I’m the morning cashier, and I have an extremely sore throat. To save the pain, I keep my talking to a minimum to the customers, just saying hello and asking the necessary questions.

I ring up around five customers and hit a quiet patch, and then my manager calls me into the training room.

Manager: “The last customer you rang up complained about you.”

Me: “Really? No one seemed mad to me.”

Manager: “She said that you were quiet and unfriendly to her.”

Me: “I’m always quiet! And I have a sore throat!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, and I understand. I just have to let you know about it. You’re not in trouble.”

First of all, just because someone is quiet, it doesn’t mean they’re rude.

Second of all, if that whiny lady wanted a conversation so badly, why didn’t she just talk to me during the transaction?! She was as quiet as I was!

A lady comes up to the register with a frozen pizza. We currently have a deal where you buy one and get one free. I ring up the lady’s pizza and give her the total.

Lady: “Why isn’t it half-price? If they’re buy-one-get-one-free, I should be able to get just one for half-price!”

She was LIVID when I told her that wasn’t allowed.

Our supermarket has a regular who got into an accident and now requires the use of a wheelchair. After a few months of therapy, he’s back in our store with his new wheelchair, and he’s showing us all the effort he’s made to become independent. I am checking out his items while chatting. My lane is designed to be more helpful to wheelchair users, with an inclined conveyor belt.

Regular: “Yeah, it was pretty dark for a while, but now I realise I can get around just as much as I did before. Plus, it really builds up some great upper body strength!”

Me: “Yes, I can see that! You zoomed around the store like it was a race!”

As we’re chatting, he passes me a canned item and he accidentally drops it. I offer to go around to pick it up but the regular puts up his hand.

Regular: “Nope, I can get it. Just takes a quick moment.”

As the regular manoeuvres himself a little to pick up the can, the customer behind him tuts intentionally loudly.

Customer: “Just get it for him. He’s just trying to show off, but all he’s doing is wasting my time!”

Me: “Sir, there’s no need for that!”

The regular is able to pick up the can quite quickly and is now turning the wheelchair back around.

Customer: “Ugh. I knew I made a mistake getting into a lane for the crippleds and specials.”

Me: *Loudly* “So, you’re saying that his disability is not as important as your convenience?”

Customer: “Hey! Don’t make me sound like an ar**hole!”

Me: “I’m certainly not doing that, sir!”

I checked that b*****d’s items out super slowly on purpose.

I worked in the paper goods/chemical and pet departments, which are on completely opposite sides of the store. One day, I was cleaning the fish tanks and heard my name called over my radio to attend to a customer in the paper goods aisle.

It took me about five minutes to dry off my hands, put away the cleaning supplies, and walk over. There was an old couple who had been in the last few nights complaining that we were out of the type of tissues with aloe that they desired. I had made an effort with my overseeing managers to order what they wanted for them, and I remembered stocking the product early that morning, so I was a little confused as to why they were still upset.

I went and got them a box and explained that I’d had my manager order it for them. The old man took the box from my hand and crushed it.

Old Man: “We wanted the three-pack!”

They stormed off.

As a manager, I handle returns and complaints.

Customer: “I want to return this food.”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “Oh, nothing really. I was buying for a party and wasn’t sure how many were coming. It wasn’t all eaten.”

Me: “Yes, but some of it was. I can’t return this.”

Customer: “Yes, you can!”

Me: “Ma’am, you have half-eaten bags of potato chips, packs of hot dogs with one missing, and twelve-packs of soda with some cans gone. These are opened items and I cannot return them unless there was a defect.”

Customer: “But they weren’t all eaten!”

Me: “Then it’s a good thing you can take this all home and eat it.”

She huffed and stormed out. I wonder why her party was undersubscribed…