Taxation With Agitation

| Clarksville, TN |

Me: “Is that it for you tonight, ma’am?”

Girl: “Nah, can I get a pack of cigarettes?”

Me: “Sure. Can I see your ID?”

Girl: “Ya know in high school, when we learned about the Boston Tea Party?”

Me: “Yeah…?”

Girl: “Well, they raised taxes on the tea, and they threw it in the harbor.”

Me: “Yeah, I remember.”

Girl: “Well, they just upped the taxes on the smokey treats…what’re WE gonna do about it?”

Me: “I dunno…what do you think?”

Girl: “Well, I don’t know…you’re the gas station lady – figured you’d have the answers.”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t smoke.”


Good Thing He Missed The Hot Wax

| Aurora, CO, USA |

(A teenager who bought a drive-through car wash comes inside soaking wet.)

Teenager: “Uh, your car wash is broken.”

Me: “It’s broken?”

Teenager: “Yeah, it like, sprayed my entire car when I opened the door.”

Me: “…you opened the door inside the car wash?”

Teenager: “Yeah. Don’t you have to get out?”

Me: “Er, not in an automatic car wash…”

How To Tell You’ve Lowered Your Standards

| Deming, NM, USA |

(I was finishing checking out an elderly man’s purchases when this exchange happened.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer: “When you’re 85 years old and you wake up with a pulse, and your next door neighbor isn’t hitting you over the head with a shovel, you’re having a good day.”

Me: “…”

University Of Homer Simpson

| Miami, FL, USA |

(I’m 19 and a customer in his mid-twenties comes up to me with a 6-pack of beer and some beef jerky.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, since I’m underage I can’t sell you this beer. Would you mind waiting for my coworker?”

Customer: “Oh, sure no problem. Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “You’re of Indian descent, right?”

Me: “That’s right, sir.”

Customer: “But you were born here in America, right?”

Me: “Uh, no actually. I was born in India, but I moved here pretty young.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me, you don’t have an accent! I’ve seen all the movies! Any Indian character who works at a gas station always has an accent!”

Be All The Genders You Can Be

| Seattle, WA, USA |

(An older man who looks to be in his 80s approaches the counter.)

Me: “Good morning, sir.”

Customer: “I’m not a ‘sir’.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…ma’am?”

Customer: “Are you getting sarcastic with me?”

Me: “No…you’re confusing me.”

Customer: “Have you been in the military?”

Me: “…no. But several of my family members have.”

Customer: “Well, you should. You’d be perfect.” *salutes and leaves*

Coworker: *walking in* “Who was that guy?”

Me: “Sergeant Transvestite?”

Page 27/32First...2526272829...Last