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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    More Thanks-taking Than Thanksgiving

    | Kansas City, Mo, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Holidays, Wild & Unruly

    (I am working in a grocery store meat department on Thanksgiving day stocking the hams and turkeys as fast as I can. I have just announced over the speaker that we have five fresh, unfrozen turkeys left, and we are waiting for the rush of people to get them. When there is only one left, predictably two customers grab for it.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, this is mine. I saw it before you did.”

    Customer #2: “No way! I walked all the way across the store to get it. It’s mine! I’m going home with it.”

    Customer #1: “Why don’t you get a ham or something? I need this turkey for my dinner tonight. You can get something else.”

    Customer #2: “Listen, you fat cow, you can buy the f****** ham. I’m getting this turkey.”

    (At this point I figure I’d better get involved and run over.)

    Me: “Ladies, we do have fresh turkey breasts available as well as hams and ducks. There are even a couple of geese leftover—”

    Customer #2: “F*** you! I’m getting this d*** turkey and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

    (Customer #2 then shoves her cart into the other woman, causing her to fall into the display of stuffing next to her, and runs off with the turkey. Hoping it’s over, I go to help the other customer up, but she slaps my hand, gets to her feet, and tackles the other customer. I call security. Before they can get there I see that Customer #3 has spotted Customer #1′s now abandoned cart and purse. She runs over and dumps Customer #1′s purse into her own and then grabs just about everything out of her cart including a bag of prescription medication, before running off. I shout at her but she disappears into a crowd of people. Customers #1 and #2 are now rolling on the floor in the bread aisle while security is trying to pull them apart. While this goes on, Customer #4 approaches Customer #2′s cart and grabs the turkey and most everything in her cart. Security eventually pulls them apart and they are both arrested. Sadly, Customer #3, who stole Customer #1′s purse, is never caught as the cart was in a blind spot.)

    A Bona-Fido Law

    | Orem, UT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Pets & Animals, Wild & Unruly

    (I stop by the store on my way to work. A customer is causing quite a scene, while a manager is trying to deal with her.)

    Customer: “I won’t leave my dog outside! Do you know how cold it is out there? What about cruelty to animals!?”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. You should have left him at home. He cannot come in the store.”

    Customer: “Leave him alone? That’s even more cruel!”

    (At that point, I’d about had it, as had several other people. I, however, had recently been researching the city’s laws and ordinances regarding animals.)

    Me: “Excuse me. But did you know, as per city ordinance, article 5-3, it is ‘unlawful for any person to take or permit any dog, whether loose or on a leash or in arms, in or about any establishment or place of business where food or food products are sold or displayed, including… grocery stores?’ The only exceptions are seeing-eye dogs, hearing dogs, and dogs owned by government agencies. As your dog obviously does not meet any of those qualifications, what you are attempting to do is illegal. Do I really need to call the police, or will you leave and take your dog with you?”

    Customer: “Well, I never!” *she storms out, dog in arms*

    Manager: “Thank you, ma’am.”

    Me: “No trouble. What a moron. I don’t even have a cell phone.”

    Super Friends

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (A group of friends of mine stop by the store where I work. As a joke all of them come to my lane to ‘make me earn my pay’ for the night. A customer with her son tries cutting them all and jumps in the front.)

    Customer: “Hurry up! I’m a very important person! I have things to do.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ll be glad to check you out before each of these gentlemen that you cut if you ask each of them what they do and honestly think that what you do is more important.”

    Customer: “FINE!” *turns to Friend #1* “And what do you do?”

    Friend #1: “I train soldiers at [local military base] who are willing to fight for your freedom.”

    Customer: “… Oh.” *turns to Friend #2* “What about you?”

    Friend #2: “I’m a firefighter.”

    Customer: “… Um.” *skips Friend #3 and #4 and goes to #5* “And you?”

    Friend #5: “I do cancer research.”

    (The customer gives up. I proceed to checkout everyone accordingly and the customer pays and bolts out the door.)

    Me: “Have I ever told you guys how proud I am to actually know you guys? Wonder why she didn’t ask [Friend #3] and [Friend #4]?”

    Friend #3: “Well… she’s a waitress where I eat lunch while I’m on patrol… so she knows I’m a cop!”

    Friend #4: “I… I can’t actually say!”

    Friend #5: “Fine! I will! Her son came up to [Friend #4] and asked how working at [medical practice where Friend #4 is shadowing] is going. She sees him at her kid’s pediatrician!”

    No Credit For Offering Help

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I am ringing up an older customer at a grocery store. When it is time to pay she swipes her debit card. She wants to use it as credit and in order to do this, you have to press the red button and hit credit when the machine asks for your pin. The customer keeps putting in her pin and then tells me she wants to do credit, so I have to cancel her card numerous times.)

    Me: “Ma’am, if you want to use your card as credit, press the red button when it asks for your pin then press credit.”

    (The customer ignores me and continues to type in her pin so I turn the machine around to help her.)

    Customer: “How about you stay back there and do what you’re supposed to do and let me do what I’m supposed to do! You obviously don’t know what you’re talking about!”

    (I sit there and watch her struggle with it for a couple more minutes.)

    Customer: “ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME OR WHAT?!”

    The Mother Of Bad Decisions

    | SD, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I am working at the customer service desk at the grocery store in my town. It’s about three in the afternoon, and I’m an hour into an eight-hour shift. I am alone at the front of the store, when a customer that I do not know comes up to me.)

    Me: “Hello. What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “Hey, I need a babysitter for my kid tonight. Can you come and do it?”

    (I’m a little taken aback but give her a smile anyway.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but I am working the closing shift tonight.”

    Customer: “Great! Who is supposed to watch my kid tonight? I have very important plans!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there’s nothing I can do to help you.”

    Customer: “Thanks a lot! You just ruined my entire night! Teenagers today are so lazy and worthless!”

    (I stare at her open-mouthed as she stomps away. A few minutes later, I see her ask another one of my coworkers, whom politely declines, because she’s also working all night. The customer rushes out of the store cussing, leaving her full cart of groceries behind.)


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