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    Weekend Roundup: Attack Of The Tax!

    , , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

    Attack Of The Tax! Tax season may be over in the U.S., but what happens when you mix clueless customers and too-high taxes? A ca-tax-trophe, that’s what!

    1. War Can Be Taxing:
      The Revolutionary War of 2012: Founding Fathers doing revolutions in their graves due to a brainless populace!
    2. Taxation With Agitation:
      It’s like the Boston Tea Party…except in a gas station…in Tennessee…
    3. Bacon, Lettuce, and Taxes:
      We know that fast food customers will eat anything, but we never knew taxes could be tasty!
    4. Taxing Customers:
      However you add things up, this retail customer is minus a few brain cells.
    5. Fortunately, It’s Raining Pork Barrels And Earmarks:
      Wonder where your tax dollars go? To humongous, lake-covering umbrellas, of course!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Your Argument Is Full Of Hot Air

    | Campbell, CA, USA |

    (Our gas station’s air pump is broken so we have taken both air hoses and put them under the cover they normally stick through. A customer drives up, give me his credit card, and starts to pump gas.)

    Customer: “Where are your air hoses?”

    Me: “The air pump is broken, so we don’t have the air hoses out.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (Despite what I said, the customer opens the air pump cover, pulls one of the hoses out, and goes over to his car tire and tries to put air in it. A few minutes later, he comes back to my booth.)

    Customer: “I think your air is broken. It’s deflating my tire!”

    Me: “Yes, as I said earlier, it’s broken. That’s why the hose was under the cover.”

    Customer: “Now my tire is almost flat! You are going to need to pay for a tow to another gas station.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I told you that the pump was broken. I also put the hoses under the cover. You decided to pull them out and try to use them anyway.”

    Customer: *yelling* “You should pay for my tow! If I ruin my rim driving to go get air I’m going to make you pay for it!”

    Bigots Will Only Get Stonewalled

    | Indiana, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Top

    (I’m a cashier at a newly opened gas station. It is the first of its chain in the area. As such, many of the customers are asking questions about the store. Since we’re new, I’m trying my best to be extra friendly and helpful to everyone. An old woman approaches me with several items. She looks rather concerned.)

    Customer: “So…are you a gas station or a grocery store?”

    Me: “Both, ma’am. We’re all about convenience.”

    Customer: “And what sorts of customers come here?”

    Me: “Well, we’ve just opened, ma’am, so its hard to say at this point.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to shop at a store for God-hating homosexuals.”

    Me: “Come again?”

    Customer: “You heard me!”

    (I do my best to maintain a neutral stance and begin scanning her items as quickly as possible.)

    Me: “Ma’am, by policy we can’t turn away customers.”

    (She gives me a strange look and her eyes widen.)

    Customer: “You’re one of them aren’t you!?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “You’re a f*****!”

    Me: “I’m not, actually, but it is my job to serve any customer that comes to my register.”

    Customer: “I will never come here again! May God have mercy on your sinful soul!”

    (I stand there for a few moments absolutely dumbstruck. Meanwhile, two older gentlemen in matching lavender shirts come up to my register and drop a $50 bill in my tip jar while only purchasing a single gallon of milk. One of them grins and looks me in the eye.)

    Older gentleman: “Doesn’t matter if you’re on ‘our team’ or not. We’re coming here every day from now on.”

    All Roads Lead To Wrong

    | Worcester, MA, USA | Geography

    Customer: “How long until we get to Virginia?”

    Me: “You’re headed north to Boston, ma’am. Virginia is in the opposite direction.”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “You’re headed to Boston, ma’am. You need to turn around.”

    Customer: “I knew we got on the wrong way back in New York!”

    You’re A Fine One To Talk

    | New Zealand | Bizarre

    (A customer comes in to pay for her gas.)

    Me: “Hello! Is it just the fuel today?”

    Customer: “Just tell me where to swipe my EFTPOS card.”

    Me: *points* “Just there, ma’am.”

    Customer: *swipes card and enters PIN number*

    Me: “Uh…that’s the wrong pin number. Sorry, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well, maybe if you weren’t yabbering away like an air-headed lunatic I could have concentrated and got it right!”

    Me: “I’m sorry! If you wouldn’t mind just re-entering your pin, please?”

    (Suddenly, the customer turns around to the other customers behind her and throws her hands in the air.)

    Customer: “And she’s still talking! GAWD, woman!”


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