I work in a little section of a resort gift shop. We have our own cash registers and our own section of things people can buy that’s sort of separate from the rest of the gift shop

I am working the cash register like usual, and our little section is completely empty. This mother comes in with her baby who is wearing a shirt and nothing else — no diaper or pants, just bare butt. She walks right up to the counter, I greet her politely, and she decides to set her child on the counter. We don’t let customers set their kids on the counter at all, let alone bare-a**ed.

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t sit your child on the counter.”

She promptly snatches up her child.

Woman: “IT’S NOT LIKE HE’S HURTING IT!”

And she stormed out of the gift shop while I was standing there, blinking in surprise at how she went from zero to one hundred in the blink of an eye.

And yes, I did thoroughly disinfect the counter after she left.

I’m covering the shop for my brother; they have recently had a baby and need to take time for appointments. Unfortunately, being such a busy time of year, and with a new child, they can’t afford to close the store; even with my limited experience in retail, it is better than nothing, and I’m happy to help.

One thing my brother warns me is that there is a family who will try every trick in the book to get free or discounted stock; they will lie, cheat, and “forget to pay” for everything if they feel that they can get away with it. The only reason he hasn’t banned them is that their family is huge and they send different family members in, even using their children.

I will know them when I see them, and I have full carte-blanch to deal with them.

A familiar-looking family comes in. It’s a small store but there are seven of them. They come in together but quickly split into two groups.

One comes to the till.

Customer #1: “I bought these the other day and they were all broken when I got home. Can I get my money back?”

It’s a figurine; these ones don’t come boxed, so we didn’t sell it broken like this. I restocked the shelves earlier and they don’t look like the ones we sell at the moment. I’m suspicious.

Me: “Do you have a receipt? Or any proof of purchase?”

Customer #1: “No, but I’m in here all the time. I know that the owner wouldn’t want to lose a good customer like me. And the item was broken when I brought it.”

Customer #2: *Walks over* “Sorry to interrupt, miss.” *To me* “Just so you know, this was sitting on the shelf broken; it looks defective.”

She puts down a similar figurine, now snapped in half.

Me: “Okay, I will need a special code to override the till for any return. Please bear with me.”

They smile at each other as I step into the cupboard and check the cameras to see the second woman clearly breaking the figurine. I manage to call the police without the women realising.

Me: “Sorry about that, I’m new.”

I kept them busy, pretending I didn’t know what I was doing until the police turned up. They removed the customer from the shop and took the camera footage. Apparently, it’s a known scam; they buy cheap knock-offs and return them to the store to swap for the real ones or get more money back.

They intimidate workers, threaten them, or just come back and steal something else out of spite. It was a one-family crime wave.

I was working in a gift store in a mall. There was a dude by the incense, and when I walked by, I overheard him say:

Customer: “They make fun of my rituals now, but we’ll see who’s laughing when I burn down that g**d*** mountain!”

And I sometimes wonder what he’s up to. For anyone wondering, despite living in a very dry region, and despite that mountain being one that does catch fire somewhat often during fire season, the mountain did not catch fire that year, despite that crazy dude’s attempts.

Years and years ago, I worked retail as a minor. This was the 1980s, so in some non-corporate businesses, you could get away with this. I looked more grown-up than most kids my age, probably because I dressed more adultly than was usual for a dinky little gift shop.

Customer: “You have to give me a discount! I know the owner! He always gives me 50% off of everything!”

Me: “Lady, I really doubt that.”

Customer: “I know the owner! I’ll get you fired if you don’t give me the discount!”

Me: “Oh, would you, please?! Please get me fired.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “He’s a slave driver! He doesn’t even pay me! I want to be fired!”

Customer: “W-what?”

Me: “The owner is my dad. Now get out. He would never give anyone a 50% discount because we’d be losing money.”

She went all red with embarrassment and rushed out without buying anything. I had to put back everything she had brought to the counter, but it was worth it just to yell at someone. I was the only one in the shop that day since I was covering for my dad, so I knew I wouldn’t get in trouble. And it’s true I wasn’t being “paid,” but my parents paid for my college so that I didn’t have any student loans, so I guess that was fair compensation.

I help run an indoor market stall as an extension of a family friend’s gift and jewelry shop. I’m only fourteen years old — paid under the table — and my only coworker is my boss’s twelve-year-old daughter.

I’m serving an elderly lady, helping her pick out an ornamental plaque with funny sayings on it, as she wants a gift for her friend.

Me: “This one makes me laugh!”

The elderly lady reads it and laughs, too, picking it up as her first “maybe” choice.

Elderly Lady’s Husband: *Sneering at me* “That’s not the only thing making you laugh, is it?”

Me: “Uh… Pardon?”

Elderly Lady’s Husband: “It’s all those drugs you’ve been taking!”

Me: “What?”

Elderly Lady’s Husband: “Don’t try and deny it. I know you’ve been smoking something!”

Me: “Sir, I’ve never smoked so much as a cigarette in my life.”

The elderly lady’s husband calls me a liar and rants about the youth of today being useless drug addicts.

Elderly Lady: *To him “Bugger off if you’re going to be an a**.” *To me* “I’m so sorry, dear. He turned into a curmudgeon about twenty years ago, and he wears that badge like it’s an honor.”

It was one of the most bewildering things that happened to me at that job. Thanks to NAR, I now see that it’s not just me getting random cranky customers!