Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
    (1,931 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Marital Bliss, In All Its Forms

    | Peoria, IL, USA |

    (A male customer comes up to the counter with a box of tampons.)

    Me: “You should meet my husband. We’ve been married seven years and he’s never bought these.”

    Customer: “You should meet my girlfriend.”

    Me: “Persuasive?”

    Customer: “Scary.”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

    Money, Money Everywhere But Not A Brain To Think

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Top

    Gas station customer: “I want your name!”

    Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Customer: “There is a huge scratch on the trunk of my Lexus from your f***ing pump hose. I am going to sue this store for damages. I want your f***ing name!”

    Me: “My name is Larry, sir, just like it says on the name tag. What happened?”

    Customer: “I pulled up on the other side of the pump, so I had to drag the hose over the trunk to fill up, and the handle scratched my car. I want your full and address. I am suing you for damages.”

    Me: “Let me get this straight… you pulled up to the wrong side of the pump, and you were too dumb to pull around to the right side, so you dragged a metal headed gas hose over the trunk of your car, scratching the paint yourself, and you think I am the one responsible?”

    Customer: “Yes, g**d***it! Give me your last name and address!”

    Me: “No chance in h***. That‚Äôll be $17.23 for the gas.”

    Customer: “F*** you!”

    (He drives off without paying. We caught the whole thing on interior and exterior video, including the license plate of his poor scratched Lexus. The State Troopers caught him before he made it to the next freeway exit. I quit that job the next day.)

    Spoken Like A True New Jerseyan

    | Kentucky, USA |

    (A tall man in his 30′s walks in after I had told him over the intercom 3 times that we are a prepay station AND he read the sign on the pumps stating that as well.)

    Me: “Afternoon! Can I help you?”

    Man: “Yeah, I noticed that you don’t have the card sliders on the pumps. Do you know when you’re going to get those?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m fairly confident we’re not getting those anytime soon.”

    Man: “Oh. Well, in that case, I’m going to get in my car and drive away without buying your gasoline. In fact, I’m never coming back here again!”

    (Note that I have never seen this man before and I recognize all my regular customers.)

    Me: “Okay, sir.”

    Man: “How exactly does that make you feel?!”

    Me: “Well sir, to be honest with you, you’re not the first person that has tried to dampen my day. The fact of the matter is, you can’t dampen my day any worse than it already is when I have to show up here. You’re just one more customer I don’t ever have to hear yell at me again.”

    Man: “F*** you and your gas pumps! Thank God people aren’t this rude in New Jersey!”

    Biting The Hand That Feeds You

    | The Netherlands |

    (Even though I stutter a bit, I never had any trouble helping customers. This customer thought otherwise.)

    Me: “C-can I help you sir?”

    Customer: *odd look* “Yes, I’d like a pack of cigarettes.”

    Me: “Okay, that’s th-three ni-ninety please.”

    Customer: “HELP! THIS GIRL CAN’T HELP ME!”

    (At this point my colleague enters the shop, standing at the second cash register which is closed.)

    Customer: “You! You can help me!”

    Colleague: “I’m sorry, this cash register is closed. My colleague will help you.”

    Customer: “But she can’t help me!”

    (A line was begins to form behind the customer.)

    Customer, to me: “So… he says you can help me.”

    Me: “No, I can’t help you.”

    Customer: “WHY?!”

    Me: “I don’t help a**holes.”

    Customer: *swears and leaves the store*

    Related:
    Never Smart: Biting The Hand That Makes Your Coffee

    Born To Offend

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Top

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. How may I help you?”

    Woman: “Oh, when is your baby due?”

    Me: “I’m not pregnant, ma’am, just fat.”

    Woman: “That’s very rude, you know. Pretending to be pregnant just so people can be nice to you!”

    Me: *gritting teeth* “I am not pretending anything, ma’am, I promise you. Now, how may I help you?”

    Woman: “No! You are a liar, and I am going somewhere where non-lying people can help me!”

    Me: “Thank you ma’am, and have a nice day.”

    Woman: “LIAR!”


    Page 25/27First...2324252627