No Will For A Refill

| MO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I’m currently at the register because the manager on shift doesn’t like to be up there all day. I normally don’t mind too much, and he’ll put someone else on if I’m just not feeling it. It is getting late and we have several customers in the store when the manager comes up and leans in close, which is always a sign that he’s talking about a customer.)

Manager: *whispering* “There’s a man in a baseball cap with a frozen refill in a mug and he’s going to say it’s ice.”

(After he says that he gets off the register to return to the store and I wait for the man in question. After a couple of minutes a man fitting the description comes up with a fifty two ounce mug and says it is an ice refill.)

Me: “My manager just told me that that is a frozen refill.”

Man: *getting grumpy* “No, it’s ice.”

Me: “If it’s ice, could you open it and show me?”

Man: “Fine, just take it!”

(He shoved the mug at me, luckily not knocking it off the counter, before he stormed out of the store. I double-checked that, yes, the mug was filled with one of our frozen drinks. A few minutes later my manager came back up and told me that the man saw him and threatened ‘to get him.’ All of this over a dollar-something refill that we caught him trying to filch.)

Pumped For Revenge

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Transportation

(A customer comes to the cash desk:)

Customer: “Pump six.”

Me: “That will be £20.01 please.”

Customer: “Twenty pounds … and a penny! Hah! You win this time pump, but I shall have my revenge.”

(He pays and then walks towards the door, cackling maniacally and waving his fist in the air. As he leaves he shouts:)

Customer: “REVENGE SHALL BE MINE, PUMP SIX. WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!”

No ID, No Idea, Part 19

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Underaged

(A girl who looks about 16 asks for a pack of cigarettes. For future clarity, this took place on November 25, 2014.)

Me: “Can I please see your ID?”

Customer: “I come here all the time and I never need my ID!”

Me: “Okay, but I personally haven’t seen you here before, so I just need to check it today.”

Customer: “I don’t have it, though! I never have it!”

Me: “All right, can I at least have your date of birth?”

Customer:“Uh… January 12th… 1992.”

Me: “So you’re 23, then?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Then how come the birthday you gave me would make you 22?”

(She turned bright red and quickly left the store.)

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 18
No ID, No Idea, Part 17
No ID, No Idea, Part 16

Tat Settles That

| NC, USA | Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I am standing in line behind a little old lady. I am covered in tattoos.)

Cashier: “Your total is $8. Will that be cash or credit?”

Little Old Lady: “I don’t have a credit card! And I only have $5 in cash!”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, I have a few dollars you can borrow.” *holds out cash*

Little Old Lady: *turns around and sees me* “NO! I WILL NOT TAKE MONEY FROM A DEVIL WORSHIPER LIKE YOU! And look! You are buying cigarettes! Your generation will ruin us!” *storms out without paying*

Cashier: *to me* “She was buying tobacco and cigarettes!”

Phoning In The Irony

| Michigan, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology

(My aunt is teaching me how to do dispatch at the gas station she owns, for whenever they’re busy. I’m too young to sell any cigarettes to a customer and someone else has to do it. If she’s busy or needs to help a mechanic she lets me run the front as long as I don’t sell any cigarettes, so I need to call for help on that a lot. A woman and her young girl walk in the store. The woman is on her phone playing a popular game.)

Little Girl: “Mommy! Guess what I learned at school today?!”

Woman: “Huh? Oh, yeah that’s great, [Little Girl].” *continues to play on phone*

Little Girl: “Mommy! I asked you to guess! It’s really fun; I promise!”

Woman: “Be QUIET! I’m busy! You can go pick up a piece a candy or something. I’m gonna pay for gas.”

Little Girl: “Okay!” *heads off, happy again, to get candy*

Woman: *walks up to our counter* “I need $20 on pump four, please.” *taps on phone*

Me: “All right, I’ll—” *I get a phone call from my aunt saying she won’t be back for a while and that I should call a coworker to help me with any cigarette sales* “—Okay, I’ll call her right away. Thank you.” *click*

Woman: *has put her phone away* “I find it very rude that you would talk on your cellphone while dealing with a customer! You young people must have those d*** things glued to your hands or something. You won’t even take the time to do your job!”

Little Girl: “Mommy, I got a [Candy Bar].”

Woman: “Yeah, okay.”

Me: “I’ll… just ring those up for you. That’ll be [total]. Have a nice day.”

Woman: *back to her game* “Huh? Oh, yeah. You, too. Come on, [Little Girl].”

(Honestly there have been dumber customers, but this really got on my nerves.)

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