Featured:
  • The Medium Suddenly Felt Very Small
    (1,437 thumbs up)
  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Tat Settles That

    | NC, USA | Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (I am standing in line behind a little old lady. I am covered in tattoos.)

    Cashier: “Your total is $8. Will that be cash or credit?”

    Little Old Lady: “I don’t have a credit card! And I only have $5 in cash!”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, I have a few dollars you can borrow.” *holds out cash*

    Little Old Lady: *turns around and sees me* “NO! I WILL NOT TAKE MONEY FROM A DEVIL WORSHIPER LIKE YOU! And look! You are buying cigarettes! Your generation will ruin us!” *storms out without paying*

    Cashier: *to me* “She was buying tobacco and cigarettes!”

    Phoning In The Irony

    | Michigan, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology

    (My aunt is teaching me how to do dispatch at the gas station she owns, for whenever they’re busy. I’m too young to sell any cigarettes to a customer and someone else has to do it. If she’s busy or needs to help a mechanic she lets me run the front as long as I don’t sell any cigarettes, so I need to call for help on that a lot. A woman and her young girl walk in the store. The woman is on her phone playing a popular game.)

    Little Girl: “Mommy! Guess what I learned at school today?!”

    Woman: “Huh? Oh, yeah that’s great, [Little Girl].” *continues to play on phone*

    Little Girl: “Mommy! I asked you to guess! It’s really fun; I promise!”

    Woman: “Be QUIET! I’m busy! You can go pick up a piece a candy or something. I’m gonna pay for gas.”

    Little Girl: “Okay!” *heads off, happy again, to get candy*

    Woman: *walks up to our counter* “I need $20 on pump four, please.” *taps on phone*

    Me: “All right, I’ll—” *I get a phone call from my aunt saying she won’t be back for a while and that I should call a coworker to help me with any cigarette sales* “—Okay, I’ll call her right away. Thank you.” *click*

    Woman: *has put her phone away* “I find it very rude that you would talk on your cellphone while dealing with a customer! You young people must have those d*** things glued to your hands or something. You won’t even take the time to do your job!”

    Little Girl: “Mommy, I got a [Candy Bar].”

    Woman: “Yeah, okay.”

    Me: “I’ll… just ring those up for you. That’ll be [total]. Have a nice day.”

    Woman: *back to her game* “Huh? Oh, yeah. You, too. Come on, [Little Girl].”

    (Honestly there have been dumber customers, but this really got on my nerves.)

    Live By The Sword And Following A Code(words)

    , | Armstrong, BC, Canada | Bizarre

    (My coworker goes outside to help some customers on our full-serve pumps, while I stay inside to watch the store. As he walks back in, one customer follows. I recognise him as a regular, and also a bit of an oddball. When they enter, the following conversation ensues.)

    Customer: “It was nice talking to you. It was good.”

    (He holds out his hand, and my coworker shakes it, somewhat dubiously.)

    Coworker: “Yeah, sure.”

    Customer: “We’ll meet tomorrow at the same place as usual. Under the bridge.”

    (I have no idea what he’s talking about, and it’s clear from his expression that my coworker has no idea either. However, he nods and goes with it.)

    Customer: “10 o’clock. Make sure you bring your sword.”

    Coworker: “…yeah, for sure.”

    (The customer then leaves. As soon as he’s gone, my coworker and I look at each other incredulously.)

    Me: “What the f*** was that?”

    Coworker: “I have no idea! That was weird. Oh, wait, he’s coming back.”

    (Sure enough, the customer is walking back inside.)

    Customer: “I’ll need to get a new sword, though. Mine shattered last time. So, yeah I’ll need a new one. See you tomorrow. 10 o’clock.”

    Coworker: “Yeah, yeah, sure. See you there.”

    Not So Closed Minded, Part 7

    | Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (Near the end of my night shift I have been held up. The doors are smashed to pieces, there are at least four police cars on the forecourt (including the dog unit), several police in the store and crime scene tape across the entrance. While being interviewed by a detective I notice a regular walking up to the door.)

    Policeman: “You can’t go in there, ma’am.

    (He is on the other side of the forecourt, too far away to stop her. The customer ignores him and moves the cones.)

    Policeman: “Ma’am! You can’t go in. They’re closed.”

    (She ignores him again, ducks under the tape and weaves her way through the shattered glass past two more shocked policemen. After picking up the newspaper she walks to the counter.)

    Manager: “We’re closed.”

    Customer: “Oh. Really? Why?”

    Related:
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4

    Has A Load Of Explaining To Do

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I am helping an older couple buy lottery tickets. They have a ten dollar bill, and their total is at nine dollars.)

    Wife: “Why not get one more 1$ dollar ticket. I’ll blow my load!”

    (I am thinking: do not laugh at that! You are an adult. That was an innocent statement meaning she’ll spend all her money. Maintain composure! Unfortunately she says it again, and the husband and I make eye contact and die laughing.)

    Husband: *mutters* “It means something different these days; I’ll explain on the way home.”

    (I can only imagine what that conversation was like!)

    Page 2/3412345...Last