Weeding Out The Good Customers, Part 2

| Zumbrota, MN, USA | Top

(We have two branches of my store in our town of about 3,500. Ours is referred to as the ‘ghetto’ store.)

Me: “How’s it going?”

Customer: “Pretty good.”

Me: “Will that be all?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Total is $2.98.”

Customer: “Here’s $3. Plus, a little something extra.”

(He hands me a bud of weed.)

Me: “What’s this for?”

Customer: “It’s a Friday night, and you are trapped in hell. Now you tell me what it’s for.”

Related:
Weeding Out The Good Customers

Short Changing Your Mind

| New Zealand | Top

Me: “Hello, sir.”

Customer: “I want tobacco.”

Me: “What type?”

Customer: “Tobacco for smoking. I want five packets.”

Me: “Okay, that’s $144.”

Customer: “Can you make it $150? I only have fifties.”

Me: “We do have change.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want change.”

Me: “Okay, then…that’s $150.”

(The customer starts to leave, but suddenly turns around and faces me.)

Customer: “Where’s my change, b****?!”

Feeling Fuel-ish, Part 2

| Marysville, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(A girl of about 20 pulls up to the pump. After several minutes of her nervously looking around and doing nothing, I approach her.)

Me: “Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “I don’t know how to do this.”

Me: “You don’t know how to fuel up your car?”

Customer: “No! There’s so many buttons! Where does this hose thingy go?”

Me: “Well, first you have to pay.”

(Several minutes ensue of walking her through the procedure, in which I learn she has been driving for 4 years.)

Customer: “Thank you so much for your help, I don’t know how anyone can do this!”

Me: *notices license plate* “Oh! You’re from Oregon! People pump gas for you there, don’t they?”

Customer: “Yes! I can’t believe they don’t do it here! Are the people at this gas station poor?”

Related:
Feeling Fuel-ish

The Elderly Fight Change

| New Zealand | Uncategorized

(I’m working the counter of a busy service station. An elderly customer comes in to pay.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. Just Pump 6 and the LPG today?”

Customer: *producing his bankcard* “Yes, that’s all, thanks.”

Me: “Great, your total is $46.71.” *rings up sale and waits for him to enter pin*

Customer: “Can I have my change?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

Customer: “My change.”

Me: “Ok sir, I’m really sorry, but I’m not quite sure what change you mean.”

Customer: “What’s my total again?”

Me: “$46.71.”

Customer: “Great, can I have my change?”

Me: “Sir, you’re paying by card. You won’t get change as you will be paying the exact amount electronically.”

Customer: “Oh, I see.”

(He is pressing buttons on the keypad, but has not selected an account.)

Me: “Sir, you need to select an account.”

Customer: “Yes, I’ve done that.”

Me: “You want ‘Cheque’” or ‘Savings’?”

(He finally selects ‘Cheque’ and enters in a pin. After a few seconds, it comes up declined as he has entered an incorrect pin.)

Me: “Okay, sir, you’ve entered an invalid pin number. I need you to try again.”

(I ring up the sale again, and make sure he selects ‘Cheque’ again. He seems very confused.)

Customer: “What was my total again? I want to get this right.”

Me: “Forty six dollars and seventy one cents, sir.”

Customer: “Ok!” *punches in numbers and announces them out loud* “4-6-7-1!”

Me: “Hang on, sir. You’re entering your total instead of your pin number.”

Customer: “Well, yes.”

Me: “The total is already in our computer. You need to enter the pin number for your card so the sale goes through.”

Customer: “Oh. What’s my pin number, then?”

Me: “Would you prefer to pay cash, sir?”

Loyalty Ist Verboten!

| Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: *in thick German accent* “I am great.”

Me: “Perfect! You’re total will be $****. Do you have a [Gas Station] Points Card?”

Customer: “No! I am German! I have everything I need!”

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