Customer: "Why is my credit card being denied?"
Me: "Is it an American credit card?"
Customer: "Yes, I’m from Texas and I’m traveling to Alaska."
Me: "Credit card companies sometimes block purchases made in other countries if they don’t know you’re traveling."
Customer: "But I’m not in another country."
Me: "This is Canada, sir."
Customer: "But it’s on the way to Alaska."
Me: "I know sir, but it’s still another country, so you probably need to call your credit card company."
Customer: "What stupid country is this?!"
Me: "Actually sir, it would happen with any country you travel to because it’s a safety feature for your own security."
Customer: "Well, if Canada wasn’t in the way of Alaska, this wouldn’t be a problem!"
Yukon Not Believe This Juan
Yukon Spend It
Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2
Yukon See It On A Map
(I have just gotten my first job, at age 16. I am a clerk in a gas station that mostly sells gas and cigarettes.)
Customer: “Oh, hey [my name], I didn’t know you worked here.”
Me: “Yeah, I just started a couple weeks ago. What can I get you?”
Customer: “Can I get a pack of cigarettes?”
Me: “We were in grade 8 together, and I’m only 16. I’m pretty sure I can’t sell you those.”
Customer: “Yeah I like, failed a lot of grades. I’m 19 now.”
Me: “Really? Can I see your ID then?”
Customer: “I…I think I’ll try the 7/11 down the street.”
Me: “Okay, that’ll be $*.**.”
Customer: *gives me a twenty* “Don’t give me any quarters!”
Customer: “I already have all the quarters!”
Me: “Oh, are you collecting coins?”
Customer: “No, but I already have all the quarters! If you give me any quarters, then I’ll know that I don’t have all the quarters! I’ll have to start all over!”
Customer: “Excuse me, why won’t my card work on the pump?”
Me: “Is it an American card?”
Me: “American cards don’t work at the pump.”
Customer: “You should put up a sign or something.”
Me: “Actually, there are several right above the card slot.”
Customer: “Oh. Well, I don’t read Canadian…”
(A man walks up to our gas station pumps smoking a cigarette. I am working alone, so I talk to him using the microphone.)
Me: “Could you please move away from the pumps with your cigarettes immediately?”
Smoking Man: *shouts back to me* “Petroleum extinguishes cigarettes!”
Me: “You can’t smoke here. There are lots of explosive fumes!”
Smoking Man: “No, I am a fireman! We use petroleum to put out fires!”
Me: “I doubt that. I have now stopped all the pumps so no one else can get any gas until you leave the gas station.”
Smoking Man: “PETROL EXTINGUISHES CIGARETTES!”
(Just then, a customer who has been pumping gas speaks up.)
Customer: “I’ll f***ing extinguish you, you d***!” *chases Smoking Man out of the gas station*
Fighting Fire With Fire, Part 2
Fighting Fire With Fire