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    Self-Expression Lane

    | New Braunfels, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

    (At my store, we try to send out baggers with customers who have the electric carts so they can bring them back inside and keep them charged. We don’t keep baggers on our express ’10-items-or-less’ lanes, so I call down to another register to have a bagger help out the customer I’ve just checked out.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am, someone will be down in just a moment to help you outside. Have a good rest of your day!”

    Customer: “Thank you!”

    (The customer scoots up a little bit, but not completely out of the line. I begin ringing up customer behind her while the bagger makes her way over to my end of checkout. A customer in my line starts yelling.)

    Yelling Customer: “Lady, you need to move!”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Yelling Customer: “Get out of the way; you’re holding everyone up! You’re not the only person in this store you know!”

    (The bagger arrives about this time, and she and the elderly customer proceed outside. I continue checking out people and eventually reach the man who was yelling at the woman. He proceeds to unload his cart and clearly has way more than 10 items.)

    Yelling Customer: “Wow, some people are just so inconsiderate. They act like they’re the only people on Earth. They just don’t care!”

    Me: “You’re very right. I find there are many folks who are unable to count to 10 as well.”

    Yelling Customer: *shuts up*

    The Customer Is Not Always Related

    | Natchitoches, LA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Love/Romance

    (My boyfriend and I are picking up some groceries for his apartment. We see one of his friends and he decides to stop and chat. We stand there talking for about fifteen minutes and by this time I am hungry. To signal him that I want to leave, I put my hand in his back pocket.)

    Customer: “You should be ashamed.”

    (My boyfriend and I turn to see an older woman scowling at us.)

    Boyfriend: “All she did was put her hand in my pocket so I would shut up so that we can leave.”

    Customer: “She’s your sister, and you should be ashamed!”

    Me: “He’s not my brother; he’s my boyfriend.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie! I can see the resemblance! You shouldn’t grab your brother that way! It’s disgusting!”

    Boyfriend: “Look, lady, we are not related. Go bother someone else with your crazy.”

    Customer: “I am not crazy!”

    (The customer approaches my boyfriend’s friend.)

    Customer: “They’re siblings, aren’t they!?”

    Boyfriend’s Friend: “If that’s true, it’s news to me and I’ve known [boyfriend] for quite a long time. As far as I know, he only has one sister and she is much younger.”

    Customer: “LIES! YOU’RE ALL LIARS!” *runs off*

    Scaring Is Caring

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Themed Giveaway

    (A young mom with a five- or six-year-old girl approach my register.)

    Me: “How are you today?”

    Mom: “I’m fine, thanks.”

    Girl: “I’m scared!”

    Me: *to girl* “What are you scared of?”

    Girl: “You!”

    Me: “Me?”

    (Her mom and I look at each other, giggling a bit.)

    Me: “Would I be less scary if I gave you a sticker?”

    Girl: “No.”

    Me: “Would you like a sticker anyway?”

    Girl: “Okay.”

    (I finish up the transaction, and they walk towards the exit.)

    Me: “Thanks! Bye, scaredy-cat!”

    Girl: “Bye, strange lady!”

    (She was so cute; I’m still giggling.)

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 3

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a gas station. A construction company has accidentally knocked out our power. After getting the store closed up and the closed signs are posted to the doors, we wait for the power to be restored. A customer parks her car at the gas pumps, walks to the entrance, and pounds on the door.)

    Me: “I’m sorry; we’ve experienced a power outage and we’re closed for a few more hours.”

    Customer: “I need to get gas.”

    Me: I’m sorry, but as I said, we’re closed at the moment. I hate to do it, but I have to send you to the gas station across the street.

    Customer: “Don’t you have a key to the register? Why can’t you take my money and let me get my gas? Everybody else does it manually.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you don’t seem to understand. Without electricity, the gas pump won’t work. I wish we could help you, but we can’t right now.”

    Customer: “Well, I know the owner of this store personally. And you can tell him I am very dissatisfied with the service from his employees. He won’t like this at all.”

    Me: *smiling* “Ma’am, he’s actually right here, and you can speak with him yourself.”

    (I step aside, and the owner of the store, who has been listening, walks to the front door.)

    Owner: “I’m sorry, but who are you? The power is out right now and we’re closed!”

    (The owner pulls the door closed, locks it, and walks away from the very embarrassed customer.)

    Related:
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 2
    Getting Owned By The Owner

    And The Children Shall Lead

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (I am cleaning off my register, when I hear two customers arguing in my line.)

    Customer #1: “I was here first!”

    Customer #2: “No, I was!”

    Customer #1: “I WAS! I was here literally five seconds before you, b****! It’s my turn!”

    (Customer #2 rams her cart into Customer #1′s and gets ahead.)

    Customer #2: “I win!”

    (Customer #1 flips her off and goes to the next lane. I’m not really sure what to do, so I just start ringing up her groceries.)

    Me: “And how are you today?”

    Customer #2: “Oh, just fine! Can you believe the childish things people will do just to get ahead in line? I mean really!”


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