Tiny Pooch With A Super-Sized Grudge

| Missouri, USA |

(I’m taking orders and money in the drive-thru booth during a rush. A customer pulls up to the window.)

Me: “Hi, your total is $6.54.”

Customer: *glaring* “I’m mad at you!”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “I went through **** earlier, and they didn’t have any french fries, so I had to come here!”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Yeah! And he’s mad at you too!”

(She points to the back seat, which is completely empty.)

Me: “Yeah, um, he…he looks pretty mad, I guess.”

Customer: *snaps* “C’mere, Sparkie!”

(A little poodle hops up into her lap.)

Customer: “Tell her how mad you are!”

(The customer then holds the dog up to the window to show me how mad it was.)

Me: “Wow, um, alright.”

(She pays and I give her the change.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer: *smiling* “You too, sweetie!” *glares* “…but I’m still mad at you!”

Always Right, Especially When It’s Mom

, | Buffalo, NY, USA |

Coworker: “Guys! There’s a car pulled in backwards in the drive-thru. They’re backwards!”

Backwards customer: “Hi, I just want a fish sandwich and a chocolate milk shake.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry. We don’t have those items. Is there something else I can get you?”

Backwards customer: “No, I just want a fish sandwich and a chocolate milk shake!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, do you realize you’re at [Mexican fast food restaurant]? Would you like a taco?”

Backwards customer: “Okay, okay, we’re kidding! Alice, this is your mom and Aunt Marie!”

(I happen to be Alice. Family are the worst customers!)

A Number 666 With A Side Of Brimstone

, | Newfoundland, Canada |

(After serving them their fast food, a woman with a family of six runs up to the counter, furious.)

Customer: “You! You stacked our food wrong! Now my kids are crying!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Come look!”

(She brings me down to their table, where their three pre-teens are crying their eyes out and her husband looks incredibly frustrated.)

Customer: “Look!”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t see anything wrong with your food–”

Customer: “[Child #1] is supposed to eat first, but his food is on the bottom! We won’t be able to get it without moving the other things!”

Me: “I don’t think I understand.”

Customer: “He’s the first person on the left! He has to eat first, or Satan will claim his soul!”

Me: “Uh…”

(I decide to ask counter-clockwise around the table what everyone ordered, and hand them their food out off the pile.)

Customer:, “Oh, thank you! You will serve as a warrior of God someday!”

Me: “…right.”

(That family still shows up once a month or so, and suffice to say, I always run out to see what order they’re sitting in before I serve their food.)

Home Of The Disclaimer

| Detroit, MI, USA |

Customer: “…and I’d like extra tomatoes on my sandwich, please.”

Me: “All right, that’ll be [price].”

Customer: “Why is it so expensive?!”

Me: “Well ma’am, you asked for cheese, bacon, and extra tomatoes. All those cost extra on the sandwich because they’re expensive products.”

Customer: “But your policy says that I can have it my way! Why am I being charged?!”

Me: “You can have it your way…you just have to pay for it.”

Fast Times At Fry Cook High

, | Ontario, Canada | Top

Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Teenage girl #1: “Oh my God… like.. could we talk to the cook?”

Me: “… what?”

Teenage girl #2: “Yeah. Could you go get him?”

Me: “Why?”

Teenage girl #1: “He’s hot.”

Me: “Alright, then.”

(The cook then comes out to talk with them.)

Cook: “Yes?”

Teenage girl #2: “Like… what’re you doing after work?”

Cook: “Going home to see my one month old son and girlfriend.”

Teenage girl #1: “Oh my God, you have a son!? That’s so gross. You’re so young!”

Cook: “This is why you use condoms, kids. Stay in school!”

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

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