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    Honest About His Scam

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Money, Themed Giveaway

    (An eight-year-old boy has been pulling the same scam about three days a week for almost a month. He comes to the checkout with a few items and is always around $2 short. He freezes like a deer in headlights when asked if he would like to put an item back or go get more money. He’s gotten the act down so well, almost every time another customer feels bad for him and offers him the $2.)

    Me: “Okay, the total is $12.12.”

    Child: “I only have a $10.”

    Me: “Do you want to put this back?” *holds up item* “It’s $2.19, so then you’d have enough.”

    Child: “Ummmm. I don’t know. My mom needs it. She said to get these six things.”

    Me: “You can go home and get the $2.12. I’ll hold these things here and you can come back to me and pay.”

    Child: “Ummmm… I don’t…”

    (Just then, a customer behind him speaks up.)

    Customer: “I’ll give it to him.”

    Me: “No. He does this all the time. We aren’t allowing other customers to pay anymore.”

    Customer: “It’s just $2.”

    Me: “Right, but he’s probably made $100 this month doing this same thing. We won’t allow any other customers to cover his groceries.” *turns to child* “You’ll need to go home and ask your mom what she wants you to do.”

    (About 10 minutes later, the boy returns. I figure the boy has been pocketing the money, but it turns out he hasn’t.)

    Child: “My mom said to get the money from another customer. She says they always give it to me, and why can’t I get someone to give it to me this time?”

    Although He Uses A Lot Of Ranch

    | Syracuse, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (There is a customer coming through my line that is wearing cowboy clothing complete with 10-gallon hat, shiny belt buckle, and cowboy boots. There is another customer with a young boy standing behind them. I watch as the boy yanks on his mother’s skirt and points to the man in front.)

    Young Boy: “Excuse me, sir; are you a REAL cowboy?”

    Customer: *in a thick Texas drawl* “Why yes little man I am, but I only got to be a real cowboy because I ate all my vegetables and listened to my mother.”

    (The customer then tips his hat to the mother and leaves. The boy does nothing but gush about his cowboy experience.)

    Young Boy: “Mom! Go get more vegetables!”

    The First And True Language Of America

    | Santa Fe, NM, USA | Bigotry, History, Language & Words, Top

    (I’m waiting in line behind a woman speaking on her cellphone in another language. Ahead of her is a white man. After the woman hangs up, he speaks up.)

    Man: “I didn’t want to say anything while you were on the phone, but you’re in America now. You need to speak English.”

    Woman: “Excuse me?”

    Man: *very slow* “If you want to speak Mexican, go back to Mexico. In America, we speak English.”

    Woman: “Sir, I was speaking Navajo. If you want to speak English, go back to England.”

    Some People Never Change

    | UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I’m on my first shift at a new grocery store job as a cashier. The store isn’t very busy, and things have been running quite smoothly. A middle-aged customer and her teenage daughter approach my register. I ring her up and bag her items.)

    Me: “That will be £8.90, please.”

    (While smiling sweetly at me, she hands me £10. I give her the appropriate change and receipt.)

    Woman: “Um, excuse me, trainee, but I handed you a £20 note.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry, I’ll just check that for you.”

    (During the transaction, I had opened only the register to put her £10 inside. Due to store policy, all £20 notes have to be put in a security box under the register. Therefore, no £20 notes are in the register at all. I apologize, and explain this to her. She is all the while still smiling sweetly.)

    Woman: “No, stupid girl, it was definitely a 20, wasn’t it?” *turns to her daughter*

    Daughter: “Yeah, I saw it.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but there is absolutely no physical £20 note in my cash register. Please, feel free to look.”

    (She leans over and looks, then withdraws, still smiling.)

    Woman: “Well, you must have just pocketed it while I wasn’t looking. Let’s not drag this out, honey. I’m not leaving until I get my change.”

    (At this point, I call over my supervisor to help me deal with the situation. The woman explains her stance and I tell him exactly what I informed the customer. My supervisor explains that he would be more than happy to review security footage if she suspects theft. At this point her smile seems to disintegrate.)

    Woman: “I really don’t have the time for this nonsense. If my hard-earned money means so much to that tramp then she can keep it.”

    (The woman finally picks up her bag and leaves, her daughter following briskly, but not before telling me to ‘get a life.’ My supervisor leans in and speaks in a low voice.)

    Supervisor: “Don’t worry about her. The girl she was with does the same thing whenever there’s a new face on a register. Now I see where she gets it from.”

    The Bald And The Beautiful

    | Roseville, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I’m stocking food in one of the grocery aisles. At the opposite end of the aisle are two teenage boys and a pair of bald women customers. One of the customers has dark brown patches on her scalp and is wearing sunglasses. The other has clear skin, is wearing a nice dress and extravagant earrings. I’m a male with alopecia, so seeing young, balding people doesn’t really mystify me. The two teenage boys start to point and laugh at them.)

    Teenage Boy #1: “Man, these two d***’s think they look so good! Bald b**** trying to look girly; she’d look hot if she didn’t have a nasty man head!”

    Teenage Boy #2: “Look at the nasty spots on her head!”

    Teenage Boy #1: “Nasty spotty b**** with her nasty lesbian friend!”

    (Horrified, I start to storm over to stop this, when the customer with patchy skin whips around, mere inches from the teenage boy’s faces and speaks through gritted teeth.)

    Customer #1: “I have f****** cancer! Metastatic breast cancer. I probably don’t have very long to f****** live. These ‘nasty spots’ are lesions. My best friend shaved her head to support me. She’s the best support system you could f****** ask for, and if you two have a support system in making fun of two women whose lives you don’t even know, then I’m sorry for you. So, I’ll thank you to hold off on these comments in the future, just in case the people you’re berating are either dying or about to lose someone they love.”

    (The color leaves the boys faces, and they hang their heads low, while the women walk down the aisle toward me. Customer #2 turns back to them.)

    Customer #2: “Oh, and even if we were bald lesbians, you still had better keep your d*** mouths shut!”

    (As they walk past me, I tip my hat off to them to reveal my smooth, shiny head. The women high five me, and walk to the next aisle arm in arm.)


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