um, he’s somewhere around here. What did you need?”

    Customer: “Well, I really want that big pumpkin, but it’s so heavy and I can’t lift it.”

    Me: “Oh, I can get it for you!”

    (The customer puts her hand on my arm to stop me as my male manager walks by.)

    Customer: “You, can you help me with this pumpkin?”

    Manager: “Are you kidding me?! She’s much stronger than I am!”

    (I get the pumpkin into her cart with ease, and she doesn’t say a word to me.)

    Me: “There you go, ma’am. Have a nice day!”

    Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 2

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Canada, Money, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be $26.17, please.”

    Customer: “Do you accept American money here?”

    Me: “We sure do. And, just so you know, the exchange rate right now is even at 1.00.”

    (I finish counting out the change and hand it to the customer along with her receipt.)

    Me: “Your change is $23.83. Enjoy the rest of the day!”

    (She stands beside my till looking confusedly at her hand for a few seconds.)

    Me: “Is there something else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “What is this?!”

    Me: “That’s your change, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Why would I want this?! Why don’t I get American change back? I’m an American!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, you are in Canada. We don’t carry American change on the tills.”

    Customer: *hesitantly* “But Canada is practically a part of the States, isn’t it?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, it’s not. If you have any more questions, my supervisor at the service desk will be happy to help. You have a nice day.”

    (She moves off to the end of my till, slowly puts away the money, and wanders off.)

    Next Customer: *jokingly* “That definitely made my day. Do you get those types here often?”

    Me: “You have no idea.”

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