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    Their Purchasing Power Has Gone Up In Smoke, Part 2

    | Waynesboro, PA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Underaged

    (I work at a gas station. We have a lot of rules to prevent under-aged people from getting cigarettes. I’ve just graduated from high school a few weeks before, and am still 17. A kid that I don’t really know, but goes to my old high school walks in with his mom.)

    Kid: “Hey, can I get a pack of [cigarettes].”

    Me: “I’m going to need to see your ID first.”

    Kid: “C’mon, you know me. We went to high school together.”

    Me: “Sorry, but if you look underage, I have to card you.”

    (He says he understands, and calmly walks out. His mom follows him out without buying anything. About two minutes later, she comes back in stays right at the newspapers near the door, and pretends to be looking around for about a minute, looking at the papers.)

    Lady: *loudly* “Oh, there it is.” *walks right up to the register*

    Lady: “I forgot to get the paper earlier.”

    Me: “That’ll be 75 cents.”

    Lady: “Oh, yeah. Can I also get a pack of [cigarettes]?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but your son just came in and didn’t have his ID. I can’t sell the same cigarettes to you right now.”

    Lady: “Well, what if they aren’t for him! They are for his dad.”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am. It’s against store policy.”

    (She’s clearly angry at this point. My manager notices and is already on her way to the register.)

    Lady: “Well, I wanna see your manager!”

    Me: “The lady would like to speak to you.”

    Lady: “Yeah, this little a**hole won’t sell me cigarettes!”

    Manager: “Well, the problem is it’s against store policy to sell cigarettes to you since he had to deny your son.”

    Lady: “Well, in the state of Pennsylvania, it’s illegal to deny a purchase of any kind to a customer!”

    Me: “Actually it’s illegal to buy cigarettes for a minor.”

    Lady: “Well, I want to talk to corporate and tell them about this!”

    (My manager gets the phone under the register, calls corporate, and explains the situation. However, before my manager can finish talking, the lady grabs the phone from my manager.)

    Lady: *to the phone* “Yeah, can you tell these a**holes they have to sell me cigarettes?!”

    (We can hear the voice from the phone, and the moment corporate stops talking, the lady slams the phone down throws the paper at us.)

    Lady: “You can shove that paper up your a**!”

    Related:
    Their Purchasing Power Has Gone Up In Smoke

    The Deal Of His Life

    | NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am being served in a gas station, when a drunk customer approaches the clerk.)

    Drunk Customer: “Do you sell beer?”

    Clerk: “Of course, sir. Right over there.”

    (The clerk starts to ring my up my purchases, but the drunk customer shoves them aside and drops a pair of six-packs on the counter.)

    Clerk: “I, uh—”

    (I nod for him to go ahead. Just then, the door opens behind me and four uniformed police officers come in. There are three police cars parked out front, and one of the cops is quite loudly talking into a radio.)

    Drunk Customer: “Hey! You overcharged me. I saw you. Dirty Jew!”

    Clerk: “I… um… I’m Irish Catholic.”

    Cop: “Sir, do we need to—”

    Clerk: “No, no, just let him—”

    Drunk Customer: *turns around and faces me* “Yo, little lady! Don’t say a word of what you’re about to see. Got it?” *to clerk* “Y’know the guy who worked here before you? They threw him in jail for dealing heroin.”

    Clerk: “Yes, um, I remember that.”

    Drunk Man: “So, sell me some f***ing heroin!”

    Clerk: “I, uh…” *he takes cover behind the counter*

    Cop: “Okay, buddy, we need to-”

    (The drunk customer pulls a gun from his pants. It’s small, orange-tipped, and says ‘SUPER FUN CAP GUN’ on the side. However, the cops can’t see it, and they draw their guns.)

    Me: *to the cops* “It’s a toy! It’s a cap gun!”

    (Hearing this, one cop quickly holsters his gun and tackles the man.)

    Drunk Customer: *as he’s dragged away by the cops* “Yo, b****! I told you not to tell! We had a deal, we had a deal!”

    (Fast forward some time, and note that both the drunk customer and I have some pretty unique and visible tattoos. I’m at a cafe.)

    Waiter: “Excuse me, miss, but I have to ask, I think I recognize your tattoos.”

