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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    A Tall Story

    | St Paul, MN, USA |

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “A pack of cigarettes.”

    Me: “Can I see your ID please?”

    (He hands over an ID of an obvious relative, but not him. The ID says he’s 6’1” and 238 lbs, but this kid is maybe 5’7” and 180 lbs.)

    Me: “This is you?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    (I proceed to quiz him on everything on the ID and he gets it all right, without hesitation.)

    Customer: “Um, I’ve been sick.”

    Me: “So you lost some height then?”

    Highway Robbery

    | Australia | Top

    (A customer comes to the gas station register and hands me their credit card immediately.)

    Customer: “I was looking at the liters display instead of the price.”

    Me: “Yeah, I hate when that happens. Let’s see what your total is.”

    Customer: “Well, I shouldn’t have to pay anymore than the $20 I wanted to put in.”

    Me: “Sorry, but it doesn’t work like that.”

    Customer: “That’s bulls***! I’m just going to drive off! Good luck getting your money!” *drives off without paying*

    (I call the police who arrive ten minutes later, which is coincidentally when the customer returns–in his haste to drive off, he had forgotten to take back his credit card.)

    Customer: “You stole my credit card, you a**hole!”

    Me: “Just give me a second sir. I’m in the middle of reporting a drive-off to these police officers.”

    Customer: “Haha! So I’m not the only one to do a drive-off from here?”

    Police: “Today you are. Please come with us, sir.”

    The Financial Crisis Personified

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA |

    (A lady walks up to my register with a medium coffee.)

    Me: “That’ll be $1.17 please.”

    Customer: “All right, I’ve just got a few cards here to put that on.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Take 75 cents off this one.” *hands over card*

    Me: “OK…42 cents is the remaining balance.”

    Customer: “Next, take 40 cents off this one.” *hands over next card* “…and take the remaining 2 cents off this card.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve got two extra pennies for you; I’m not charging two cents…”

    Customer: “Oh, well thank you! You know how it goes sometimes with credit cards, I’m sure…”

    Me: “No, no I really do not.”

    Customer: “Oh, well you really should manage your finances better!” *walks out*

    One More Puke On The Path To Recovery

    | Syracuse, NY, USA |

    (I’m a female working in a gas station and it’s close to midnight. The customer is obviously drunk, which means I can’t sell him alcohol.)

    Customer: “You’re the kind of pretty thing I’m not allowed to touch.

    (He proceeds to our beer cooler and takes one bottle out of a six-pack.)

    Me: “Sir, I can’t sell you that for two reasons. One, you are obviously drunk and store policy says you cant but alcohol. Two, if you were sober it would have to be the whole six-pack or nothing.”

    Customer: *stares at me for 30 seconds and then pukes on his coat*

    Customer: “Am I sober enough now?”

    Have Age, Will Complain

    | Alberta, Canada |

    (Our local gas station has recently been taken over by new owners. An elderly woman comes in to buy a cup of coffee and takes it to the front to pay.)

    Me: “That’ll be a dollar fifty.”

    Customer: “What? That’s outrageous! The old owners would never have charged that much!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s the same price as it was before.”

    Customer: “Well… I’m seventy! I have the right to b****!” *storms out*


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