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    Alignment, Lawful Good; Wisdom, -6

    , | Englewood, FL, USA |

    Customer: “Yes, do your combo meals come with a Coke?”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, they come with fries and a drink.”

    Customer: “But what if I wanted something other than Coke?”

    Me: “Well, you fill your drink yourself around the corner over there, so you can get whatever you want.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.” *customer places order*

    Me: *sets out tray with receipt on top*

    Customer: *looks at receipt, suddenly frowns* “Hey, it says ‘Coke’ on here for a drink. I didn’t order a Coke!”

    Me: “That just means you ordered a drink.”

    Customer: “But I didn’t want a Coke!”

    Me: “That’s fine, ma’am. You can put whatever you’d like in your drink at the drink machines back there.”

    Customer: “BUT IT SAYS COKE ON THE RECEIPT!”

    Me: “All of the soft drinks are the same prices. It doesn’t matter what it says on the receipt.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *leaves with her cup and fills her drink*

    Coworkers: *laugh for the next ten minutes*

    Nonsensical Hypotheticals

    , | San Diego, CA, USA |

    (Customer has pulled up the the drive-thru after ordering a coffee.)

    Customer: “Can you add the cream and sugar for me?”

    Me: “It’s against policy to do that to prevent contamination.”

    Customer: “Well, what if I had no arms?”

    Me: *dumb founded*

    Customer: “If I spill the cream as I’m adding it while driving, I’m going to sue you!”

    Me: “Sir, you’re in a parking lot. You can pull over.”

    *customer speeds off*

    Manager: “If he didn’t have arms, how would he be driving?!”

    How OJ Might Order OJ

    , | Midwest USA |

    Customer at a drive-through: “Do you have orange juice, not an orange drink?”

    Me: “Yes, we have orange juice.”

    Customer: “I asked if you have orange juice, not an orange drink!”

    Me: “And I said we do have orange juice…”

    Customer, yelling: “Why don’t you answer my question!”

    Me: “I did…twice…”

    Customer: “F**k you! I don’t need to take this!”

    Me: “Oooookay then…”

    How To Scam A Scammer, Part 4

    , | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    (My mom and I did long shifts at the restaurant we worked at, from 10 AM to 9 PM. Around 6:30 PM we received a call from a customer.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m calling in for a complaint.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s the problem?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I came in this morning and ordered some food, but the guy there, he just PUNCHED me in the face!”

    Me: “Wh…you’re saying somebody working here punched you? When?”

    Customer: “It was today around noon. The man working there punched me. So can I get some free food? ‘Cause it really hurt. I mean, I could sue you guys.”

    Me, trying really hard not to laugh: “I’m sorry, sir, we can’t do that. My mother and I have been working here since the restaurant opened and I assure you, neither of us have punched you in the face. Also, we only have female employees…”

    Customer: “…Oh.” *click*

    Related:
    How To Scam A Scammer, Part 3
    How To Scam A Scammer, Part 2
    Lesson 1, How To Scam A Scammer

    It Runs In The Family

    , | California, USA |

    (A little kid comes running up to counter and points at our menu board above my head.)

    Kid: “I want that one!”

    Me: “The taco or the burrito, honey?”

    Kid’s mother: “Don’t point! That’s rude. You have to tell her what you want.”

    Kid: “I want the taco.”

    Me, turning to the mother: “Ok. What can I get for you?”

    Kid’s mother: *points* “I want that one.”

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