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    Quantifying Stupidity

    | Ann Arbor, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (We have several self-checkout machines at our store, which I am in charge of. For certain produce, the machine will ask for a quantity.)

    Customer: “EXCUSE ME, MISS!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “The machine isn’t working!”

    (I walk over and notice the machine is asking for a quantity. It says ‘enter the quantity’ both aloud and is also displayed on the screen.)

    Me: “Oh, it just wants to know the quantity.”

    (The customer stares at me blankly.)

    Me: “How many do you have?”

    Customer: “Ohhh!”

    Those Mosquitoes Can Bite Me

    | Dewitt, MI, USA | Family & Kids

    (This happened a couple of summers ago. It had been a wet and warm summer, so the mosquitoes had been abnormally bad. So, when a young two-and-a-half-year-old boy come through my lane I tried to make conversation…)

    Me: “Hi there, buddy!”

    Boy: *big smile* “Hi!”

    Me: “Looks like some mosquitoes bit ‘cha.”

    Boy: “Yeah! Here…”

    (He points to a bite on his arm.)

    Boy: “Here…”

    (He points to another bite on the same arm.)

    Boy: “Here…”

    (He points to yet another bite on the same arm.)

    Boy: “And here!”

    (The last bite is on his middle finger, which he shows me by flipping me off.)

    Both the mother and me: *laughing hysterically*

    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3

    | Virginia, USA | Food & Drink, Geography

    Customer: “Excuse me, I have a question about your wild Alaskan Salmon. Why does it say it’s a product of the United States on it?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

    Customer: “But if it’s a product of the US, then it’s not really Alaskan salmon, right?”

    Me: *speechless* “Um, the label’s correct, ma’am.”

    Customer: “So, then it’s not from Alaska?”

    Me: “Alaska is a part of the United States. The salmon is fresh from Alaska.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay…” *rolls eyes and leaves*

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    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance