(I am the third shift manager at my store. I live only a block from my store, so when I need stuff, I just walk over. I stop in one afternoon on my day off. The store is busy and I notice a lady who is obviously upset. So, I approach just to help out.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, I work here. Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “No. I need to talk to a manager, not some young punk kid.”

(Note that I am 19.)

Me: “Ma’am, I am actually—”

Customer: “I said you can’t help me. I need a manager!”

Me: *gives up* “Yes, ma’am. Let me go in back to get him…”

(I go into our back room where I keep my work shirt most of the time with my name tag. I put them both on real quick, and come out of the back room to the customer.)

Me: “Excuse me, you needed to speak to a manager?”

Customer: “Yes, about time! I want to complain—”

(She turns and sees me, realizing who I am. This just gets her more upset.)

Customer: “What are you doing?!”

Me: “I am a manager. How may I assist you today?”

Customer: “How old are you? You can’t be a manager!”

Me: “I’m nineteen, ma’am, and I am a manager. How may I assist you?”

Customer: “This store is stupid. I’m not coming back!” *leaves*

(My mother and I are on a drive to Florida when we stop at a small gas station. A customer and her six- or seven-year-old daughter walk away from the restrooms to the counter.)

Cashier: “May I help you?”

Customer: “Your bathrooms are DISGUSTING! Let me talk to a manager! They make me SICK!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the manager isn’t in right now. Would you like me to file a complaint?”

Customer: “No! I want you to clean the GODD*** BATHROOMS!

(At this point, the little girl is trying to drag her mother away and is telling her to calm down. The cashier is clearly shaken and on the verge of tears.)

Cashier: *tearing up* “I’m sorry, but that’s not my position, and the janitors aren’t in right now. Is there anything else I can do?”

Customer: “NO, GODD*** IT! JUST GO CLEAN THE D*** TOIL—”

(At this point, my mother has had enough and speaks up in defense of the cashier.)

My Mother: “Look. She has told you she can’t clean it. She has offered solutions. Now use the dirty toilets or you can leave! You don’t have to be such a b****!”

Customer: *taken aback* “Well, I…I…HMPH!”

(She storms out, dragging her kid by the arm. After we leave a second later, we see the woman and her little daughter in the parking lot.)

Customer’s Daughter: “Goodness, Mommy! you didn’t have to be so mean to that lady. She was crying!”

(Note: This occurs at the pump while the customer’s car is filling.)

Customer: “Is it okay if I smoke here?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I heard the law changed.”

Me: “No, because gas is still flammable.”

Customer: “Oh, it is?”

Related:
Another Darwin Awards Candidate

(Note: I’m working alone at a gas station. It’s a pretty busy day, so even if I was allowed, I couldn’t pump somebody’s gas for them. This conversation happens with an older man who looks to be pretty well-off.)

Me: “Hello, sir. Are you pump 6?”

Customer: “Yes, I am! And You know, you should be ashamed of yourself! Somebody should be out pumping gas for these old ladies!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m here all alone and can’t really pump everybody’s gas for them.”

Customer: “Well, you should tell your boss to hire someone to do it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is a smaller gas station and my boss can’t really afford to hire someone to pump people’s gas for them, especially since most people pay at the pump.”

Customer: “So you won’t tell them to?”

Me: “I know they won’t do it, sir. They’d lose too much money that way.”

Customer: “You know, it’s punks like you who don’t stand up to parliament. That’s why our taxes are so high! No wonder life’s so difficult!”

Me: “Actually, sir, the way I see it I have food, shelter and clothing so I’m pretty good.”

Customer: “It must be nice to have so much money! You don’t know what hard times are like!”

Me: “Actually, sir, not too long before finding this job I was living on the streets. I have since been able to pull myself off the streets and now have hope for college.”

Customer: “Yeah?! Well…how would you like it if someone kicked YOUR dog?!”

Me: *speechless*

Related:
Your Argument Is Full Of Hot Air

Spelling Disasters! This week, we share five stories of customers with spelling so bad, they need it spelled out for them!

1. Their Spelling Is Wrong, But They Are Sticking To It:
   E is for Elmer’s Eskimos—you know, the ones that live in Eglues!
2. It’s Spelled I-d-i-o-t:
   Welcome to Indiamimbindokiamn, Indiana. Population: Stupid!
3. I Have Lost A Dream:
   A lost customer does battle with an abbreviation—and loses.
4. Congra-duh-lations:
   Congra-du-lations, your cake’s spelling is a lie!
5. Spelling Gone Rogue:
   Somehow, “going rouge” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!