Be Open-Minded About Holiday Closing

| KY, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It is Christmas Eve and we are closing at six pm. The manager is standing by the front door telling the customers we are closing in five minutes. A customer runs in.)

Manager: “Excuse me, ma’am. Just to let you know we are closing in five minutes.”

Customer: “But I have a lot I need to get.”

Manager:  “Yes but we are closing at six pm so our employees can be with their families tonight.”

Customer: *in a huff* “Well, in that case I am going to [Competitor] across the street.”

Manager: “Then you’d best hurry; they are closing at six tonight, too.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Manager: “Because it’s Christmas Eve and their employees want to be with their families, too.”

Customer: “Well, what time do you open tomorrow?”

Manager: “We’re closed all day tomorrow. It’s Christmas.”

Customer: “What about [Competitor]?”

Manager: “They’re closed, too. Same reason.”

Customer: “Well, that is so rude!”

(The customer storms off. The manager locks the door after her.)

Manager: “I haven’t worked retail for 38 years for nothing.”

Chickening Out Of New Years

| IA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I’m the on duty manager at a small town grocery store. We have a full service deli that offers roasted chicken and potato wedges. Normally it closes at seven in the evening to allow clean up time before the store closes at nine, but on New Year’s Eve, food service stopped at five. Around 6:30, a pair of women approach the deli counter, I’m one aisle over working on some stock with a coworker.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, we would like a 16-piece chicken.”

Customer #2: “And two large orders of potato wedges!”

Deli Worker: “I’m sorry; we stopped serving food at five tonight. We’re closing the deli up early because it’s New Years Eve.”

Customer #1: “We called in earlier and talked to the manager. He said you were open until seven!”

(I didn’t talk on the phone at all that night.)

Deli Worker: “Well, let me call the manager over here. He’ll sort this out for you.”

(I come over.)

Me: “Yes, ladies, what can I do for you?”

Customer #1: “We called in earlier and the manager said the deli was open until seven.”

Customer #2: “And we have a party of eight people waiting for us to come back with chicken to eat.”

Me: “Well, I’ve been the manager all day. I got here at 11 this morning and have yet to speak to a single customer on the phone. If you talked to the opening manager, I apologize if you received the wrong information. However, I can’t give you any chicken because we don’t have any. It also helps to call ahead on orders of this size because we don’t always have 16 pieces fresh and ready to go at half an hour to closing the deli.”

Customer #1: “We come here all the time, [My Name], you know that. You carry my groceries out. Isn’t there something you can do to help out a loyal customer?”

Me: “I’m sorry. You’re lucky that [Deli Worker] is even still here. She actually was just about to clock out when you got here.”

Customer #2: “This is outrageous! How are we supposed to serve eight people food now?”

Me: “Well, in town there’s three different stores that sell pizza for carry out, and they’re all down Main Street. Otherwise, the sandwich shop is open until 10 tonight, and even here in the store we have all sorts of food.”

Customer #1: “We could probably try [Pizza Place]…”

Customer #2: “Better idea! How about we buy four frozen pizzas and you just put them in the oven for us in the deli!”

(Customer #1, Deli Worker, and I all stare at Customer #2.)

Customer #2: “I demand your service!”

(Customer #1 ended up talking Customer #2 down and they ended up buying four frozen pizzas and taking them home.)

Have A Merry Capitalist Christmas

| AB, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a small town where 99% of the population is Christian. A customer phones the store to place an order for buns for Christmas.)

Me: “When would you like to pick up your order, ma’am?”

Customer: “Are you open Christmas Day?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we’re closed.”

Customer: *obviously upset* “Well then, I guess I’ll just have to get them the day before. You’re open until 11, right?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’m sorry, but we close at six for Christmas.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. Don’t you want to make money?”

Christmas In A Bun-dance

| AB, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(A customer is in the store on Christmas Eve about 10 minutes before we close. Everything has been pretty picked over by this point.)

Customer: “Where are all your buns?”

Me: “I’m sorry but we sold out today.”

Customer: “But it’s Christmas! Why didn’t you make more buns?”

Me: “We did, but it’s hard to tell how many buns we will need, especially for the holiday.”

Customer: “Great, now my Christmas is ruined.”

Gallons Of Stupidity

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a well known grocery store, mainly working to direct searching customers to their desired products. I am walking down the dairy aisle. I spot two teenagers waiting for a time. The first customer is holding cartons of milk in his hands, and the second customer is holding out a smart phone.)

Me: “Do you two need any help right now?”

Customer #1: “Actually… um, yeah…”

(Customer #1 suddenly nods to Customer #2, who raises his smartphone. I can hear the sound from his that signals the record button being pressed. At this point, I’m starting to catch on that this is a gallon smashing prank.)

Customer #1: “Woah, woah, woah!”

(He badly acts that he’s accidentally falling, and tosses the containers of milk into the sky, and he falls flat on his back. The cartons hit the floor, but don’t shatter or release milk.)

Customer #2: “Crap!”

Customer #1: “We need to redo that!”

(I’m just standing in amazement about how bad these two are at pranking someone.)

Me: “Sir, if you keep intentionally keep damaging our products, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Customer #1: “It was an accident! I just slipped!”

Me: “What about your friend over there recording?”

Customer #2: “I’m just… taking a selfie!”

(I start rolling my eyes, and go to pick up the cartons of milk. Out of nowhere, Customer #1 grabs the cartons of milk off the floor and tosses them up again. Again, nothing happens as they hit the floor.)

Customer #2: “S***! We need another take!”

Customer #1: “C’mon, just let us have one more try?”

Me: “No. Get out of this store now, or I’ll call security for multiple attempts of destruction of property.”

(The two teenagers quickly scurry out of the store, Customer #1 even tripping once during the way out.)

Coworker: “Did those two try to do a gallon prank with cartons?”

Me: “The world may never know.”

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