Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,336 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    All Husbands Must Be Kept On A Leash

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada |

    (Note: I was one of the quickest and most efficient cashiers at my store, and often received positive comments about this from the customers.)

    Wife: “My, you’re just whizzing along! I can’t believe how fast you are!”

    Husband: “Didn’t you know? That’s the store’s new policy. They only hire fast women.”

    Me: *chuckles good-naturedly*

    Wife: “Don’t mind my husband. We only let him out on weekends.”

    Related:
    Behind Every Man Is An Embarrassed Wife
    Behind Every Husband Is A Brutally Honest Wife

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

    It’s Not Exactly Rocket Science, Part 2

    | Boynton Beach, FL, USA |

    *lady swipes her card*

    Lady: “Which button do I press? Credit or debit?”

    Me: “Is it a debit or credit card?”

    Lady: “Credit.”

    Me: *face meet palm*

    Related:
    It’s Not Exactly Rocket Science

    Math Is Your Friend, Part 3

    | Mankato, MN, USA |

    (We were having a sale: 4 bags of liquorish for $12. I ring each bag up individually, and it shows up as $3 a bag.)

    Customer: “I don’t want those if they come up to $3 a bag. It said they were 4 for $12.”

    Me: “But if you’re buying 4, at $3 a piece, that’s $12.”

    Customer: “No, that’s $3 a bag. I want all 4 for $12!”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Related:
    Math Is Your Friend, Part 2
    Math Is Your Friend

    The Sweet, Slightly Nutty Taste Of Surrender

    | Austin, TX, USA | Top

    Customer: “Where are your walnuts?”

    Me: “It’s over with the other nuts.”

    Customer: “I didn’t see them.”

    Me: “They’re next to the cashews. Trust me, when you see them, you will laugh.”

    (Time passes, I finish filling my bin and wade through Christmas crowd to check on the customer. I find her standing right in front of the walnuts. She’s clearly found them.)

    Me: “You found them.”

    Customer: “Yeah. I couldn’t see them because the sign was in the way.”

    (Note she’s referring to a large, 18 inch sign with three inch wide red letters that read WALNUTS. It was added because customers complained they couldn’t find them.)

    Me: “You couldn’t see the walnuts because of the sign that said WALNUTS?”

    Customer: *angry* “Yeah, that’s right!”

    Me: “I…can’t help you.”

    Comic Book Guy’s Alter Ego

    | Norwalk, CT, USA |

    Man: *in a terrible French accent* “Ha-ha! I am the Butterfinger Crisp Bandit!”

    Me: “That’s nice.”

    Man: “May the Butterfinger Crisp Bandit get these for free?”

    Me: “Um…no.”

    Man: “Why not? I am the Butterfinger Crisp Bandit! I should always get them for free!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give these to you for free. Two dollars.”

    Man: “Why the h*ll not?”

    Me: “Because I could lose my job.”

    (The man growls, and sluggishly hands over two dollars.)

    Man: “The Butterfinger Crisp Bandit should not have to pay, but he will…this time…”

    Related:
    Like Comic Book Guy, Except Much Prettier

    Page 105/110First...103104105106107...Last