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    No Longer Power-Mad Over Those With Power

    , | TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

    (At the fast food place where I work we’re constantly getting customers complaining about the prices of our food, mostly when it’s only women working the counter. Though we tell them they can call the number provided to complain to our main branch, they never do. This day, however, corporate representatives, including the owner of the store, was at our restaurant for a routine inspection.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe how high this stuff is! This is ridiculous!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but we have no control over the prices.”

    Customer: “It’s still f***ed up! You need to lower the prices!”

    Manager: “Sir, I have no control the price of the food. However, if you have a problem with it, you can go talk to the man in the tie right over there. He’s the one that sets the prices.”

    (The man looks at the owner and turns back, red-faced. He takes his food and leaves the store, not even glancing back in the direction of the owner.)

    Manager: “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

    (He’s never complained about the prices since.)

    Small Minds Can’t Do Small Print

    , | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work for a big fast food company and occasionally we have coupons for which no one bothers to read the fine print, which says to let the order taker know of the coupon prior to ordering.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get this meal?”

    (Because I have worked for so long and know most of the prices I don’t always punch the orders in right away which comes in handy when the people don’t tell me about the coupon beforehand.)

    Me: “Okay your total is [total]. Please drive ahead.”

    Customer: “But I have a coupon!”

    Me: “Sure. In the future please let me know before your order.”

    Customer: “Whatever.”

    (Customer drives off and pulls up to my window.)

    Me: “Okay your new total is [total]; may I have the coupon, please?”

    Customer: “I don’t have it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry but I cannot give you a discount without the coupon.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Well, my management requires me to collect the coupons.”

    Customer: “But I can print them online as much as I want!”

    Me: “True. However I do need to collect the coupon to give you the discount.”

    Customer: “This is bull-s**t! I don’t understand why I can’t get the d*** discount!”

    (I try to explain it the concept in the simplest terms I can think of.)

    Me: “Think about it this way: Can you get into a concert without the ticket?”

    Customer: “I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHING! I’M NOT SOME DUMB TEENAGER LIKE YOU DOING SOME S*** MINIMUM WAGE JOB!”

    (Clearly natural selection has stopped since people like this are still around…)

    Not Promoting Decent Behavior

    , | TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am working the front at a fast food restaurant. I am ringing up two ladies (mother and daughter) up. They are regulars.)

    Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

    Daughter: “Hi, I have this coupon: buy one get one free breakfast sandwiches.”

    Me: “All right, which sandwiches would you like?”

    (They order two sandwiches, one more expensive than the other. I promo the more expensive one off.)

    Daughter: *to mother* “Haha, she only charged us $1.69!”

    Mother: *mockingly* “Smart employees!” *snorts*

    Me: “I did it to be nice, but I’m definitely not doing it for you again.”

    Remain As Cold As Ice

    , | GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a manager in a well-known fast food restaurant.)

    Customer: “You a**holes are trying to kill me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, what’s the problem?”

    Customer: “You stupid mother-f***ers are trying to kill me!”

    Me: “I assure you we’re not trying to kill you. Could you please tell me what’s wrong?”

    Customer: “I ordered a [Soda] with no f****** ice, and you stupid mother-f***ers filled the cup with ice! I am deathly allergic to ice!”

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that, ma’am. Let me fix that for you.”

    Customer: “You’d better fix it. And I want my f****** money back, you stupid mother-f***er. I’m going to call the district office and have you all fired.”

    Me: “Sure. I need to get that number from my office, as well as a refund slip for you to sign.”

    (She continues to call me assorted names as I walk away.)

    Me: “Sorry about the wait. Just print your name and sign. You can include a contact number if you’d like the district manager to call you.”

    Customer: “I’m calling the f***ing office first thing tomorrow morning.”

    Me: “I apologize again. Here’s your money, and here’s your [Soda], no ice, to which you are deathly allergic. I’m really sorry for the inconvenience. Have a good night.”

    (She leaves the store still cussing up a storm.)

    Next Customer: “That was amazing. Your facial expression didn’t change a bit the whole time.”

    Me: “That’s because a decade of working customer service has left me dead inside. Now I’m going outside for a cigarette to try to finish off the rest of me.”

    (The next morning I got a phone call from the district manager about how I was rude and unsympathetic to her serious medical issue, which she conveniently didn’t explain to him. I faxed him the refund slip with the reason for refund: Customer is deathly allergic to the solid form of water. He ended up praising me for not physically assaulting her.)

    Pranks For Breakfast

    , | Wheat Ridge, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m 16, working in McDonald’s over the summer, and for this particular shift I’m taking orders in the drive-thru. It’s about three in the afternoon.)

    Me: “Welcome to McDonald’s. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’ll have an Egg McMuffin.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that’s one of our breakfast items, and we stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll just have some hash browns.”

    Me: “Sadly, that’s another breakfast item.”

    Customer: “Hot cakes!”

    Me: “Breakfast item again, sir.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll have a Whopper with cheese.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to serve you one of those, but they’re sold at the Burger King a block down the road. We have Big Macs.”

    Customer: “I’ll just have a drink. Medium Frosty, please.”

    Me: “And for that, you’ll have to go to the Wendy’s across the street. We just have regular milkshakes.”

    Customer: “Medium Coke, then.”

    Me: “Lovely! That’ll be $1.08. Please pull around to the first window.”

    (I used the moment it took the car to pull around to take a deep breath before I turned to take the customer’s money, and saw him looking back at me with the biggest grin ever, laughing at himself.)

    Me: “Hi, Dad.”

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