Grocery Store | Oakville, ON, Canada
(I work in the stock department of a small, local grocery store. Generally, I would get 1 or 2 requests to check the back for an item a shift. An elderly woman-I’d say around 75-80–approaches me. She is asking about a common type of flour we carry.)
Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve managed to find 4 of these. Would you care to check the back room to see if you have any more?”
Me: “Sure thing.”
(I grab a single flour package from her. After 1-2 minutes of aimless searching in the backroom, I return the bag to the woman.)
Customer: “Why, thank you! Now I have 4! Thats exactly how many I needed! God bless you!”
(I was way too embarrassed for her to explain the situation.)
Me: “You’re…welcome. Anything else?”
Customer: “One more thing, dear.”
Me: “What is it?”
Customer: “Can you check the back to see if you have any more of these?”
Grocery Store | Suffolk, VA, USA
(I use to work in a deli at a grocery story. This story takes place there.)
Me: “How can I help you?”
Customer: “I want the extra cheap-a** ham.”
Me: “How thin do you want that?”
Customer: “Bible-paper thin.”
Me: “Um…ok?”
(It should be noted that slicing the “extra cheap-a** ham” too thin results not in ham, but in a ham-like paste)
Me: “Here you go.”
Customer: “You call that thin? You obviously aren’t a religious man, I can see.”
Me: “Ok…”
(I ended up giving him about $3.00 worth of ham paste and he walked away happy, so I guess it all worked out.)
Grocery Store | Williston, VT, USA
(A man realized that he was unable to pay for his groceries a few checkouts away from mine and had to leave his cart full of items behind. As he stormed off, he let off a tirade of insults at his cashier, finally stopping as he passed my register, gaping in awe at my long hair. I’m a guy, by the way.)
Pissed customer: “AND YOU! GET A HAIRCUT! YOU LOOK STUPID!”
Me: “…”
Grocery Store | New Hampshire, USA
Me: “Your total is $87.95.”
Customer: “I have a coupon for [X product]. It was for a dollar off.”
Me: “Ok.” (I wait 30 seconds for her to produce it, but she stares blankly at the total on the screen.)
Customer: “Well, aren’t you going to type that in? It’s for one dollar.”
Me: “Ma’am, I just need to see the coupon so I can scan it.”
Customer: “Well I don’t HAVE it with me…it’s at home. I forgot it, but it’s for [X product] for a dollar.”
Me: “Ma’am, I can’t credit you for that unless you bring the coupon with you. You are welcome to bring it next time. Your total today is $87.95.”
Customer: “So what, you don’t believe me? Why can’t you just give me a dollar off? That’s what the coupon was for.”
Me: “Ma’am, I believe that you bought the product and that you have the coupon at home, but I am unable to give you the discount without actually physically having the coupon in my till drawer.”
Customer: “Well that’s just the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. What ever happened to the honor system! It’s rude of you not to believe me!”
Grocery Store | Seminole, FL, USA
(I was a cashier at a local grocery store one summer. At 9 o clock every night, it was the bagboy’s duty to clean the store…which included vacuuming the rugs in front of the automatic doors. One night, about 8-8:30, an elderly lady comes in and sits by the doors.)
Me: “Hello! How are you tonight, do you need any assistance?”
Lady: “No, I’m fine, I’m just going to sit here.”
Me: “Okay, then.”
(She sits there until about 9 o clock until a bagboy comes out with a vacuum cleaner…he proceeds to do his job.)
Lady: “AAAH!!! What is that? What is that horrible noise? I can’t take it! I can’t take it!” *Walks up to the bagboy* “What are you doing? Stop it! Stop it!”
Bagboy: “I’m just vacuuming the rugs…”
Lady: “Stop it! I can’t take this noise! Why are you doing this?!”
Me and the other cashiers: “…”
(She goes back to sit down and doesn’t leave until late. Our managers come out and forbid the bagboys from vacuuming while she is there. She then proceeds for a couple more times that week to come in at 8 o’clock and if some bagboy even brought out the vacuum cleaner, unaware of who she is, they get an earful about the horrible noise that afflicts her.)
Grocery Store | Bellingham, WA, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how may I direct your call?”
Lady: “Can I get your Orient kitchen?”
(I put her on hold, page the kitchen. 30 seconds later, the phone rings.)
Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how may I direct your call?”
Same lady: “Yeah, I was holding for the Orient kitchen, I think I got disconnected.”
Me: “Just a sec.”
(I put her on hold again, page the kitchen again. 30 seconds later, phone rings again.)
Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how may I direct your call?”
Same lady: “You keep hanging up on me! Every time I call for the kitchen, you hang up on me.”
Me: “Ma’am, I am putting you on hold.”
Lady: “No, you keep hanging up on me. You say hold and then there’s silence.”
Me: “If I was hanging up on you, you would hear a dial tone. The silence is you being on hold. So if you wait a minute, I will get the kitchen for you.”
Lady: “Okay.”
Me: “Now, there is going to be silence. This isn’t me hanging up on you. You are being put on hold. Just wait and someone will pick up the phone. ”
Lady: “Thank you.”
(I put her on hold and turn to see my co-workers laughing at me behind my back. I question the state of humanity.)
Grocery Store Deli Counter | Philadelphia, PA, USA
Me: “Hi there ma’am, what can I get for you today?”
Customer, with her young son: “Yeah, could I have a piece of that bologna so my son can taste it?”
Me: “Sure, would you like to try it too?”
Customer: “Oh no thanks. I just want to see if my son is allergic.”
Me: “…”
Grocery Store | Salem, NH, USA
(I’m working at the cigarette counter. I wear glasses–this is critical.)
Me: “How can I help you today?”
(Customer is clearly not from this country and speaks in broken English with a thick accent.)
Customer: “Glasses!” *points at my face* “Glasses!”
Me: “You like my glasses?”
Customer: “No glasses. No glasses!”
Me: “You don’t like my glasses.”
Customer: “Not you. No glasses.”
Me: “Not me? No glasses? You want someone without glasses?”
Customer: “Yes. No glasses!”
(I look over at another cashier and a nearby register who heard everything and have her switch with me. Meanwhile everyone around us is cracking up laughing.)
Grocery Store | Old Bridge, NJ, USA
Customer: “I’d like to return these ice pops.”
Me: “Ok, I just need to see your receipt.”
(I take the box of ice pops.)
Me: “…this is an empty box!”
Customer: “Well, we ate them. Some of them taste good, but some of them had a weird taste, so we threw them out.”
Me: “I can’t give you money back on something you already ate.”
Customer: “Why are you so difficult?! I’m never shopping here again!”
Grocery Store | Bellingham, WA, USA
(Referring to the payment terminal)
Customer: “It’s not working. Whats wrong with it?”
Me: “What does it say?”
Customer: “It says, ‘Please slide card again’.”
Me: “Well, then slide your card again.”
Customer: “Oh, okay.”
(She slides her card. It works.)
Customer: “Hey it worked!”
(182 Thumbs Up!)
