Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • The True Appliance Of Science
    (1,676 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    The Regular Is Very Regular

    | Armstrong, BC, Canada | Health & Body

    (One of our regular customers is a man in his 60s. He comes in every day for cigarettes or coffee.)

    Regular: “I need to use your bathroom.”

    Me: “Sure, no problem.”

    (He heads to the back and enters the bathroom. I help some customers. A few minutes later he comes out.)

    Regular: “You know, I had to go poo. I guess I wasn’t quite fast enough; I pulled down my pants and it just came out. I got half of it in my underwear, and caught some in my hands.”

    (There is a long, awfully awkward silence between my coworker and I.)

    Regular: “Well, I’ll see you later!

    (He leaves.)

    Coworker: “Don’t worry about cleaning the bathroom; you’re new. I’ll do it.”

    (My coworker goes to clean the bathroom; I can hear him moaning.)

    Coworker: “Eww! He got his mess in the sink! How could he do that? The sink is FOUR FEET away from the toilet!”

    He Who Melt It, Dealt It

    | NM, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (It is over 90 degrees outside. A customer comes in to buy an ice cream. He then goes into the bar across the road, and returns over an hour later.)

    Customer: “I need to exchange this ice cream.”

    Me: “Why?”

    Customer: “I just bought it a minute ago, and it’s melted!”

    Me: “You were here over an hour ago. I can’t exchange it for you.”

    Customer: “You d*** well better exchange it! It wasn’t melted when I bought it! It’s not my fault I left it in my car when I went to the bar!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t exchange it for you; it’s not our fault.”

    Customer: “I just bought it! Give me my d*** money! You know what? I have an even better idea!”

    (The customer slams the melted ice cream on the counter, and grabs a new one from the cooler.)

    Customer: “Give me a f****** bag that will prevent this from melting!”

    Me: “It’ll be [price] for the ice cream, and I don’t think those exist.”

    Customer: “I’m not paying for this! You are f****** giving it to me for free, b****!”

    Me: “Not happening. I’ll be more then happy to call the owner for you.”

    Customer: “Get his fat ugly a** down here! I’ll have you fired for this!”

    (I step back to call for the owner.)

    Me: “DAD!”

    (My 6’3″, 300-pound dad walks out from the back room.)

    Dad: “What’s the problem?”

    Customer: * grabs the melted ice cream and runs out of the door*

    Hoodlums Get Hoodwinked

    | USA | Bad Behavior

    (I’m working the night shift. The only customers are a couple in their late-teens or early twenties. While they’re browsing the shelves a couple of younger teenagers walk in with sagging pants and sideways hats, swearing loudly.)

    Teen #1: “Yo, motherf***er! Look at this piece of s*** they call a f***ing cheeseburger.”

    Teen #2: “That’s f***ing f***ed up, bro!”

    (They continue this until the girl walks up and taps one of them on the shoulder.)

    Girl: “Hey, sweetie. Remember me?”

    Teen #1: “I bet I f***ed you all night long and you’ve come back for more, b****.”

    Girl: *laughing* “Not quite. I graduated from [local high school] with your sister last year. I remember you when you were in diapers.”

    Teen #1: “I ain’t wearing no f***ing diapers no more.”

    Girl: “Yeah, but you still act like it.”

    (She then proceeds to pull his pants up and turn his hat right. While she’s doing this a pack of cigarettes falls from his hoodie, which she takes.)

    Girl: “I bet your mom would love to hear about this. I’ll be sure to inform her when I see you guys at mass tomorrow.”

    Teen #1: *goes pale and flees with Teen #2 from the store*

    Thankful For Thank Yous

    | New York, USA | Awesome Customers, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hi, can you please fill it up with regular?”

    Employee: “Sure, no prob—Wait!”

    Me: “Is there a problem with my card? Can I use my debit card instead?”

    Employee: “No, no! The card’s fine! You’re the nice customer!”

    Me: “…I’m sorry. I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

    Employee: “You were filling up your gas tank earlier this month. It was my first week of training and I was trying to figure out the machines because I used to work at a station where we brought credit cards inside to be processed. This crazy lady started screaming at me because she got charged for premium gas and she didn’t want it. Then your credit card didn’t work because I forgot to hit some buttons or something. While she spent 10 minutes screaming at me, you waited there patiently without screaming at me or trying to get my attention. It was only after she left that I realized your car hadn’t been filled yet. You didn’t say anything mean; you just smiled and told me not to worry about it.”

    Me: “Oh yeah… I remember that lady. Boy, wasn’t she a bundle of joy to be around? Has she been back since?”

    Employee: “Maybe? Well, I told my coworker Eddie about you and he said you’re the only customer who consistently is polite and says “Please” and “Thank you” and you’re the only who treats us as equal human beings! Thank you for that!”

    Me: “Wow… well, you’re welcome. Just try to avoid crazy customers! Stay warm!”

    Employee: “Seriously, thank you! You have no idea how nice it is!”

    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    Customer: “Why won’t your gas pump accept my credit card?”

    Clerk: “Sorry, it’s cash or debit only.”

    Customer: “But I have a credit card and it won’t take it!”

    Clerk: “Cash or debit only, ma’am.”

    Customer: “This is a credit card!”

    Clerk: *pause* “It’s cash or debit only, not credit.”

    (The customer finally realizes what the clerk’s been saying and automatically becomes huffy.)

    Customer: “Well! Y’know, giving me the same answer three times doesn’t help me understand. You should have said, ‘we only accept cash or debit’. How was I supposed to understand what ‘cash or debit only’ means? It’s not a complete sentence!” *storms out*

    Related:
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due

    Page 8/29First...678910...Last