November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

H2-Slow To Realise

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work at a sno-cone stand for my uncle, and as it is usually very hot, my stand almost always has a line. Customer #1 is sitting at a picnic table off to the side, not in line.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, can I get a water?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, in just a moment, after I help this girl with her cone.”

Customer #1: “I don’t care! I’m thirsty and it’s hot. Do you want me to become dehydrated and die?!”

Me: *getting sick of people not waiting in line and expecting service* “Frankly, sir, I don’t care. There is a line, that you can see is quite long, and you are currently at the end of it.”

Customer #1: “WOW! I should tell your boss about how terrible your service is. You’re being a b***!”

Customer #2: *a regular* “Go ahead, dude. It doesn’t matter; that’s her uncle.”

Time To Trade In One Slightly Used Mom

| Terrace, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Is this flea market going well for you?”

Me: “Decently… considering how many other tables here, I’m glad for the business we’ve gotten.”

Customer: “You can sell just about anything here, right?”

Me: “Mmhmm.”

Customer: “If I give you twenty bucks, will you please sell my children?”

Me: “Well…um. I’m sorry, but no.”

Customer: “Please?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Selling your children would be slavery.”

Customer: “Okay. So, can I buy this?” *holds up a cheap ring*

Me: “Sure. That’ll be–”

Customer: “I’ll give you my daughter for it!”

Me: “No. You know what? If I give you the ring, will you go away?”

Customer: *goes away with her children and the cheap ring*

More Than He Bargained For

, | Middletown, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(My father is manning tables at the local flea market. A man comes up to the table and picks out an item that’s priced at $8.)

Customer: “Will you take $6 for this?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(The man finds another item, this one priced at $5.)

Customer: “Will you take $4?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(After a while, the man finds another item, this time priced at $6.)

Customer: “$5?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(Finally, the man gathers all of his items together and winds up for the ultimate bargaining ploy.)

Customer: “How about $20 for all three?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(Dad was always an agreeable sort.)