October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

The Highs And Lows Of Retail

| Natick, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I’m a bag girl and I’m bagging a customer’s groceries. An extremely tall man, like, 6’8″, 6’9″, comes over to me while I’m working.)

Man: “Hey, did you know you’re, like, really short?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(I’m 4’11” and, while I’m not terribly sensitive about my height, I can’t believe he actually said this.)

Man: “Well, compared to me, you’re really short.”

Me: “And so is Stevie over there; he’s six feet. You are a rather tall person, sir. Excuse me, please, you’re blocking the bags.”

Man: *suddenly offended* “It’s so rude of you to say something like that about my height. That’s a sensitive topic for tall people.”

(The cashier is trying really hard not to laugh and the customer, who is maybe 5’2″, is staring at the man like she can’t believe this guy is for real.)

Me: “It’s rather sensitive for short people, too, and you really were incredibly impolite about MY height. Please move; I need to bag this order.”

(He stomps off in a huff and I turn to finish bagging the customer’s order.)

Customer: “Do you take tips? You deserve one after handling that man.”

Me: “I’ll take any tip that doesn’t involve drinking more milk so I can grow.”

A Crackers Request

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I’m a cashier at a local grocery store. A woman comes to my line holding an open pack of crackers, one from a larger pack of eight.)

Customer: “I got these crackers, and I got hungry so I started eating some, but then my grandson called and said these aren’t the kind he likes. Can I just pay for this one?”

Me: “We don’t sell the packs individually; you’ll have to pay for the whole thing.”

Customer: “But I don’t have any use for them!”

Me: “Well, since you opened it, neither do we.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 22

| Norway | At The Checkout, Underaged

(I’m at our local grocery store, buying some snacks and alcoholic beverages. The drinking age here is 18, and the store policy is to check the ID of anyone who looks younger than 25. Since I’ve used the same store my entire life, most of the cashiers know me and don’t bother to ID me. The customer behind me, who is also purchasing alcohol, has been glaring at me through the entire transaction. It’s her turn.)

Cashier: “I’ll need to see an ID, please.”

Customer: “Why do you need that?”

Cashier: “Store policy.” *points to sign*

Customer: *points to me* “You didn’t check her ID, and I’m clearly older than her. I’m not even sure she’s legal.”

Cashier: “She is. ID, please.”

Customer: “No! Not until you ID HER.” *glares at me*

Cashier: *sighs and turns to me* “[My Name], may I see an ID, please?”

Me: “Sure.” *hands over my university ID*

Cashier: “Oh, you’re at [University] now? How’s that going?” *hands my ID back*

Me: “It’s great, thanks for asking. Say ‘hi’ to your parents for me.” *I turn to leave*

Cashier: “You too!” *to customer* We’ve known each other since we were six. ID, please.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 21
No ID, No Idea, Part 20
No ID, No Idea, Part 19

That’s The Way The Cookie Repeatedly Crumbles

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m a cashier at the local grocery store. Today I’m training a new employee on how to use the register. A woman comes up with a box of cookies. I scan it.)

Woman: “No! The price on those is too high. Cancel it.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I cancel it.)

Woman: “Scan it again.”

Me: “Um, okay?”

(I scan it again.)

Woman: “No, the price is still too high. Cancel it.”

Me: “Uh…”

(I cancel it again.)

Woman: “Scan it again.”

Me: “Ma’am, the price isn’t going to change.”

Woman: “You don’t know that!”

(This goes on for several minutes to the point where I have to call a manager over to deal with. Eventually she leaves, without the cookies.)

Trainee: “Did that really just happen?”

Me: “Yup.”

Trainee: “Is customer service always like this?”

Me: “Yup.”

Trainee: “I should get my stupidity vaccine updated, shouldn’t I?”

Me: “Yup.”

Also Forgot His Nuts

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, One-Liners

(I go to the store to get bananas, and nothing else. I pay for the bananas, and start to walk away, forgetting them at the register.)

Cashier: *holds bananas up and calls to me* “Hey! Your bananas!”

Me: “That’s between me and my psychiatrist, thank you very much!”

(We all have a good chuckle as I return for the bananas.)

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