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    Too Much Of A Good Thing

    | Tulsa, OK, USA |

    Customer: “Where is your manager?”

    Me: “Sir, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “These cones are the problem. There are too many.”

    Me: “You bought too many cones?”

    Customer: “Kid, read this for me. That box says 12 cones, right? Well I bought it for my daughter’s birthday party yesterday and opened it up to find 14 cones. That’s false advertising! I could sue your a** off for doing that. Now get me the g**d**n manager!”

    Me: “Sir, please accept my sincerest apologies for any inconvenience you may have suffered.”

    (I open the box, remove two cones, and hand it back to him.)

    Customer: *muttering* “A man’s got to get his money’s worth…”

    She Who Wears The Pants

    | Dover, DE, USA |

    Customer: “… and I’d like a pack of cigarettes.”

    Customer’s wife: “No, he doesn’t.”

    Customer: “Yes, I do.”

    Customer’s wife: “You don’t need them.”

    Customer: “Yes, I do.”

    Customer’s wife: “No, you don’t.”

    Me: “No offense, sir, but she’s scarier than you are.”

    Customer’s wife: “D*** straight!”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

    Be Careful What You Ask For

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

    Customer: “I want a wheat sandwich, with everything you like in it.”

    Me: “Um, sir… you will be the one eating the sandwich, not me.”

    Customer: “I SAID I wanted a wheat sandwich with whatever YOU like in it.”

    Me: “Um… what kind of meat?”

    Customer: “Didn’t you just hear what I said? WHEAT SANDWICH WITH WHATEVER YOU WANT ON IT!”

    (I make the sandwich for the customer.)

    Customer: “That wasn’t so hard now, was it?!” *walks away*

    Coworker: “So… you like extra mustard and everything on it, especially jalapenos?”

    Me: *smiling* “I don’t like mustard, I don’t like hot stuff, and I hope he has a terrible nice time in the bathroom.”

    My Fellow Americans, You Are Crazy

    | New Hampshire, USA |

    Me: “That will be $**.**”

    Customer: “Why’d your prices go up?”

    Me: “Well, the cigarette tax just just went up.”

    Customer: “This sounds illegal.”

    Me: “The state tax on cigarettes just went up. We don’t have control over that.”

    Customer: “I know the President of the United States. ¬†I think I’m gonna give him a call.”

    Me: “Okay… have a nice day.”

    Cheapskates: FAIL

    | New Brunswick, Canada |

    Customer: “Hey, can I get these rolls at a discount?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry sir, it’s only 6:00. We don’t discount the bags until right before close.”

    Customer: “Well, the girl last night let me do it!”

    Me: “Sir, I was working last night, and no, I did not.”

    Customer: “Alright, it was the night before! That girl!”

    Me: “Richard?”

    Customer: *slinks away*

    Related:
    Guilt Trip: FAIL
    Impersonating Your Boss: FAIL

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