He Got The Idiot Card

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I just finished checking out a customer purchasing a birthday card and a few other things. It’s slow, so there’s no one in line behind him.)

Customer: *opens card* “Can I borrow a pen?”

Me: “Sure, no problem.” *passes him his pen and begins to bag the rest of his things*

Customer: *begins writing on the card, but then stops* “Err… ma’am?”

Me: *looks up* “Yeah?”

Customer: *looks flustered* “I just spelled my friend’s name wrong.”

Me: *stares*

Customer: “Do you think I could put this card back and I could just grab a fresh one?”

Me: “Err… no?”

The Mother Of All Assumptions

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Holidays

(It’s Mother’s Day. Please note that I am 23 and look a little young for my age.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Happy Mother’s Day!”

Me: “Thank you, sir?”

Customer: “You’re not a mother?”

Me: “No, sir!”

Customer: “Uh, Happy Sunday, then!”

This Customer Is On Full Charge

| NS, Canada | Awesome Customers, Money

(Our store follows the ‘Scanning Code of Practice’ – if an item scans at a higher price than any tag or advertised price in the store, the customer gets the item free. I am working at the customer service desk when a polite, but clearly upset customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I just bought this toothbrush and I was charged $1.49 but the tag on the shelf said it was $1.79.”

Me: “Okay?”

Customer: “I was charged the wrong amount! I’d like you to change it to the correct price, please!”

Me: “But sir, you weren’t overcharged… You were undercharged. Don’t worry about it; just enjoy the 30 cents off!”

Customer: “But I didn’t pay the full price for it! That’s not right! I want you to charge me the full price!”

Me: “Well, if the tag is showing the wrong price, we consider that our mistake and our policy is actually to give you the item for free… Did you want me to give your money back for it?”

Customer: “No! I want you to charge me the extra 30 cents! It’s not right that I’m not paying the full price. I don’t want to rip you off!”

Me: “I appreciate your honesty, but as I said sir, incorrect price tags are considered the store’s mistake; you really don’t have to pay any extra.”

Customer: “I want to! I want to pay the correct price! Just take the 30 cents, would you? ”

(At this point the customer is holding 30 cents out to me, practically begging me to take it, and is quite obviously annoyed, although still not being rude.)

Me: “…All right, sir, I can charge you the extra 30 cents, but it’s really not necessary.”

Customer: *giving me the money and sounding both relieved and annoyed at the same time* “Thank you! I don’t see why that was so difficult…”

(After he left, I learned that he had tried to get his original cashier to change the price, and when she told him she wasn’t able to, and also not to worry about it, he went to another cashier and got the same response before finally coming to me and insisting on paying the extra money. I’ve never seen anyone so annoyed at not being charged full price for something!)

Banana-Drama, Part 2

| TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(It’s around nine pm, and only my first week at this new store. I’m a cashier and my bagger is helping me with the register when I need help. An elderly woman walks up to the counter.)

Me:“How are you tonight, ma’am?”

Customer: “Horrible! I can barely afford to buy groceries, but there are little girls winning Miss America pageants and I have to scrape pennies to buy food! It’s not fair!”

(I can’t get a word out before she starts going on about God and becoming an atheist.)

Customer: “Why, God?! Why?! Why me?!”

(At this point, several employees have gathered and are watching her have a full blown breakdown in the store. She throws her items on the belt and I ring them up, and wait for her to stop screaming. She finally stops.)

Me: “Do you have your rewards card with you?”

(All the other employees, most of them teenagers burst out laughing. She throws her card at me and I scan it. I give her her total, and all h*** breaks loose.)

Customer: “Jesus Christ, I can’t afford that! Take it all off; I don’t want it!”

(I void all the items off and she says she will buy one banana. I weigh it and give her the total. She then starts dumping her purse out on the counter and starts throwing pennies at me. I count them and tell her she still owes an amount of cents. She throws more pennies on the counter and complains that she is spending her life savings on one banana. At this point, all my coworkers are just staring at her speechless. She ends up taking the banana, and I try to give her her change of one cent back and she walks out waving the banana around cursing God. Then she reenters minutes later and goes through another lane with bread and does the same thing with the other cashier. After she leaves, the cashier, who is actually a manager, walks over to me and says:)

Manager: “I hate my life.”

Dora Hasn’t Explored That Yet

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

(I’m bagging a customer’s purchases when a woman and a little girl in a Dora the Explorer shirt walk by.)

Me: “Do you know how Dora the Explorer got her name?”

Customer: *suddenly horrified* “Uh… no…”

Me: “Because the Spanish word for ‘explorer’ is ‘exploradora.'”

Customer: “Oh, thank God. I thought you were going to say she was named after a porn star or something.”

Me: “…”

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