Wants To Have Her Cake And Eat It

| MT, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work as a cake decorator. A woman and her seven-year-old daughter come into the store to order a birthday cake for the girl. The mother argues with her daughter over which cake to get, consents to let the girl have the cake she wants, places the order, then returns a couple days later with her daughter to pick up her order.)

Customer: “This isn’t the cake I ordered.”

(I proceed to go over the order form with her. We have a policy of reading back each order when it is placed to make sure we have all the information, and the customer had previously confirmed that the order was accurate. As I am the one who took the order, I know for a fact that I did this.)

Me: “According to your order form you ordered [cake decoration pack] in white buttercream, with “Happy Birthday [Daughter].”

Customer: “No, I ordered [other decoration pack], not this one! I want this cake for free since you messed up on it!”

Daughter: “Mom, we ordered this one, because this is the one I wanted!”

Customer: “No, I didn’t want this one. I wanted the other one!”

(I show the little girl her cake.)

Me: “Is this what you wanted your cake to look like?”

Daughter: “Yes! It’s perfect!”

Me: “Okay, here you go! You have a wonderful birthday!”

(I handed the cake to the girl, who was clearly impressed by the job we did. The mother glared at me and my coworkers before conceding victory to her daughter, then left to pay for the cake.)

Mishearing Can Be A B****

| RI, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(I’m stocking cheese and sometimes it’s difficult to hear customers clearly with the fans running in the coolers.)

Customer: “Hey, b****!”

(I turn and see a little old man, smiling politely and I’m sure I must have heard him wrong. He asks for the bread aisle, I send him on his way and he thanks me. Another customer rushes out of an aisle toward me.)

Other Customer : “I can’t believe you helped that guy after he called you a b****!”

Me: “You heard that, too?!”

100% Party People

| NY, USA | Food & Drink

(I work in a popular grocery store known for its specialty food, customer services, and low prices. As a result, people tend to assume we will know everything about specialty items that we don’t actually carry. A woman and her husband approach me.)

Customer: “Hi. Do you have a thing with figs that you can serve at a party?”

Me: “Sure, we might. What kind of thing are you looking for?”

Customer: “Well, it’s got figs and you can serve a lot of it at a party.”

Me: “Okay. Is it a cracker or a cookie or a chip?”

Customer: “Yes. But it’s not one of those.”

Me: “So, not like a fig newton?”

Customer’s Husband: “A fig newton is a cookie!”

Me: “So, can you describe it in anymore detail?”

Customer: “Sure, it’s got figs and you can serve it at a party.”

Customer’s Husband: “You have to say more than just ‘figs.'”

Me: “What is it made from?”

Customer: “Well, this one was made of figs.”

Me: “Okay. And…?”

Customer: “…and you can put it on a big platter and serve a lot of it at a party.”

(I don’t think her husband knew what she was talking about, either. Eventually I sent her in the direction of the dried figs. She never came back around to me, so hopefully she found what she was looking for without repeating the words “fig” and “party” to another crew member.)

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 2

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I work in the meat and seafood section of my store. My department closes at 10 pm, but the store itself is open until midnight. It is 10:15 pm and I am finishing cleaning when a customer approaches.)

Customer: “Can I get two pounds of catfish?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re closed.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me. The doors aren’t locked, the lights are still on, and you’re still here. I want two pounds of catfish.”

Me: “The store is open until midnight, yes. But my department closes at 10 o’clock.”

Customer: “I thought I told you not to lie to me! That’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard! The department closing before the store does; do you think I’m stupid or something?!”

Me: *trying not to take the bait* “I’m afraid that’s just how it is, sir. Seafood counter closes at 10.”

Customer: “DON’T F***ING LIE TO ME! YOU HAVE TO SERVE ME! I’M STANDING RIGHT HERE!”

Me: “Yes, I can see that you’re standing right there. However, your standing there has no bearing on the time we shut down this department.”

Customer: “I’M STANDING RIGHT HERE! YOU HAVE TO SERVE ME! I WANT TWO POUNDS OF CATFISH!”

(I put a sign that says CLOSED on the counter. The customer screamed in inarticulate rage and punched my glass display case. He screamed again in pain and ran away clutching his hand, shouting about how he would sue me for assault.)

Your Explanation Has Been Declined

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(We are in the middle of a huge rush where all of the lines are full. We were trying to get customers out as quickly as possible. This customer has only a few items and her total is about $12. She slides her card, and it is declined. I always try to be polite and couth about it when this happens.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. It didn’t like your card. Would you like to try it again?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The register didn’t want to take your card. You can try running it again, though, if you want.”

Customer: “Does this happen a lot?”

Me: “It happens sometimes.”

Customer: *suddenly angry and much louder* “This is ridiculous! You need to fix this! It’s such an inconvenience! This always happens to me at this store! You need to fix your card reader!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s not the reader. It read your card just fine but the purchase didn’t go through.”

Customer: “No! This is terrible customer service! Type it in on your machine!”

Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am. Our system won’t let us and we aren’t allowed. It read your card just fine. It just wasn’t approved.”

Customer: “Why not?! I know I have money on this card! It’s your fault and you have to do something about this!”

Me: “It really isn’t an issue with the card reader or with our system at all. If you want I can suspend this and you can contact your bank to find out what’s going on.”

Customer: “H***, no! I’m not waiting in line again!” *starts fishing money out of her wallet* “This is ridiculous! Get me your manager! You need to fix your machine!”

Me: “Ma’am, it really isn’t mine or the machine’s fault. The problem lies with your card.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t! I know I have money in this account!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t know what the issue is. You can try contacting your ba—”

Customer: “No! What does your screen say?”

Me: “It says it was declined, ma’am.”

(The customer then turned beet red and threw money at me, then gathered up her things and went over to the manager. She yelled at him about how I was rude and embarrassed her by saying her card was declined in front of other customers. My manager never talked to me about it, though, and the next three customers in line all told me to keep my chin up and hang on, and hoped that my shift was almost over. It was, thankfully.)

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