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    The Downers Of Up-Selling

    | Canada | Money, Spouses & Partners, Top

    (At the ferry terminal where I work, we have a discount card. When loaded with money, it will give you a substantial discount when customers use it to pay for a ticket.  I don’t usually mention it because all the local commuters know about it, but when they are paying for 4 or more people at a time, it is actually cheaper to buy the card than to pay the usual price.)

    Me: “Hello! How many of you are traveling today?”

    Customer: “Five of us and the car.”

    Me: Great! Hey, would you like to save some money today? We have this card and—”

    Customer: ”No! No card! Don’t sell me anything!”

    Me: “I understand, sir. But if you load $95 on this card, it’s actually cheaper than the $120 dollars I will be charging you normally. You see it’s a discount card and-”

    Customer: “No! I said no! Don’t you people listen? Always trying to sell me crap. Just give me a ticket!”

    Me: “Okay then. That will be $120 instead of the $95 for a ticket. No problem.”

    Customer’s Wife: “What?!” *smacks husband’s arm and glares* “Will you listen to her?”

    Customer: *sheepishly* “Oh… uh… wait. Maybe we will take that card thing.”

    Me: “Right away, sir…” 

    A Stern Warning For Hypochondriacs

    | Tasmania, Australia |

    (I see a woman sitting in a chair with her head between her legs looking rather ill.)

    Me: “Are you alright? Can I help with anything?”

    Passenger: “I think I’m really seasick.”

    Me: “Oh, well, uh, are you sure it’s not flu or something you’ve eaten?”

    Passenger: “No, I’ve never felt like this before. I know I’m seasick.”

    Me: “Oh, ok then. I’ll just go see if I can find the medic.”

    (I didn’t have the heart to tell her that we hadn’t even untied yet.)