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  • Not Very Closed Minded, Part 3

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (It’s just about closing time. I am preparing the paperwork and getting the tills counted. A customer walks in and heads back to look at the drinks. He’s still shopping when closing time hits, and we turn out the lights. I’m going to lock the doors, when a new customer starts walking up to the door I’m about to lock.)

    Customer: “Oh! You’re closing. I’ll go elsewhere.” *turns to leave*

    Me: “No, it’s fine. Come on in.”

    Customer: “Nah, it’s all right. I’ve worked retail; I know how much it sucks to get kept after close.”

    Me: “No, really. There’s already a guy in here. You won’t be slowing us down.”

    Customer: “Ah, okay, thanks.”

    (He comes in, heads straight to what he wants, and brings it to the counter. Elapsed time, 20 seconds. He sees I have the drawer open and am counting cash when he walks up.)

    Customer: “Are you counting out the drawer?”

    Me: “Yeah, just hoping to get a head start on getting out of here.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll use credit then. Thanks for staying open for me.”

    Me: “It’s no problem. Thank you for doing that!”

    (He swipes his card and heads out. After he leaves, the original customer comes up to the counter. He throws down a hundred dollar bill for his under-$10 purchase, then looks around at the darkened store.)

    Customer #2: “Are you guys closing?”

    Adding Gallons Of Fuel To The Fire

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I work at a gas station that doesn’t require customers to prepay for gas. And yes, the pumps do display the number of gallons a customer pumps.)

    Me: “Hi! Were you on pump two?”

    Customer: “How many gallons did I pump?”

    Me: “I can’t figure that out until you pay. I can print you out a receipt if you would like.”

    Customer: “I just want to know how many gallons I pumped!”

    Me: “I can’t tell you right now, but if you pay the $52.70 I can give you the receipt and it will say the amount you pumped.”

    Customer: “WHY THE H*** CAN’T YOU TELL ME THE GALLONS?!”

    Me: “I can get a calculator and divide the amount you owe by the price of gas, but it would be faster if you paid and I got you a receipt.”

    Customer: *angrily throws money on the counter and walks out*

    Me: *before he even reaches the door I have the receipt printed* “IT WAS FOURTEEN POINT TWO EIGHT GALLONS, SIR!”

    A Lot Of Hot Air Over Very Little Gas

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top, Transportation

    (When customers pre-pay for gas with a credit card, but their vehicle won’t take as much as they’ve put on it, the system automatically refunds the remaining portion onto the card that was used. This conversation takes place near the end of a 10-hour shift.)

    Customer: *in a not-so-nice tone* “I sent a kid in here earlier to get gas and he only pumped $17, but I was charged for $25. Why was I over-charged?”

    Me: *looks at his receipt* “Oh, well, it looks like they pre-paid for gas and it was charged to a credit card. The remaining portion would have been automatically refunded to your card.”

    Customer: “I need a receipt showing that it refunded.”

    Me: “I am so sorry, sir, but I can only print receipts for the past 10 transactions, and it looks like the kid you sent in got gas well over two hours ago. There isn’t a way for me to pull it up.”

    Customer: “Well how the h*** am I supposed to know that it refunded? How do I know you didn’t steal my money?”

    Me: “As soon as the nozzle on the pump is hung back up, it refunds automatically. You could actually call your credit company right now, and it would show that the balance is there.”

    Customer: “No! I will not call them! I want you to show me proof right now that you didn’t steal my money!”

    Me: “As I just said, there is nothing I can do. It’s been several hours since this transaction took place, so I can’t look it up. I assure you, if you would just call…”

    Customer: “I need you to write down that I only pumped $17 worth of gas and sign it so I can dispute it when it charges me $25 on my bill!”

    Me: “Sir, I have no idea how much gas you pumped, so I will not sign anything saying you only pumped $17. Furthermore, you’ve been yelling at me for over three minutes during a very busy time and I’m the only person here to ring out the 12 people behind you. I’ve told you that all you have to do is call the number on the back of the card to verify that you were only charged for what you pumped, and yet you’re still unsatisfied. The only other thing I can offer is that you call our customer service center and file a complaint. The number, and our store number are posted right beside you, and my name is on your receipt from earlier.”

    Customer: *shoves a pen and his receipt in my face* “I’m not leaving until you write a statement about my gas and sign it!”

    Me: “If you don’t leave, I will call the police to escort you from the premise.”

    (Just then, one of our regulars, who is a police officer and in uniform, walks in. I sigh in relief, but the customer doesn’t notice.)

    Customer: “You WILL write down that I only pumped $17. I’m not going anywhere!”

    Me: “Hey, [Officer], could you do me a favor?”

    Officer: “That depends… What is it?”

    (The customer looks over at the officer, back at me, and scrambles out the door.)

    Me: “Never mind; he left on his own.”

    Bill Of Rights

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (The gas station I work at frequently runs out of small bills on the weekends so we have a difficult time making change. Normally, we put large, colorful signs on the front counters asking for smaller bills, and most people will oblige, but we still get people who try to ask for change after using the ATM.)

    Customer: “Could I get change for this twenty?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have any small bills to spare.” *points at neon pink sign*

    Customer: “That’s stupid. Just give me some change.”

    Me: “I can’t. I won’t be able to make change for people who actually buy something.”

    Customer: “Fine, whatever!”

    (He then proceeds to wander the store, finally picking out the cheapest item we have, a 50-cent package of crackers, and walks back up to the counter.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I’d like these.” *hands me a twenty*

    Me: “Sir, I really don’t have change for this.”

    Customer: “Just sell me this so I can get some f****** change!”

    (I ended up giving it to him just to get him out of the store.)

    Needs Oil On This Troubled Water

    | QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I watch a fancy BMW pull up to the entrance to the fuel station. An old rich-looking man gets out and walks into the store.)

    Me: “Hey, how’s it going?”

    Customer: “Yeah, good.”

    Me: “What can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “I need to get some oil for my car.”

    Me: “Yup, all of our oils are on the rack beside you.”

    Customer: “Can you tell me what oil I need for my car?”

    Me: “I don’t know sir, and I’m not allowed to recommend anything. Company policy.”

    Customer: “You’re a fuel station and you can’t recommend me the correct oil I need for my car?”

    Me: “That is correct, sir.”

    Customer: “Well, I think that is completely stupid.”

    (The customer grabs a random bottle of oil from rack and pays for it.)

    Customer: “I’ll use this one, and if it’s wrong I’ll come back and sue you.”

    Me: “And THAT is why we can’t recommend one for you, sir!”

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