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    Pleased To Fake Your Acquaintance

    | Kansas, USA | Liars & Scammers, Top, Underaged

    (I am working the overnight shift at a gas station when a young woman approaches and asks for a pack of cigarettes. She looks a bit young, so I ask for an ID. I glance at it and see that she is indeed old enough, but there is something just a bit off about the ID. We’re instructed to verify some information when we’re not sure if an ID is real or not.)

    Me: “Okay, what’s your date of birth?”

    Customer: *correctly states the DOB on the id*

    Me: “Good, what street do you live on?”

    Customer: “Washington.”

    Me: “So far, so good. One last question. What class did we have together our freshman year?”

    Customer: “Uh…”

    Me: “Nice try. I can’t accept this ID. Say hi to your sister for me, though.”

    Driving The Point Home, Part 2

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Top

    (A few customers are milling around the store, including a young woman and a uniformed police officer. Note that 99.9% of people here use a driver’s licence for an ID.)

    Woman: “Pack of [cigarettes], please.”

    Me: “Sure, do you have some ID on you?”

    Woman:No. Why the h*** would you ask me that?!”

    Me: “I’ll need to see some ID before I put these through, sorry. It’s our policy to ID anyone who looks under 25.”

    Woman: “Are you kidding me? I am 25; I just drove here!”

    (This entire time, the officer has been waiting in line behind her, and has overheard the conversation. Upon hearing that she has been driving, the officer makes eye contact with me, and after a second or two it clicks.)

    Me: “Sorry, so you don’t have your driver’s licence on you from the drive here? You know it’s illegal to drive without a licence on you?”

    Woman: “F***ing duh. What’s it to you?”

    Me: “Nothing at all to me, ma’am.” *looking over to the cop* “Sorry, officer, won’t be a second.”

    (The woman turns around and finds herself face-to-face with the police officer, who’s grinning like a child. Long story short, she walked home that day.)

    Related:
    Driving The Point Home

    Adamant, If A Bit Addled

    | Cartersville, GA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I’m a fuel clerk at a large chain grocery store’s gas station. One evening a morbidly obese redneck woman was having trouble getting her pump to work. She wanted to get a fuel injection cleaner (additech) added into her gasoline, but had no clue what she was doing. After swiping a credit card, the pump’s computer screen automatically asks the customer if they want to buy additech. The conversation went like this.)

    Me: “Hey, how are you doing today?”

    Customer: *mouth full of tobacco* “I wanna get some of that Additech stuff!”

    Me: “Alright, after swiping your card the pump will ask if you want to purchase Additech. Press ‘Yes.’ Since you are driving a truck, you will select the $9.99 price by pressing the ’2′ key on the screen.”

    Customer: “I wanna get me some of that Additech stuff!”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am. Please just swipe your card and follow the prompts.”

    Customer: “I WANNA GET SOME F***ING ADDITECH STUFF!” *spits out a glob of tobacco* “Why the f*** won’t you get me some of that f***ing Additech stuff?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please calm down. Would you like me to show you how?”

    (Frustrated, the customer begins yelling to the other customers in line.)

    Customer: “I’m not retarded! He said I’m retarded!”

    Me: “Ma’am, let me show you.”

    (I walk out to the pump, swipe her card, and as predicted the Additech screen comes up. I set her pump up, and she fills her truck. Afterwards, I come back to my register. A minute later, Ms. Additech comes back.)

    Customer: “What is Additech anyway? DOES IT MAKE YOUR CAR GO BETTER?!”

    Weekly Roundup: The Parent Is Not Always Right

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Family & Kids, Roundups

    The Parent Is Not Always Right: This week, we feature five stories of people who aren’t just bad customers, but bad parents too!

    1. Bad Parents Bug Us:
      A mother and her two “angels” go on an insect-killing spree at a zoo.
    2. Fruit Is But One Food Group:
      There’s nothing sweet about this parent’s approach to nutrition!
    3. Talking S*** Behind Someone’s Back 101:
      A mother teaches her daughter the joys of smack-talk.
    4. Rounding Down To The Nearest Child:
      Signs you have too many kids: you don’t know how many you have!
    5. Oh Where, Oh Where Have My Role Models Gone:
      Nanny nanny boo-boo, mommy acts like a doo-doo!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Your Argument Just Went Up In Smoke

    | BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (A young man walks into store, grabs two energy drinks, and then comes to the till to pay. As he’s paying, a middle-aged customer comes into the store.)

    Middle-aged Customer: “I can’t believe they haven’t banned those energy drinks yet! They’re so bad for you. Some kid down in the States died from them!”

    Young Customer: *finishes paying and leaves*

    Middle-aged Customer: “I’ll have two packs of cigarettes, please.”


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