Customer: *holding a bottle of wine* “Are you old enough to sell me this?”
Me: “Yes, I am.”
(I reach out to take the bottle, but he refuses to hand it to me.)
Customer: “Are you sure that you’re old enough?”
Me: “Yes. I wouldn’t be a cashier otherwise. I’m pretty sure you only have to be eighteen.”
Customer: “Are you eighteen?”
Me: “Nineteen, yes. Would you like me to sell you it?”
(The customer finally releases his hold on the wine. I begin to scan.)
Customer: “Are you sure you’re allowed to? You look pretty young.”
Me: “I’m old enough.”
Customer: “Do I get a discount for calling you young?”

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Customer: “Is that chicken?”
Me: “No, they are stuffed jalapeños.”
Customer: “Oh, it’s pork?”
Me: “No, it’s a stuffed jalapeño.”
Customer: “What’s that?”
Me: “A pepper.”
Customer: “Is that so?”
(The customer’s husband approaches and sees the stuffed jalapeños.)
Customer’s husband: “What is that?”
Me: “Stuffed jalapeños.”
Customer’s husband: “Oh, so it’s fish?”

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Customer: “Excuse me.”
Me: “Can I help you?”
Customer: “I don’t understand what this sign says.”
(The customer points to a sign above the organic section. It indicates that all produce needs to be washed thoroughly.)
Me: “It means that before you eat any product, you should wash it.”
Customer: “Why?”
Me: “Because there might be dirt or other things on the item.”
Customer: “But these are organic!”
Me: “Organic means they were grown only with natural substances.”
Customer: “Dirt isn’t natural!”

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Customer: “Excuse me.”
Me: “Yes, sir?”
Customer: “Do you sell gift cards that can be used anywhere?”
Me: “Do you mean something like a gift card that can be used in a certain mall?”
Customer: “No. Gift cards that can be used wherever someone wants to use them.”
Me: “Do you mean money?”
Customer: “Yes. Just like money…only a gift card.”

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Customer: “Do you work here?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “Can you help me?”
Me: “Of course!”
Customer: “Come with me.”
(The customer proceeds to take me to the office and speaks to my manager.)
Customer: “Does he work here?”
Manager: “Yes.”
Customer: “Can he help me?”
Manager: “Yes.”
Customer: “Okay. I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t lying to me.”
Related:
I Don’t Work Here Does Not Work Here, Part 3
I Don’t Work Here Does Not Work Here, Part 2
I Don’t Work Here Does Not Work Here

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