Always Right, Even When Devouring Your Mortal Soul

| Lynnwood, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(A teenage customer comes up to my checkout with a bag of chips.)

Customer: “This job must suck, am I right?”

Me: “It’s ok. It’s not horrible. I get paid to tell people how much to pay and sit around most the time. It’s pretty slow this time of day.”

Customer: “You should get out of here and go to college! Get an education!”

Me: “Sir, I’m already in college. This job and one other is paying for me to go to college, as well as my rent.”

Customer: “Hey! The customer is always right! You can’t correct me! And if I didn’t eat junk food, then I would eat your soul! How much for this?”

Me: “$1.08, sir.”

Customer: *pays and leaves*

Coworker, to me: “Did he just say he was going to eat your soul?”

Lacking The Most Important Sense Of All: Common

| Sugar Land, TX, USA | Top

(At my store, we have several baggers that are deaf. On this day, one of them was bagging for me and I was running a register.)

Customer: *to bagger* “Excuse me, where is the mens’ room?”

Bagger: *motions that he is deaf and cannot hear him*

Customer: “I SAID where is the mens’ room?!”

Bagger: *points to the sign on his nametag stating he is deaf*

Customer: “Aren’t you going to tell me where the mens’ room is?!”

Me: “Sir, he can’t hear you; he’s deaf.”

Customer: “Why is he so f***ing rude? I asked him a question; he could just TELL me he’s deaf.”

Me: “Sir, the mens’ room is over there.” *points*

Customer: *to bagger* “You should’ve told me you’re deaf. It’s rude to not answer people like that.”

Me: *signs to bagger to tell him what the customer said*

Bagger: *signs back, “What an idiot!”*

Seriously, Folks, No More Cuts To Education

| Temple Terrace, FL, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks up to me for assistance while I’m in aisle 14 of the grocery store.)

Me: “Ma’am, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I need to find bread crumbs.”

Me: “Okay, well there are some on aisle 7 and also some in the bakery. Would you like me to show you?”

Customer: “No, I’ll go find it. Is aisle 7 above or below aisle 14? I’m not real good at math.”

Me: “Ma’am, I better show you where it is…”

Becoming Familiar With Fiber

| Texas, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

(My dad was standing in an express line at the grocery store. In front of him was a well-to-do-looking woman, who clearly had several more items than the limit.)

Dad: “You know, it’s amazing that someone who is apparently so successful can’t read.”

Woman: *in a huff* “That sign’s for regular people, not for me!”

(An old man behind my dad taps him on the shoulder.)

Old man: “Here, give her this.”

(My dad hands it to the woman.)

Woman: “What’s this?”

Old man: “Metamucil. It’ll make you regular.”

A Sleepwalk To Remember

| Nova Scotia, Canada | Uncategorized

(I work in customer service, where tobacco products and lottery tickets are purchased.)

Me: “Do you need any cigarettes or lotto with that today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Excuse me?!”

Me: “Do you need any cigarettes or lotto today?”

Customer: “What do you mean by that?”

Me: “…do you need to purchase any cigarettes or lotto today?”

Customer: “But, what do you mean by that?”

Me: “I mean…do you want to buy cigarettes or lotto today?”

Customer: *blank stare* “What?”

Me: “Do you know what cigarettes and lotto are?”

Customer: *shakes head* “Um…” *confused look*

(I explain to her what cigarettes and lotto are, then I ring the lady’s purchase in and put it in a bag. She punches in her number for her debit card but stops halfway through and looks at me.)

Customer: “Aw crap, I forgot to buy my cigarettes.”

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