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    Fruit Is But One Food Group

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I work in a standard gas station: there are few healthy things and lots of unhealthy things. As it is summer, we sell a lot of ice cream products. A family of three approaches me register and the father places ice cream bars on the counter.)

    Father: “Just these please.”

    Me: “All right, was there anything else you needed?”

    Mother: “No, thanks.”

    Boy: “Mommy! Can I have this?”

    (The boy, about four, proceeds to show her a container of sliced fruit that we have.)

    Mother: “Nuh-uh, put that back. You’re not getting that.”

    Boy: “But Mommy! It’s delicious! I’ll eat it!”

    Mother: “Put that back now! You have to eat your ice cream bar first!”

    (The boy continues to beg for the cup of fruit until he’s forced to leave the store with his ice cream bar.)

    Smut And Sin, Just Don’t Show Skin

    | British Columbia, Canada | Religion, Rude & Risque, Top

    (We sell a variety of different magazines. The very back row is where the smut magazines are kept. Note that I’m a 16-year-old girl and very uninterested in that sort of thing.)

    Customer: “Do you know if you only sell Playboy magazines, or do you sell Playgirl magazines as well?”

    Me: “I have no idea, ma’am. I don’t, uh, pay much attention to the back row.”

    Customer: “Why? Do scantily clad girls offend you and your religion?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I’m actually not really religious. I’m just not into that sort of thing.”

    Customer: “What do you mean you’re not religious? Don’t you know that Jesus died on the cross for your sins?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t want to get into a debate about religion. I just want to help you find what you’re looking for–”

    Customer: “You’re a sinner! You sin and sell smut magazines!”

    Me: *confused* “Ma’am, weren’t you looking for Playgirl magazines?”

    (The customer turns beet red, storms out of the store, hops into her car, and drives away.)

    Wake Up And Sell The Coffee, Part 2

    | Riverside, CA, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m ringing up customers when I suddenly have a severe allergic reaction to something I ate on my break twenty minutes ago. By severe reaction, I mean my entire body is quickly becoming covered in hives in the span of about 30 seconds.)

    Customer: “Hey, can you hurry up? I’m kind of in a hurry.”

    Me: “Sorry, I think I’m gonna have to get someone else to finish
    helping you.”

    Customer: “No! I’m late and I need you to finish ringing me up right now!”

    Me: “Uhh…” *passes out*

    (As I am coming to, I can hear the customer still yelling.)

    Customer: “No, you can’t help me! I know he’s faking it and I’m not leaving until he rings me up!”

    Related:
    Wake Up And Sell The Coffee

    I Have Lost A Dream

    | Raleigh, NC, USA |

    Lost customer: “Excuse me, sir. I’m lost. Can you help me, please?”

    Me: “Sure. What are you looking for?”

    Lost customer: “I’m looking for Milkjer Blvd.”

    Me: “I’ve never heard of it.”

    Lost customer: “Yeah, it’s a weird spelling. But it’s clearly Milkjer Blvd.”

    Me: “Can I see your directions?”

    Lost customer: “Sure. See, it’s spelled M-L-K-J-r Blvd.”

    Run-Of-The-Mill Requests

    | Madison, WI, USA |

    (A customer sets all their items up on the counter. This includes a six-pack of beer.)

    Me: “Okay, your total will be $12.12.”

    (The customer hands me their food stamp card.)

    Me: “I can run this through, and it’ll take most of the total off. But beer isn’t covered under this program. I apologize.”

    Customer: “Excuse me, what?”

    Me: “Yeah, alcohol isn’t covered under the Supplemental Nutritional Assistance program.”

    Customer: “But beer is nutritional. It has wheat in it.”

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