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    Yukon Not Spend It

    | Alberta, Canada | Canada, Money, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: "Why is my credit card being denied?"

    Me: "Is it an American credit card?"

    Customer: "Yes, I’m from Texas and I’m traveling to Alaska."

    Me: "Credit card companies sometimes block purchases made in other countries if they don’t know you’re traveling."

    Customer: "But I’m not in another country."

    Me: "This is Canada, sir."

    Customer: "But it’s on the way to Alaska."

    Me: "I know sir, but it’s still another country, so you probably need to call your credit card company."

    Customer: "What stupid country is this?!"

    Me: "Actually sir, it would happen with any country you travel to because it’s a safety feature for your own security."

    Customer: "Well, if Canada wasn’t in the way of Alaska, this wouldn’t be a problem!"

    Related:
    Yukon Not Believe This Juan
    Yukon Spend It
    Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2
    Yukon See It On A Map

    Nicoteenagers

    | Ontario, Canada |

    (I have just gotten my first job, at age 16. I am a clerk in a gas station that mostly sells gas and cigarettes.)

    Customer: “Oh, hey [my name], I didn’t know you worked here.”

    Me: “Yeah, I just started a couple weeks ago. What can I get you?”

    Customer: “Can I get a pack of cigarettes?”

    Me: “We were in grade 8 together, and I’m only 16. I’m pretty sure I can’t sell you those.”

    Customer: “Yeah I like, failed a lot of grades. I’m 19 now.”

    Me: “Really? Can I see your ID then?”

    Customer: “I…I think I’ll try the 7/11 down the street.”

    Odd Quarterly Statement

    | Ontario, Canada |

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be $*.**.”

    Customer: *gives me a twenty* “Don’t give me any quarters!”

    Me: “Alright.”

    Customer: “I already have all the quarters!”

    Me: “Oh, are you collecting coins?”

    Customer: “No, but I already have all the quarters! If you give me any quarters, then I’ll know that I don’t have all the quarters! I’ll have to start all over!”

    Translation: Stupid

    | Ontario, Canada |

    Customer: “Excuse me, why won’t my card work on the pump?”

    Me: “Is it an American card?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “American cards don’t work at the pump.”

    Customer: “You should put up a sign or something.”

    Me: “Actually, there are several right above the card slot.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, I don’t read Canadian…”

    Fighting Fire With Fire, Part 3

    | Huntingdon, Cambs, UK |

    (A man walks up to our gas station pumps smoking a cigarette. I am working alone, so I talk to him using the microphone.)

    Me: “Could you please move away from the pumps with your cigarettes immediately?”

    Smoking Man: *shouts back to me* “Petroleum extinguishes cigarettes!”

    Me: “You can’t smoke here. There are lots of explosive fumes!”

    Smoking Man: “No, I am a fireman! We use petroleum to put out fires!”

    Me: “I doubt that. I have now stopped all the pumps so no one else can get any gas until you leave the gas station.”

    Smoking Man: “PETROL EXTINGUISHES CIGARETTES!”

    (Just then, a customer who has been pumping gas speaks up.)

    Customer: “I’ll f***ing extinguish you, you d***!” *chases Smoking Man out of the gas station*

    Related:
    Fighting Fire With Fire, Part 2
    Fighting Fire With Fire

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