Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Go Easy On The Brain
    (1,926 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Way, Way Too Much Information

    | California, USA |

    Customer: “Oh, I almost forgot… I need a lighter.”

    Me: “Alright. Well, here are the various ones we have.” *points at lighters*

    Customer: “Can you pick one out for me?”

    Me: “Sure thing, sir. Any particular design or color you like?”

    Customer: “Clear, just like my underwear.”

    Related:
    Way Too Much Information
    TMI (Too Much Information)

    When They’re Right, They’re Right

    | Richmond, VA, USa |

    (We’re helping a customer inside our gas station. Suddenly, a Camaro peels off out of the parking lot, squealing its tires.)

    Customer: *yells* “Okay! We get it! You have a small penis!”

    Adventures In The Third Dimension

    | Melbourne, Australia |

    (It’s late at night and a solitary customer pulls up outside and fills her car at the pump. She calmly opens the station’s door and comes inside to pay at the booth, but realizes she left her wallet in the car.)

    Customer: “OH MY GOD! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! MY WALLET IS IN THE CAR, UNLOCK THIS DOOR!”

    Me: “It is unlocked.”

    Customer: “But it says you’re closed!”

    Me: “What does the other side of the sign say?”

    Customer: *looks at me like I’m stupid* “Open, but it says you’re closed!”

    Me: “Why does it say ‘Open’ on the other side of the sign?”

    Customer: “Look, you…” pauses, then blushes bright red* “… oh.”

    Me: “You need some chocolate.”

    Customer: *smiles* “Yes, I do.”

    Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

    | Eatonville, WA, USA |

    Drunk customer: “Nice hair, man! ”

    Me: “Uh, thanks…”

    Drunk customer: “Grow that s**t out, man! Hair farming is not out of style!”

    (Two nights later he returns, much less drunk this time.)

    Same customer: “GET A F****ING HAIR CUT!”

    (You gotta love working late at a gas station in Methville, USA.)

    Marital Bliss, In All Its Forms

    | Peoria, IL, USA |

    (A male customer comes up to the counter with a box of tampons.)

    Me: “You should meet my husband. We’ve been married seven years and he’s never bought these.”

    Customer: “You should meet my girlfriend.”

    Me: “Persuasive?”

    Customer: “Scary.”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

    Page 28/31First...2627282930...Last