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    Murder, She Wrote

    | Missouri, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Books & Reading

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Gas Station]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Do you shoot guns?”

    Me: “Uh… what?”

    Customer: “Well, I know your gas station hires some athletic young men and I was wondering if you knew anything about guns?”

    Me: “Actually, I do know a decent amount about guns and shooting.”

    Customer: “If you threw a gun in the air and shot it with another gun, would it explode?”

    Me: “Wait, what? Why?”

    Customer: “Oh, well in the book I’m writing the sheriff is fighting the robber on the balcony of the theatre, and the robber’s gun flies into the air and the sheriff shoots it. Would it explode or hurt anyone?”

    Me: “Well, it probably wouldn’t explode, but it would probably discharge either when struck by the bullet or when it hits the ground.”

    Customer: “Would it hit someone?”

    Me: “You’re the author, ma’am.”

    Customer:  “Oh, thank you very much!  I’ll send you a copy when it’s published!”

    If You Build It, They Will Come Early

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Top

    (I am working on a new gas station still under construction. Please note that the station is still nothing but a concrete building and new pumps. The gas signs read ‘00.00’.”)

    (A customer pulls up in a car and sits there for ten minutes. She then lays on the horn. I go over to her, and she looks extremely annoyed.)

    Me: “Do you need some help, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Finally! Yes, I want my free gas!”

    Me: *puzzled* “Free gas?”

    Customer: *ridiculous sigh and rolling eyes* “Yes! The sign says zero dollars, so the gas must be free! You have to give me some or I’ll sue for false advertising!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we’re not even open yet. We haven’t even finished the roof on the building, we don’t have gas yet. See all the construction stuff?”

    Customer: “Well there’s a sign! It says gas for zero dollars and I want my gas for zero dollars! Now!”

    Me: “Again ma’am, I’m sorry but there is no gas at this station. We’re still building it, we’re not open. Those gas pumps aren’t even hooked up yet.”

    Customer: “Well that’s completely unacceptable! You shouldn’t put signs up before you’re open!”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we’re still building it.”

    Customer: *screaming* Well you shouldn’t build it until you’re open! Idiot!”

    A Crude Assumption That Needs Refining

    | Norway | Crazy Requests, Language & Words

    Customer: “I need oil for my car. I need the 10-40.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we’re out of that.”

    Customer: “Well, go get some more.”

    Me: “I can’t just do that. I could order some for you, and it will be here in a couple of days.”

    Customer: “No! Just go back there!” *points to the storage room* “Get some from the tap.”

    Me: “The tap?”

    Customer: “I know that every gas station is connected to the oil rigs in the North Sea!”

    Yukon Not Spend It

    | Alberta, Canada | Canada, Money, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: "Why is my credit card being denied?"

    Me: "Is it an American credit card?"

    Customer: "Yes, I’m from Texas and I’m traveling to Alaska."

    Me: "Credit card companies sometimes block purchases made in other countries if they don’t know you’re traveling."

    Customer: "But I’m not in another country."

    Me: "This is Canada, sir."

    Customer: "But it’s on the way to Alaska."

    Me: "I know sir, but it’s still another country, so you probably need to call your credit card company."

    Customer: "What stupid country is this?!"

    Me: "Actually sir, it would happen with any country you travel to because it’s a safety feature for your own security."

    Customer: "Well, if Canada wasn’t in the way of Alaska, this wouldn’t be a problem!"

    Related:
    Yukon Not Believe This Juan
    Yukon Spend It
    Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2
    Yukon See It On A Map

    Nicoteenagers

    | Ontario, Canada |

    (I have just gotten my first job, at age 16. I am a clerk in a gas station that mostly sells gas and cigarettes.)

    Customer: “Oh, hey [my name], I didn’t know you worked here.”

    Me: “Yeah, I just started a couple weeks ago. What can I get you?”

    Customer: “Can I get a pack of cigarettes?”

    Me: “We were in grade 8 together, and I’m only 16. I’m pretty sure I can’t sell you those.”

    Customer: “Yeah I like, failed a lot of grades. I’m 19 now.”

    Me: “Really? Can I see your ID then?”

    Customer: “I…I think I’ll try the 7/11 down the street.”

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