    Me: *noticing his* “Gas station, four cops, cap gun?”

    Waiter: “I never got to thank you for intervening on my behalf. I should have been shot that day.”

    (We chat for a while. After the conversation, he tells me my meal’s on the house. Unfortunately for him, I’ve gotten the same thing I always do, so I leave the amount, plus a decent tip, anyway. As I’m leaving, he notices what I’ve done.)

    Waiter: “Yo, b****! I told you not to pay! We had a deal!” *notices shocked patrons* “Uh, hope you enjoyed your coffee.”

    Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 3

    | New Bedford, MA, USA | Bigotry

    (I work in a gas station in a predominately Hispanic and Portuguese neighborhood. I am half Korean and half European (mostly from Germanic countries), and I don’t speak a lick of Spanish or Portuguese.)

    Hispanic Customer: *walks in and starts speaking to me in Spanish*

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Hispanic Customer: *looks annoyed and keeps speaking in Spanish*

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t speak—”

    (At this point, the customer becomes irate and begins yelling at me, first in Spanish, and then in English.)

    Hispanic Customer: “Stupid b****! Don’t tell me you don’t speak no Spanish when you’re f****** Puerto Rican, stupid c***. Who the—”

    Me: “I’m not Spanish.”

    Hispanic Customer: *suddenly becomes meek* “Oh. You’re not?”

    Me: “Not even close.”

    Hispanic Customer: *blushes and mumbles* “Sorry. Could I use your bathroom?”

    Me: “It’s right down that hall, sir.”

    (He bolts into the bathroom, does his business, and runs out of the store looking embarrassed. At this point, my boss walks out of the office.)

    Boss: “You don’t even look f***ing Spanish!”

    Related:
    Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 2

    More Of A Dollar Half Full Kind Of Person

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Me: “Okay, will that be all?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, thanks.”

    Me: “Do you have a [store] card?”

    Customer #1: “Oh, I do!”

    Me: “Alright, your total is $9.43.”

    Customer #1: “Oh look, I even saved money!”

    Customer #2: “How much?”

    Me: “Umm, $0.60.”

    Customer #2: “Ooh, that’s almost half a dollar!”

    Causing A Storm

    | West Point, NY, USA |

    (The week after Hurricane Sandy, gas is rationed in several counties, including mine. I am a customer at a gas station on a military base. There are signs at every pump that say you must pay inside, 100% ID check, and ten gallon limit.)

    Me: *to the clerk* “$20 on pump one, please.”

    (As I say this, another customer storms inside.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Why won’t the stupid pump take my card? I’ve been out there for five minutes, I don’t have time for this!”

    Clerk: “I’m very sorry. Pay-at-the-pump has been turned off until the gas shortage is over. I will be happy to process your transaction when I am finished helping this customer.”

    Customer: *nearly pushes me* “No, I was here first! I need $75 on pump 5, hurry up!”

    (The clerk finishes putting through my cash transaction and takes the customer’s credit card.)

    Clerk: “There is a limit of ten gallons per customer, and I must see your military ID before I can process you.”

    Customer: “What do you mean ten gallons?! I need to fill my car up! I have things to do today, and I don’t have my ID with me. It’s at home.”

    Clerk: “I’m sorry. I cannot sell you gas today without it.”

    Customer: “Listen you, my husband is a Colonel! I don’t have to take this from you. You will put $75 on my pump; I don’t have time for this!”

    (A military police officer has been listening to the whole exchange and walks over. Note that he is a specialist—a low-rank enlisted.)

    Military Police Officer: “Ma’am, these rules come down from the Base Commander. Please stop harassing the clerk, go get your ID, and come back.”

    Lady: “You can’t tell me what to do, specialist! I’m going to call my husband right now; I’ll have your rank! You’ll be doing extra duty for the next year!”

    Military Police Officer: “Actually, ma’am, I can tell you what to do. Why don’t we go talk about it at the MP Station? Your husband can come and pick you up from there.”

    Editor’s note: Although this story tells the lighter side of things, the devastation caused by Sandy is very serious. Click here to visit FEMA’s dedicated Sandy page and learn how you can donate and volunteer.

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