Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • The Offer Is Sub-Standard
    (1,810 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 2

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the meat and seafood section of my store. My department closes at 10 pm, but the store itself is open until midnight. It is 10:15 pm and I am finishing cleaning when a customer approaches.)

    Customer: “Can I get two pounds of catfish?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re closed.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me. The doors aren’t locked, the lights are still on, and you’re still here. I want two pounds of catfish.”

    Me: “The store is open until midnight, yes. But my department closes at 10 o’clock.”

    Customer: “I thought I told you not to lie to me! That’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard! The department closing before the store does; do you think I’m stupid or something?!”

    Me: *trying not to take the bait* “I’m afraid that’s just how it is, sir. Seafood counter closes at 10.”

    Customer: “DON’T F***ING LIE TO ME! YOU HAVE TO SERVE ME! I’M STANDING RIGHT HERE!”

    Me: “Yes, I can see that you’re standing right there. However, your standing there has no bearing on the time we shut down this department.”

    Customer: “I’M STANDING RIGHT HERE! YOU HAVE TO SERVE ME! I WANT TWO POUNDS OF CATFISH!”

    (I put a sign that says CLOSED on the counter. The customer screamed in inarticulate rage and punched my glass display case. He screamed again in pain and ran away clutching his hand, shouting about how he would sue me for assault.)

    Your Explanation Has Been Declined

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (We are in the middle of a huge rush where all of the lines are full. We were trying to get customers out as quickly as possible. This customer has only a few items and her total is about $12. She slides her card, and it is declined. I always try to be polite and couth about it when this happens.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. It didn’t like your card. Would you like to try it again?”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “The register didn’t want to take your card. You can try running it again, though, if you want.”

    Customer: “Does this happen a lot?”

    Me: “It happens sometimes.”

    Customer: *suddenly angry and much louder* “This is ridiculous! You need to fix this! It’s such an inconvenience! This always happens to me at this store! You need to fix your card reader!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s not the reader. It read your card just fine but the purchase didn’t go through.”

    Customer: “No! This is terrible customer service! Type it in on your machine!”

    Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am. Our system won’t let us and we aren’t allowed. It read your card just fine. It just wasn’t approved.”

    Customer: “Why not?! I know I have money on this card! It’s your fault and you have to do something about this!”

    Me: “It really isn’t an issue with the card reader or with our system at all. If you want I can suspend this and you can contact your bank to find out what’s going on.”

    Customer: “H***, no! I’m not waiting in line again!” *starts fishing money out of her wallet* “This is ridiculous! Get me your manager! You need to fix your machine!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it really isn’t mine or the machine’s fault. The problem lies with your card.”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t! I know I have money in this account!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t know what the issue is. You can try contacting your ba—”

    Customer: “No! What does your screen say?”

    Me: “It says it was declined, ma’am.”

    (The customer then turned beet red and threw money at me, then gathered up her things and went over to the manager. She yelled at him about how I was rude and embarrassed her by saying her card was declined in front of other customers. My manager never talked to me about it, though, and the next three customers in line all told me to keep my chin up and hang on, and hoped that my shift was almost over. It was, thankfully.)

    Quantifying Stupidity

    | Ann Arbor, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (We have several self-checkout machines at our store, which I am in charge of. For certain produce, the machine will ask for a quantity.)

    Customer: “EXCUSE ME, MISS!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “The machine isn’t working!”

    (I walk over and notice the machine is asking for a quantity. It says ‘enter the quantity’ both aloud and is also displayed on the screen.)

    Me: “Oh, it just wants to know the quantity.”

    (The customer stares at me blankly.)

    Me: “How many do you have?”

    Customer: “Ohhh!”

    Those Mosquitoes Can Bite Me

    | Dewitt, MI, USA | Family & Kids

    (This happened a couple of summers ago. It had been a wet and warm summer, so the mosquitoes had been abnormally bad. So, when a young two-and-a-half-year-old boy come through my lane I tried to make conversation…)

    Me: “Hi there, buddy!”

    Boy: *big smile* “Hi!”

    Me: “Looks like some mosquitoes bit ‘cha.”

    Boy: “Yeah! Here…”

    (He points to a bite on his arm.)

    Boy: “Here…”

    (He points to another bite on the same arm.)

    Boy: “Here…”

    (He points to yet another bite on the same arm.)

    Boy: “And here!”

    (The last bite is on his middle finger, which he shows me by flipping me off.)

    Both the mother and me: *laughing hysterically*

    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3

    | Virginia, USA | Food & Drink, Geography

    Customer: “Excuse me, I have a question about your wild Alaskan Salmon. Why does it say it’s a product of the United States on it?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

    Customer: “But if it’s a product of the US, then it’s not really Alaskan salmon, right?”

    Me: *speechless* “Um, the label’s correct, ma’am.”

    Customer: “So, then it’s not from Alaska?”

    Me: “Alaska is a part of the United States. The salmon is fresh from Alaska.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay…” *rolls eyes and leaves*

    Related:
    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance