(A woman is purchasing a long fish called a dojo loach.)

Customer: “Now, will I need to fill the tank halfway and add some sand for it to crawl onto?”

Me: “No, ma’am, it’s a fish.”

Customer: *stares in confused silence*

Me: “Fish don’t need to crawl onto land to breathe.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “It will be fine in a full aquarium.”

Customer: “You’d better be right!” *leaves looking dissatisfied*

(Note: we sell fake jelly fish as tank decorations.)

Me: “May I help you?”

Customer: “I want some jelly fish, but I need you to answer some questions first.”

Me: “Of course. Go for it.”

Customer: “How do I keep them alive in this plastic packaging?”

Me: “They aren’t alive.”

Customer: “So why are you trying to sell them?!”

Me: “They’re decorations. They’re made of plastic.”

Customer: “How am I supposed to know this?”

Me: “They are plastic, have a string attached to them, have a sign that says ‘plastic jelly fish’, and they say ‘made in china’ on them.”

Customer: *pause* “I’ll just take one of those castle decorations…”