Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,221 thumbs up)
  • Some Customers Really Need To Change

    | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I work as a cashier in a small grocery store. An older woman comes to my register with two gallons of milk and some bread.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total comes to $10.08.”

    Customer: “I only have ten dollars!” *waves a ten dollar bill in my face*

    Me: “You know what? I’ll just pay the difference for you, since you’re a regular.”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (I take a quarter out of my pocket, complete the transaction, drop the change in my pocket, and hand her the milk.)

    Me: “Have a great day, ma’am!”

    Customer: “Where is my change? The screen says my change is 17 cents.”

    Me: “Well, since I used a quarter to pay just the eight cents I took the rest of the change back.”

    Customer: “You should give it to me! You’re stealing from me, you little b****! Let me talk to your manager!”

    (She continues to yell at me and my manager for a few minutes, calling us evil thieves.)

    Manager: “No one is stealing from you, ma’am. She didn’t even need to pay the difference on your total.”

    Customer: “I’m never coming back here again!”

    (She storms out.)

    Fishing For A Fisherman

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, History

    (I am working at the seafood counter of my store when a little old lady walks up.)

    Old Lady: “Did you catch these fish yourself?”

    Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Heh, good one.”

    Old Lady: “Well? Did you?”

    Me: “… No, ma’am.”

    Old Lady: “Well, which one of the people here did catch them?”

    Me: “No one here caught them, ma’am.”

    Old Lady: “You mean you didn’t catch them locally? What kind of fisherman are you?”

    Me: “I’m not a fisherman, ma’am. I’m a retail employee, as is everyone else here. Also, we’re right in the middle of the Florida peninsula, 45 miles to the ocean in either direction. And I couldn’t tell you anything about the fish living in local lakes or rivers, but I’m betting they’re not good to eat.”

    Old Lady: “Well, then how did you get these fish?!”

    Me: “They were farm-raised in Vietnam, frozen, shipped overseas, and driven here in a refrigerated truck.”

    Old Lady: “What’s happening to America?! When I was a little girl, we used to go down to all the Mom-and-Pop general stores and buy fresh fish, caught right here in God’s country!”

    Me: “Mom-and-Pop general stores don’t exist anymore, ma’am. My company had Mom and Pop locked up and burned their store to the ground.”

    Dealing With A Smoking Gun

    | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (I work at a grocery store at the courtesy desk. Our store is relatively new and doesn’t sell cigarettes, unlike most others of the same chain. One day a woman approaches the desk.)

    Me: “Hello. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, can I have a carton of Marlboro Lights?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. This [Store] does not sell cigarettes.”

    Customer: *shocked and annoyed* “What? Why not?!”

    Me: “The owner made the decision not to sell them before he opened this store.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this. That’s just UN-AMERICAN!”

    (Her husband who was nearby hears her and walks up.)

    Customer’s Husband: Hmm? What’s the matter?

    Customer: “This store doesn’t sell cigarettes! Have you ever heard of that before?! It’s just un-American!”

    Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience. There is a store in the plaza that sells cigarettes just outside here.”

    Customer: “I shouldn’t have to! It’s just un-American to not sell cigarettes!”

    (The customer storms off leaving me and her husband to just stare in confusion.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

    Customer’s Husband: “Yeah, not when I’m out shopping with her!”

    Surprisingly Latex Tolerant

    | Dover, OH, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I am stocking the dairy department in the store.)

    Customer: “Where’s the latex free milk?”

    (I felt really bad correcting him and kindly pointed and said:)

    Me: “Sir, the lactose free milk is right over there.”

    Her Threat Is Not Worth The Paper It’s Written On

    | Lake Forest, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Wild & Unruly

    (My store offers customers the choice between paper and plastic bags. As we are very busy in the days leading up to Easter, we run out of paper bags and only have plastic. It is now the day after Easter. An old woman comes up to my register with a small cart of items.)

    Me: “Hello, did you find everything you needed?”

    Customer: “Yes. I need all this in paper.”

    Coworker: *who is bagging* “I’m sorry, ma’am, we ran out of paper bags.”

    Customer: “Now, I said I’d NEVER shop here again if you ran out of paper bags.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we ran out just Saturday. It—”

    Customer: “Well, [Other Grocery Store] never runs out of paper bags! This store is just too cheap to buy enough paper bags.”

    Me: “I’m sorry but I can’t speak for [Other Grocery Store]. All I know is that it was very busy Friday, very busy Saturday, and paper bags don’t come in until Tuesday.”

    Customer: *gives me a look of pure hate*

    Me: “Your total is [total].”

    (I finish bagging her grocery in silence and hand her her receipt.)

    Me: “All right, you have four bags. Would you like some help outside today?”

    Customer: “No, just put it in the cart.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re not allowed to let the carts outside of the store. I’d be happy to help—”

    Customer: “Just keep your d*** groceries!”

    (The customer walks right out the door and leaves behind her paid-for groceries. I don’t know what to do, so I just go and tell my supervisor. She freaks out and gets me freaked out about what our store manager will say to both of us. The customer’s groceries are still just sitting at my register. 15 minutes later my customer comes back, somehow looking both haughty and intensely embarrassed.)

    Customer: “Well, since they’re mine, I’ll just take them.”

    Me: “Do you need help out—”

    Customer: “NO!”

    Page 3/11412345...Last